Are birthdays now a "conscience matter" for JWs? (page 4)

Elsewhere

I email my sister and asked her how old my niece is and when she was born. (I intentionally avoided using the word Birthday). She responded, and it is not until almost the middle of next year, so I have awhile to wait before sending anything.

My sister did include an odd quote that I did not really understand what it means in the context of the email: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"

Anyone know what that means? It is a good thing? I responded with a question:

"I'm certainly not trying to push you away in asking... but why are you interacting with me? Are you willing to bend the shunning rules?"

Elsewhere

"Touch nothing unclean."-Isaiah 52:11"

I think the WTS is trying to tell everyone to stay away from the organization since it touched "the unclean thing" known as the UN.

BlackSwan of Memphis

Elsewhere,

I do know that at Last years district convention, there was a talk that included this skit:

A young boy was talking to his father re: a party that was coming up that was being given by another family in the hall.

This party had all the makings of a birthday party, however, they called it something like "a special day" for so and so, but it was most definitely Not a b-day party.

Ok, well, after several scriptures, the boy's father helps the boy to see that it would be wrong to go.

Anyway, shortly after this, I was in service with a pretty interesting car group. We were talking about the convention. I was pretty interested in this whole non-birthday party thing and raised the question. The brother/elder who was driving and his wife stayed dead silent and the topic was dropped before I ever got an answer. I kinda saw them look at each other out of the corner of their eyes.

I couldn't help but think, that the whole thing might also have been in reference to the fact that several JW families have family days to "replace" Christmas.

Hope things work out with your sister.

Jourles

Holy crap! I almost forgot my wife's bday is coming up in a few days. Seeing that this is her first bday since I've been df'd, I wonder how I should go about getting something for her? Any ideas on a gift presentation? Bday card? To be quite honest, this would be the first ever bday gift or anything I have ever done in my life. Although I'm not sure how she would react. I have joked with her in the past saying I would take her out to dinner and tell the waitstaff. But she gets extremely adamant about me not doing such a thing. She's from the same school as me growing up. Bday's were viewed the same as committing apostacy.

Any ideas for what I can do with the number 33? BTW, she is 4 months older than me and I always tease her during these four months saying she is older than dirt knowing that I am sooo much younger than her.

TheListener

Jourles,

If I may offer a suggestion. Take her to a nice dinner and don't mention the b-day to the staff. During the meal give her a nice card that isn't a birthday card but a card that says I love you and always will. That will send her the message that she's special and you're doing your thing while being sensitive to her feelings. IMHO.

rebel8

Jourles, yeah, don't mention it to the wait staff. I've been celebrating bdays for over a decade now, but there's no way in hell I'd want the embarassing/tacky bday singing in public, not to mention the wait staff really hates doing it too.

For me the best thing is a nice dinner and a small gift (flowers or something else)......and a massage to top it off.

damselfly

"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"

I think what your sister means is that it's nice you are taking an interest in your niece, it shows you care about her.

Dams

garybuss

"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"
I don't know what your sister meant by the above quote but if I'da sent to you it would have been my passive way of telling you that you have not been showing very caring behavior. Sending a Witness, or their child a birthday gift is insulting. Not the way to build rapport. It'd be a good way to keep a fight going.
If ya want a relationship with me, you accept me as I am. If you want to change me, I'll show your ass the door. I think I'd have that attitude if I was a Witness. I bet more than a few of them do too. I think I gotta make myself a deal. If I want a relationship with a Christian, I better start liking crosses and I better not kick that cross. Same thing with Witnesses. I better not kick their Watchtower or spit on their beliefs.

steve2

"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"

I think what your sister means is that it's nice you are taking an interest in your niece, it shows you care about her.

Interpretations! Interpretations! Gosh, wouldn't it be neat if you just felt safe enough to ask your sister what she meant? Try it, but ever so gently and respectfully. Who knows, she may not even remember saying it or have thought so little of it, being one of those seemingly profound utterances that ultimately don't mean such.

Elsewhere

I got a response today. I noticed that the little quote was in this email too. I think it is just a tag-line she puts in all of her emails.

Here is what she said this time:

I find it odd that you are asking. Are you "testing" me? You asked a simple question I gave you a simple answer. I hope you're not playing games because that would really irritate me.

What are your thoughts? I have not sent this yet... but I wrote this reply:

No games, no tests. Just hope.
I'm sorry... I did not mean to unnerve you. I’ll leave you alone if you want.

Are birthdays now a "conscience matter" for JWs?

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