well, it's been almost a year since i have been out of the borg "mentally". and almost 6 months since officially DA'ing myself and stepping away from friendships that i had worked at for a decade. actually, they stepped away from me, but whatever.
it's been a heady year for me. a lot of transitions and executions. it's been a sort of personal renaissance and metamorphosis. it's been painful, but ultimately, the ride of my life.
so, a couple of weeks ago i ventured out on my first vacation as a freshman year apostate. i didn't get to do all of the apostate type stuff that i had hoped for, but it will come with time. what was different for me was the way i see the world, and the way i interacted with it as i went about my vacation.
i went out to the pacific coast with the intent of camping from place to place whilst beach bumming and surfing, and that's exactly what i did. starting in calgary , i drove west into the mountains and stayed a few nights along the way. then stayed in whiterock for a few nights before going accross to the west coast of vancouver island where i spent the remainder of my vacation. i mostly spent my time between Tofino and Ucluelet on long beach and pacific rim close to surf junction. what a great end to my first year of being mentally free of a high control cult/group.
i:
- surfed a lot.
- kayaked a bunch.
- met a lot of down to earth people whose stories and music and memories i will keep.
- i tried to learn about the natural history of whatever place i went to. geological, biological, anthropological.
- i mask and snorkeled whenever the fancy hit me. i saw fish and seals and otters and jelly fish and whales and crabs and all sorts of weird flora and fauna.
- tried Buddhist meditation. (bad atheist! bad! ).
- came really close to a brown bear while walking through an old growth cedar forest. he was only ten feet away when i realized he was there. he had noticed me long before, thankfully. i just spoke calmly to him while backing away evenly. he kind of smirked and kept moving in his direction. i have been around plenty of black bears and some grizzlies, but never ten feet away. jeepers .
- i smoked a bunch of dope for the first time in my life. it was swee - ut!
- went surfing by moonlight. awesome experience.
- lots of beach bonefires and "partying".
- let whatever crazy thoughts came into my head just have their way with my brain.
- i learned how to flint knap arrowheads from some crazy activists called the kyoto rangers. he he...
- day dreamed a lot about how the world previously was, and what it might be in the future.
- and some other stuff i can't remember. ;)
and that was it. mostly it was the way that i interacted with everything. not being a witnoid really heightened my awareness of things around me, and most of all, opened me up to people i would never have hung with had i been a wit. it was a great time. i am determined to live life now like there is but one chance at it. beautiful.
and part of my becoming the person i have become, is in no small part due to this board and everyone here that i have met along the way. i noticed that there was some crazy stuff that went down while i was away, but just remember that you're all helping people like me to become human again. sure it's not always 100% pleasant, but what in the world is? you're all a great bunch, even the ones i disagree with strongly. at least you're here. the way i see it, we're all riding the same wave, and sharing the same hookah, just on different boards and in different styles.
to surfing, dope, apostates, JWD and becoming human again...cheers everyone:
josh