Are birthdays now a "conscience matter" for JWs? (page 5)

Elsewhere

bttt This is very depressing... it's got me down.

damselfly

I find it odd that you are asking. Are you "testing" me? You asked a simple question I gave you a simple answer. I hope you're not playing games because that would really irritate me.

No games, no tests. Just hope.
I'm sorry... I did not mean to unnerve you. I’ll leave you alone if you want.

Do you normaly play games with her? That seems strange and a little bitchy to me. Unless she thinks you are going to cause trouble with her daughter and the JWs?

This is what I would write instead.

"My intention was not to unnerve you in anyway. If you would rather not receive correspondence from me in the future just let me know."

It's more assertive and less apologetic. Didn't she email you first about all this anyway? You don't have anything to be sorry about. Apologizing will only make her think you were in the wrong.

Is she an older sister? Would that explain the tone?

Dams

Elsewhere

Do you normaly play games with her?

Never... I never play games with anyone. (Except for Nigerian 419 Scammers )

That seems strange and a little bitchy to me.

She has always been strong willed and tempermental. I mark this response up to thorough Watchtower programming. Just a programmed knee jerk.

Unless she thinks you are going to cause trouble with her daughter and the JWs?

The Watchtower has told her that exJWs are all evil and only out to make trouble. She is responding to what she was taught.

damselfly

This is what I would write instead.
"My intention was not to unnerve you in anyway. If you would rather not receive correspondence from me in the future just let me know."
It's more assertive and less apologetic. Didn't she email you first about all this anyway? You don't have anything to be sorry about. Apologizing will only make her think you were in the wrong.

I stand by this response.

Sorry you're down about all this. You do know that you shouldn't let this get to you so much? I know it's hard, any connect with my family sends me into a tailspin, sometimes it's days before I feel better.

((((((else)))))) <----------- ooooo hugs!! hands where I can see 'em mister!

Dams

Elsewhere

((((((else)))))) <----------- ooooo hugs!! hands where I can see 'em mister!

You do know that you shouldn't let this get to you so much? I know it's hard, any connect with my family sends me into a tailspin, sometimes it's days before I feel better.

I know I should not let it get to me... but it is still hard. If they are going to shun me, I would prefer they just stay away and not tease me with small bits of contact like that.

I do like your response better.

damselfly

I hear you. Either accept me completely the way I am or don't bother at all.

I was told by a grief counselor that it takes 10 years to come to grips with a death. That it takes that long for us to find out how to live without them in our lives. It was really hard for me at first to know that my family would never be the same and I tried to delusion myself that they would not shun me. It wasn't until I made myself say out loud "Things will never be the way the were and you need to move on girl" that I started to heal. It's a very slow and painful process but it's coming.

I am rather proud of that answer.

Dams

cyberguy

Are you kidding? NO, BIRTHDAYS are a DF’ng-offence! At least after the iniital birth!

Please let me explain:Consider what actually happens among JW’s. JW’s DO celebrate birthdays! They celebrate the actual birth of a child, and celebrate its birth via a "shower!" I call it a "birthday shower!" Am I wrong here? I don’t’ believe so! I guess they don’t call it that, but that is what it is, yes?

Please ask yourself, do they give presents? Do they have a dinner celebration? Do they have a cake? Let met see: If it quacks as a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck, it’s probably a duck! Agree? Yes, JW’s do celebrate birthdays, but only the initial birth of the child! If they do it a year after, or anytime subsequently, they've done such and an aggresses act, that they are summarily disfellowshipped from the "Christian Congregation" (their terminology)! How SICK!

Jourles

They celebrate the actual birth of a child, and celebrate its birth via a "shower!" I call it a "birthday shower!" Am I wrong here? I don’t’ believe so! I guess they don’t call it that, but that is what it is, yes?

I've always heard it called a "baby shower," or a "newborn shower." Usually "baby" though.

If you invite everyone in the hall to your newborn's "birthday shower," do not expect anyone showing up. But don't they typically have the showers before the baby is born? I could see some witnesses using that excuse as a technicality in saying that it is not a birthday shower.

"Oh, we're just helping out the parents with some things they might need after the baby comes. You know, a stroller, diapers, clothes, etc."

steve2

But don't they typically have the showers before the baby is born? I could see some witnesses using that excuse as a technicality in saying that it is not a birthday shower.

I so agree with this. When people are forbidden from carrying out their normal heart's desire to celebrate a loved one's birthday, they'll simply look around for the next best way to do it without calling it a birthday. Good on them I say. It shows the resilience of the human spirit in the face of stifling, legalistic proscriptions.

Elsewhere

Well... I don't think my sister is going to reply.

Are birthdays now a "conscience matter" for JWs?

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