Low Low Low Self Esteem (page 2)

anewme

JB, this will pass.....but you DO NEED TO DO SOMETHING!

I have suffered from depression since my teens, the typical kind of depression and low self esteem resulting from having an alcoholic mother who successfully drank herself to death by the time I was 19.
Past hurtful events we cannot change. But with alot of wisdom and maturity we can see them in a different light so they no longer hurt us so much.

As children we created a picture of ourselves by how we think our parents or significant persons in our lives viewed us. Just a casual remark by someone significant can affect a childs heart for the rest of its life!

But as adults now we can sympathize with the challenges of adults and if they saw us as less than brilliant
it many times was the result of their being so embroiled in their own problems and hangups they werent our full time nurturers.

So what do we do now as adults, still seeking approval or applause or nurturing?

We must give it to ourselves....

And we must give it to others.....

We must keep trying to undo the harmful works of others who hurt us (whether intentional or unintentionally)

Sometimes it requires GETTING MAD at the past! And shaking the dust off our feet and turning our backs completely on someone who hurt us so callously (as many here have done with the WBTS which hurt them so badly.) We turn around and walk deliberately in the opposite direction! We become creators of a completely different story for our life. We think and act like winners! We get out there and MAKE A HAPPY LIFE HAPPEN!

Sometimes it can take 10 days or longer if we wait for something to happen.

Oooh, I think I just encouraged myself!!!!
Take care JB,
Anewme

minimus

You didn't seem to suffer from low low low self esteem when you sent me the pm.

Doubtfully Yours

(((((Joelbear)))))

DY

badwillie

Joel,

There is a medication available that I find very relaxing. It helps me to feel "centered" too. I notice others using that phrase, which I think is fitting. JW's have low self esteem built right into their minds by their programmers. . Anyway, the medication also helped me to see myself as others do. It allowed me to praise myself, all my fine qualities and achievements (without any guilt, very important). The medication I'm referring to is Marijuana. I started using this regularly about a year after leaving the cult. I know this wonderful plant has helped me to heal myself of the years of psychological abuse I went through growing up as a JW. Anyway, I tried it and found it to be very enlightening.

I don't know how long I will continue this self-prescribed treatment, but for now I'm still benefitting.

Wishing you inner peace,

BW.

Lady Lee

Something you might need to do is see your family doctor. There are some helpful medications that can even out the mood swings and help deal with depression.

After years of being told we weren't good enough it isn't surprising that JWs and ex-JWs suffer from low self-esteem. Then add to that the whole idea that leaving the WTS is some sort of death sentence many wind up feeling they aren't worth anything.

But think about this for a moment. Here we are on a discussion board. Most of us have never met each other. And there is a good chance we never will meet each other except on-line.

Over the last few days there have been many people here who think you are good enough and important enough to care about, to respond to, to send you PMs and to worry about and even pray for. And even if you don't see your value others here do. I know years ago I was where you are. I really thought I was worthless. I had lost everything - religion family, friends and even my children. I had one "worldly" friend. Just one person in the world who cared about me - whether I lived or died.

He told me he could see so much in me that I didn't have a clue about. He told me about the strength he saw in me that I didn't think was there.

So I started doing something I didn't believe in and certainly didn't think it would work. I started telling myself "I am strong. I can do this." It became a meditation for me. Even when I laughed at the idea I would repeat it. Sometimes I had to change it a bit. Simetimes it was more like "Well, Yvon thinks I am strong. He believes in me. And even if I can't trust my own feelings I know I can trust him and his perceptions. So - "Yvon thinks I am strong so maybe I am."

And after a while I could begin to see the strength and value that I had. And believe me there were times when I would say "OK Just one more minute. That's all I can take." and then add one more minute.

I read somewhere that death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Just hang in there one more minute at a time when things get really rough.

And if you trust some of us here that we see some value in your life then remember that just maybe we can see some things in you that you don't yet know about.

Hang in there.

Lee (no longer of the "just one more minute class")

Scully

Hi Joel

I was reading through some of your older posts yesterday, and it really impressed me some of the things you have accomplished in your life.

You earned your bachelor's degree. Way to kick the WTS in the balls!! Good for you!

You have been with the same partner for 16 years. Some straight people can't even stay in a relationship that long!

I loved that you know how many board games you have in your collection.... 125!! And I bet you know how to play every single one.

Most of all, you are honest about who you are and you aren't hiding in the closet the WTS would want you to be in.

You have so much about yourself to be proud of, Joel. You really do. I hope someday you can see yourself for the amazing person you have shown to us here.

ballistic

Joel, when I've been through low points in my life, just knowing that you will not always feel that way, can bring some comfort.

Sunspot

I wish the best for you, Joelbear. One of the greatest ways you can recover is to donate your time to a community cause and start helping others and make them part of your circle of friends. (NOT involving JWs in any way.) It will empower you! Soup kitchens, AIDS healthcare, city projects, etc will all do it. You need a new circle of friends who rely on you, who NEED you. They will give back to you in any way they can, and your happiness will grow, and along with it, self-esteem.

Dearest Joel,

I've been away from this board for a few days because of being tied up with my personal "campaign" against the Quotes lawsuit and the fraudulant Katrina relief efforts of the WTS. I have barely done anything else! (and my house is showing it!) THIS gives ME a sense of purpose and helps me to heal from my 30-year stint in the WTS army.

I didn't realize that you were feeling so "low" and it makes me feel bad. You may be still ticked off at me for a discussion we were involved in a number of weeks ago, where MANY of us got emotional and forgot our manners. I recall at about this same time...you had made some comments that I came right out and told you that didn't SOUND like you, or thee Joel I thought I knew. I guess my hunch was right. I would have rather been wrong on this one.

What Randy said is JUST what the doctor ordered! A few years ago, after leaving the WTS, I felt exactly the same way as you are now. I finally decided to DO something to help someone else (preferably strangers) so that I could feel a sense of "worth" somehow.

I had made plans to volunteer at Thanksgiving at the old age home here in town, and was making plans to go to the place where they serve meals at Christmas to the needy families in the next town. I was SO excited! I just KNEW that I would be meeting new people who were like-minded, giving up their holidays to help others......and also meet some new people who NEEDED a friend or even just a hug.

I then ended up in the hospital with a stroke, which has left me in the position of not being able to speak intelligibly, and with severe impairment on my right side. I was pretty devastated when these holidays rolled around and I then was in need of help myself!!

If you HAVE the physical strength to get OUT and do SOMETHING along the lines that Randy mentioned, I am SURE that it would do a world of good for you! The hardest step is the first one out your front door, Joel. I DO care for you and I DO hope that this, too, shall pass. It's a terrible place to BE in when you feel this way!

Please think about what Randy suggested, and know that I love you......

BEAR hugs coming your way, Annie

hamsterbait

Get Julia Cameron's book "The Artists Way" - AND DO WHAT SHE SUGGESTS.

It is now being used by therapists, because once the issues this book deals with start to resolve, as she said in an interview with the "Shambala Sun" the craziness starts to go away all by itself.

there is no such thing as magic, we heal ourselves naturally.

HB

Carol

((((((((((JoelBear)))))))))) You "shithead"....(That is meant affectionately and not as a slam....so please don't anyone take offense) you had me frightened, I'm a relative newcomer here and have always enjoyed your threads and posts. I guess you probably don't realize how much help you are to others....those of us who have become members of JWD and those of us that lurked for a while!

You've been given a lot of useful suggestions and the only one I can add is.....It is never to late to further your education. You don't stop learning 'till you stop breathing. I went back to school at 47...I know of others a lot older. You are a valuable and wothy person....don't give up. The best revenge to anyone that hurts you is to be happy and be successful at whatever you choose to do.

Hang in there and fall back on all of your friends here!

Low Low Low Self Esteem

Share this