by Es 24 Replies latest jw friends
Hi all,
Was having a discussion with my fiance today about a time just before we got engaged....there was something he said that shocked me had to do with money.....it shocked me a little coz i didnt think he could be like that.
Got me thinking how many of us have this mental image what WE think our partners are like when in fact they are not like that.
Dont know if this is coming out right????
es
Yes Es, I'm hearing you. I was talking with my hubby about travelling overseas & his cynicism shocked me, especially since he's travelled around Australia. I can't wait to travel, & I'm hoping that the experience will knock the cynicism out of him!
You've got to go with your gut though. My hubby was very stingy when we were going out (both uni students) but my gut said he wouldn't always be like that, & he isn't!
I think I know what you mean. It can take a long time to really get to know someone, because lots of the time you dont find out their true response to a situation until it happens, and of course it can take many years to encounter lots of different situations together.
I think that is partly why my first marriage didnt work. We only encountered a limited number of trying situations together. When we started meeting real life head on after marraige our approaches were very different - even diametrically opposed in some cases. It turned out we were trying to reach different goals in life, and we split up eventually.
I believe I know her relatively well, I do not believe she throughly knows me, however.
I think in my case ive made a mental image based on some stuff bout what my partners like and maybe he really isnt like that at all.....and everytime something happens we end up fighting coz im like hang on your not supposed to be like that get me?
es
Aren't you marrying soon?
Money is the greatest cause of tension in relationships, because it raises emotions about security or lack thereof.
You must work it it out now as it will only get worse post marriage
The problem bout the money was over a year ago so not a current problem its just that i never realised he felt a sudden way till today when he told me.....kinda blew me away abit
es
Hullo Es
Ain't life grand?
I'm just a bit cranky cause I've been given the run around by current squeeze.
Similar stuff really. How do we know what's going on in others hearts and minds? Doesn't matter how much you communicate, ultimately it's a game of trust. Honesty is my catchcry and I'm simply not getting it and my patience has run dry, so goodbye to her. At least as lovers, could still be friends(I hope).
I've been married for 15 to 18 years now - I can't remember, but things like this will always come up. And partly because you feel differently in different decades of your lives as well. Not too long ago my wife told me should couldn't enjoy dinners out (we don't go out very much) because of thinking of the money. How she could use it elsewhere. I on the other hand every once in a while really enjoy a night out with friends.
A little talking. A little rethinking. A little better understanding of each other.
This will happen many times in your marriage.
Extremely well cause to her credit she welcomes questions, as do I. That's key, not just being truthful, but wanting to tell the truth at all times.
