HELP!!!!!

findingmyway

My 8-year-old son asked me yesterday if I liked going to the KH. I told him "no, not really." He said that he doesn't really like to go all the time either, but we have to go if we want to get into paradise.

I allow him to go to the KH with my parents when he wants to because he does like to go. I have absolutely no idea how to tell an 8-year-old who has only known Jehovah and the Kingdom Hall that I don't ever want to go back and he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to. He wants to have a relationship with God and if I take away from him the "paradise hope" what do I replace it with. I don't even know what I believe at this point. So how can I to tell him what to believe.

I was raised as a JW, so I know how it feels to have your entire life revolve around faith and religion. I don't want him to be consumed by it, but I also don't want him to lose his desire to serve God.

He considers himself a JW, but I have explained to him that he isn't a JW unless he is baptized as one. Is it sufficient to tell him that choosing a religion is an adult decision?

For now, I want him to enjoy his youth free of persecution for being labeled a JW. We are about to have his first birthday celebration at age 9. I let him make the decision to celebrate his 9th birthday. I know that he is torn between his desire to please me and his desire to please my parents. He found out that I was df'd when my mother told one of his classmate's mother (who was studying the bible with JWs) that I was df'd because the boys constantly begged to spend time together outside of school. His classmate overheard the conversation and told my son. My son was so distraught when he found out that he asked me what in the world did I do to become df'd. I was so upset and disgusted with my mother. My son expressed how he felt that df'ing was wrong and he couldn't understand why they would do that to me.

That was the hardest conversation I have ever had with him, and now I have to have a conversation with him about attending the KH and my not wanting to be a JW. I just have no idea what to say to him. Another thing is that I have to keep my going to church a secret from him because he thinks that everyone who goes to church is serving the devil and hate Jehovah.

Am I making this too complicated?

jwfacts

I have a 13 yo in a similar situation. I explained to her that God is loving and that everyone can have the paradise hope, not just JW's. She has lovely 'worldly' friends at school. I asked her if she thinks God really would want to kill them just because they are not JW's. She quickly realised it was a silly teaching.
My daughter finds it hard with pressure from the grandparents and the cutting comments of JW's that are supposedly trying to encourage her. But she does realise that many people love a creator and believe in a ressurection and is quite satisfied with that.
When she was about 8 she once came to me crying because her study conductor told her I did not believe in paradise so i would not be with her in the new system. As she has gotten older, and sees first hand Witness hypocricy she no longer is worried about those sorts of teachings.

Momofmany

I so understand, but have no ideas for you. I'm going thru something with my 8 yo daughter. I did forbid her from going to the kh with her grandmom. My daughter cried, and said, Jehovah will kill me if I don't go. I asked her where in the bible it says, only JW will inherit the world? It says the meek. She still wants to go to make granny happy, but is ok with not going. As long as god's happy, she ok.

When I left at 18, I should have stayed gone. I went back to "save" my children.

alreadygone

Replace it with Christmas, Easter, Halloween, birthdays, etc. He'll forget all about the "paradise hope". If holidays don't work, get him a dog.

doofdaddy

I'm with Alreadygone

Take him to funparks on Sunday. Out for special dinners and nights on meeting nights and get him to join clubs with normal people. It'll fade fast.

jgnat

Instead of focusing what you might be taking away, why not ADD things to his life? Have some independent bible studies together. Maybe start with the book of John. The following book might be a little young, but I sure enjoyed it! You can explore together.

Every day Wemmicks do the same thing: either stick gold stars or gray dots on one another. The pretty and talented ones always get stars. Others, though, who can do little or who have chipped paint, get ugly dots. Kids will love seeing how Eli the woodcarver helps Punchinello understand how special he is--dots and all. Parents will appreciate the message this story sends to kids: that regardless of what the world thinks, they are precious in God's sight.

findingmyway

He may be o.k. after his very first birthday celebration next Saturday. I got him a membership to the local boys & girls club and he goes everyday after school for aftercare and tutoring. He totally loves it. He told me this morning that the children at school tease him because he goes to the KH. I told him that she shouldn't feel compelled to talk about the KH. In fact, he probably should not because it detracts from his learning. When he's in school, he should only be concerned with making good grades and good behavior. Geez! I just want him to enjoy his childhood!

jwfacts

I agree that filling his life with fun outside the org is the best approach.
I would not worry though if your grandparents take him to meetings. I did some stats on the kids i grew up with. Out of 40 kids, only 20 attended meetings into their 20's. That was despite them mostly having JW parents, and growing up in the 80's when the end was definitely going to be before 2000. With your balancing influence his chance of ending up a JW is quite remote.

carla

Who's child is this? Yours or yours parents? I'm sorry I just don't get it when adult children allow their parents to run not only their life but their grandchilds as well. I also cannot for the life of me understand how anyone can read this forum or any other exjw forum and still allow an innocent child to ever go into a kh. What about the emotional damage? Has the child even been exposed to other religions and why they believe the way they do without the wt glasses on? I would literally have to be dead for my child to ever step foot in one. And then I think I know a few people who would fight tooth and nail to keep my child out of one if a minor. carla

AuntieJane

You need to stand on your own two feet and take the control of your child away from your parents.

How did that happen? I agree with Carla, you must not let them keep this control over your child. How confused

will that make him? Sitting down w. a child's book of REAL Bible stories would be a great start, and taking him

to church with you, as I read in other posts you said you have gone. You are worried about confusing him...but you are

definitely part of the cause of his confusion. Be the parent to him. I say this all in love,

AuntieJane

HELP!!!!!

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