Why Can't We Be Friends

by joelbear 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  joelbear

  I had plenty of friends when I was a kid. Great memories of kick ball, dirt bomb wars, hot wheels, etc.

  I had plenty of friends when I was a teenager. Great memories of cruising Ashley Street in Valdosta, listening to the radio, playing board games.

  I had plenty of friends when I was in my 20's. Partying, football games, the beach, tennis and racquetball.

  I had plenty of friends when I was in my 30's. Discoverying gay life, going to clubs to dance, eating out.

  Now in my 40's I am finding it very hard to make and keep friends and I can't really figure out why. Have any of you had this experience as you have grown older?
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  Billygoat

  I think for me, I've just found my definition of friend is changing. It's not just the girl I work with anymore. It's not just the friend from church I happen to go shopping with or have a cup of coffee with. My definition of friend is a little more DEFINED than it used to be. It's someone I can count on through thick and thin. Someone that will LET me help them when they need help. Someone I can have a disagreement with and know we still love each other. Someone that will share her/his heart with me, trusting me to love them unconditionally. Someone I can share my deepest fears and sorrows with and know it won't be used against me.

  Friends ARE harder to find as I get older, but I think it's by my own choice.
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  xjwms

  Friends are harder to find.

  I met a real nice male friend at an auction and we shared many of the same interests.

  My wife and I were invited to his home for dinner some time ago. His wife really is a great cook

  I have been wanting to return the dinner invitation, for some time now.

  I can't. Got a call this morning, he passed away last night.
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  Es

  I dont have many friends and thats by choice....i have many many acquaintances, but only 3 real friends. When i was younger like 17\18 i had heaps and heaps of friends but like what you say when you get older (not that im that old) but ive noticed my def of friends is def NOT what it used to be. I dont put up with users and people who are only intereseted in themselves thus ive lost many 'friends" but i like it that way. Less hassles

  es
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  FlyingHighNow

  Now in my 40's I am finding it very hard to make and keep friends and I can't really figure out why. Have any of you had this experience as you have grown older?

  I have found it harder in my 40's. After the JW conditional, fair weather friendships, I am reluctant to trust just anyone. But lately I have finally responded to at least one person that has been reaching out to me for a couple of years now. Then, much to my delight, I have found that we have an amazing amount of things in common. She's old enough to be my mother nearly. But we both have very mixed up children and a real common ground. One thing I didn't see before, she is one of my customers, was her deep empathy and kindness. I'm glad I took her up on her offer to spend time together socially.
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  confusedjw

  I'm in my 40's - I'll be your friend.
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  confusedjw

  Hey Joel - did you catch Schilling pitching today against the Yankees?

  your pal,

  Confused
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  Soledad

  I've had no real friends, at any time in my life
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  nilfun

  Now that ditty by WAR is going through my head...

  Call me crazy, but I think the fact that I got *seriously* physically chastised as a child for making "worldly" friends has had lingering effects...
• 

  confusedjw

  Now I'm seriously bummed.

  Soledad - Nilfun. Come over and join me and Joelbear. We'll play cards, watch Family Guy, drink beer, play darts, have a fire, make jokes, talk work & family.

  I'm sorry for your lack of friends