Why Can't We Be Friends (page 2)

nilfun

(Well, I've been trying to convince myself that the statute of limitations is just about up for the childhood schtuff -- but so far it ain't working, LoL...)

Cool, Confusedjw!. I'll have a Mike's Hard Lemonade, thanks

Soledad

Now I'm seriously bummed

Don't be!

I glady accept your offer.......but I must warn you: I'm a Yankees fan!!So you know what's going to happen! Club Me

cruzanheart

I'm almost 50. I'm pickier about my friends and a hell of a lot more ornery. I like the friends I have now -- they're really a choice bunch and I appreciate each and every one of them.

And Chris is still my best friend!

Nina

fairchild

Now in my 40's I am finding it very hard to make and keep friends and I can't really figure out why. Have any of you had this experience as you have grown older?

Yes, I have had the same experience. I just turned 43 last week. I have always been a loner, but the past few years, I have secluded myself so much that it worries me at times. Unlike you, I don't really feel a need for friends. I love being by myself more than anything else. I love listening to my music, writing, looking at the stars, going for walks, working in the garden, I love anything, as long as I can do it by myself. I have a few friends though, but I don't contact them nearly as often as I should. When I'm at work, I long to be home, by myself.. It's gotten so bad that I have been thinking about not working anymore, and trying to find a job which I can do from home. I used to go to the city once a week to do my grocery shopping, but I have come to dread so much being around people that I go to the city once a month now. (and I still dread it). I'd be extremely happy living way far out in the woods all alone.

CoonDawg

I think I understand what you are saying. Many of my "friends" from my younger days were really merely aqauintences. I moved to Nashville about 6 1/2 years ago. I knew no one, save my new wife and her family. I spent about 3 years in that situation...then it was time to meet people. I really only have three close friends...one is still a JW and I have known him nearly all my life. Our friendship is not determined by the elders in his congregation...or even by his occasional self righteous jag...

My other friend...well...he and I spent the better part of 18 months living 5 days a week in the cab of a truck. We spent more time with each other than we did with our wives. He knows more about me than pretty much any other person on the planet.

My 3rd friend...well, we met a the race track...and bonded instantly.

all three of these guys are about as different from one another as they can be. I think that one reason why I have so few friends is because of self analyzation. I came to realize that as a younger person, I wanted friends, yet I wasn't a very good friend to others. In my attempts to change this, I would rather have fewer friends but be able to be genuine and devote the time to them that a real friend should.

Ern

talesin

I came to realize that as a younger person, I wanted friends, yet I wasn't a very good friend to others. In my attempts to change this, I would rather have fewer friends but be able to be genuine and devote the time to them that a real friend should.

Me, too, Ern. Truer words were never spoken. As I have healed from my childhood, and become a better friend, I have found that for the first time in my life, I have real friends who know who I am, as I am now ready to truly share myself with them; a 'chosen family', so to speak.

Joel, when we are in our forties, it's true that there is not as much opportunity to meet new people and get really involved in their lives. Their time is taken up by family, and they are much more settled into an 'inner life', and many who have maintained their friends for decades, aren't really looking for new people in their lives. BUT, it can be done, and my experience has been that the friendships I make as a mature, emotionally healthy person, are much better than the ones I made when I still felt like 'damaged goods'.

I would love to be taking pottery with you, I bet we would have a BLAST!

tal

confusedjw

Nil - Mike's is awesome. I like the red stuff a lot!

Soledad - A Yankee's fan?!?!?!? NOT TO SOUND HARSH, but no wonder you are penniless, lonely, disfunctional, without love, friendless and soulless. Or am I projecting?

~ Lifelong member of Red Sox Nation

Shania

It has been said "we go through our whole life, and just maybe we can count on one hand our closest friends, that's a fact" many of us have acquaintances through out our life, but a true close friend is hard to find.....it has to be a person that has gone through lifes experiences with you and one that would be there through thick or thin..............someones who loves you if you are rich, or poor, a friend who just listens when you need them too, or just sit with you in silence when you need them too.............I have been blessed to of found a friend like this, I hope one day you all can have one, it is a true comfort to have someone like this in you life...............just my thoughts........

prophecor

All's I knows is I can't git that achin' song out mah head from WAR, or the closing credits for Lethal Weapon II. Thanx 2 U, it's working.

Why Can't We Be Friends

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