HELP!!!!!

by findingmyway 28 Replies latest jw experiences

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  GoingGoingGone

  One thing that I would strongly urge is that you have to STOP telling him that he's not a JW until he gets baptized, because right now that will only make him want to get baptized ASAP.

  OMG, that just gave me chills..... They are 'encouraging' kids to get baptized younger and younger now. Age 8 or 9 is absolutely within the realm of possibility.

  I agree that you need to get him OUT.... Keep him AWAY from the meetings!!!! The more he hears the rhetoric, the more likely he will be to believe it. Even if he doesn't become a JW, then you run the risk of his going through life with a guilty conscience, thinking that he is not living up to what God wants him to do. Get him away from there....NOW!

  I also think that you should open his mind to other religions, other books written for children. Take him to church. Read to him. Talk about the bible, about evolution, whatever you want! Open his mind, and then he will truly be equipped to make his own decision when he is old enough.

  Wishing you and him all the best!

  GGG
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  findingmyway

  Who's child is this? Yours or yours parents? I'm sorry I just don't get it when adult children allow their parents to run not only their life but their grandchilds as well. I also cannot for the life of me understand how anyone can read this forum or any other exjw forum and still allow an innocent child to ever go into a kh.

  
  

  
  Well, excuse me for being a little confused or lost myself. Just a little background on me. I did not become an exJW by choice. I was df'd and was distraught over it for way too long. However, I have chosen not to return. But understand that this is a gradual and progressive process for me. I only started searching for answers a few months ago. I was raised a JW and this is all I've known for my 30+ years. I have been so controlled all my life and have become so dependent upon my family that I even bought a house 2 blocks away from my parents. So I am trying to find my way (ergo the name) for myself and my son. I am very conscious that my refusing to allow him to go to the KH will forever disconnect him from the only family he's ever known and he will be tormented by thoughts of him being destroyed in Armageddon. I am also very conscious that if I allow him to continue to be taught by my parents that he will be tormented by thoughts of me being destroyed in Armageddon. It is not my desire to confuse my child, but this is all very new to me and the reason why I chose to post on this discussion board was to help facilitate my complete exit, and I am looking to have discussions with people who can relate. I can appreciate that you "just don't get it", but I also do not think that it is necessary to pummel people when they are down. Honesty is great and I welcome honest feedback, but I feel bad enough about my situation without having to read that I am ruining my innocent child.
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  Check_Your_Premises

  I have been so controlled all my life

  Nice response FMW. You are obviously finding your way in one important sense, that is not trusting someone else's judgement more than your own!

  Don't take any crap. Lesson #1.

  CYP
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  jwfacts

  It sounds to me that you are doing the best that you can and you obviously love your son very much.
  I feel for you as i am in the same situation. As well as the 13 yo i also have an 18 year old. He will never be a Witness. I would calmly pop in the odd comment-did you know the witnesses stood in white gowns on a bridge waiting to be flown to heaven- he now thinks its a crack pot religion.
  I think some of the comments are somewhat harsh. I know that the JWs are quite destructive, but disagree that if your son goes to meetings he will be ruined for life. If you show him love, fill his life with nonJW friends and gently reason with him over time he will see truth. JWs have had zero growth for 10 years in developed countries, with access to information he will come to know it is not true. If he is shown there are 2 or more sides to every story he will learn to reason and grow more than many children who spend their lives sitting at home in front of tv.
  Ask him if a loving God would really want to murder 6 billion people, many who have never even seen a bible. Does that sound like a loving religion?
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  Darth Yhwh

  I allow my mother to take my five-year-old son occasionally for "special days". Basically this is just a sleep over at Grandpa’s and Grandma’s where there’s no rules and he gets spoiled with whatever his little heart desires. Well on Saturday and Sunday mornings my mom has book studies, bible studies, meetings, or all of the above. For some time, and against my wife’s better judgement, I didn’t mind if he went along with her. I figured how could he be converted to a JW by attending a book study or a bible study once a month, if even that frequent? He loves his Grandmother so much that he would follow her anywhere.

  Well I noticed that he would bring home little tidbits of information occasionally. He would say something about what Jehovah likes or doesn’t like. Around this same time I had recently discovered the UN scandal and at this point I decided that I didn’t want him going at all.

  I confronted my mother regarding the issue. She was picking him up on a Saturday. If my wife and I don’t specify a time to bring him back by my mother will keep him all day long. Knowing the following Sunday was meeting day I asked her to bring him back on her way to her meeting. Well she decided poke and prod me for my reasoning and after resisting her questioning I simply told her that I didn’t want him around the Kingdom Hall because the WTBTS are false prophets.

  This opened up a whole can of worms between my mother and I but the bottom line for me is that I will not let my son be exposed to anything the WTBTS is pushing. My mother respects my wishes and if she didn’t then her visitation with my son would be ceased.
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  OldSoul

  WOW! I am so glad I don't have any kids. The emotional rollercoaster you guys are put through, wanting to let them spend time with relatives but scared of the brain infection those relatives carry and spread...sheez! My heart goes out to you all.

  (((ex-JWs with kids)))

  OldSoul
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  findingmyway

  "Parents will appreciate the message this story sends to kids: that regardless of what the world thinks, they are precious in God's sight."

  jgnat,

  Thanks for that suggestion. I'm going to pick that book up. That's what children need most anyway -- to feel special...especially from their parents.
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  Seeking Knowledge

  Jgnat, I too thank you for that suggestion, I'm going to look for that book this weekend. My ex takes my son with him on his visitation nites, so I don't have alot of say in the matter. I do take my son to my church every Sunday and talk to him when the times come up about how his dad believes what he believes, and that God loves everyone, not just certain people, etc.

  FMW--you care about your son, just keep reassuring him and encourage him to keep an open mind. Don't let your parents tell YOU what you can & can't do with your child or tell your child anything YOU don't want them to say. Start practicing NO when it comes to them! It'll get easier! Remember, YOU are the parent, not them!

  SK
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  findingmyway

  Take your life back and let him have his in the process..

  That is more profound than you could ever know. That's what I want more than anything. I have always know even before I got baptized at 16 that I would not last in this org. I've always had this deep gut feeling that I would be considered apostate one day. But I just never saw myself here. Now, I finally see the light at the end of this long, dark menacing tunnel.