To anewme: (I don't know if you are still reading this thread...but I hope so and I welcome your comments back)
When I read your comments early in this thread, I had to leave my computer to regain my composure. You attacked by saying:
What are you people talking about????
That is just one idiot JW woman's comment!
But you are taking her misguided and unchristian counsel and slandering the rest of the group like they all propose such mistreatment of wives???
Shame on you for this kind of malicious gossip!
Let me just say that before you make a statement judging the people relating this experience, that you speak WHEN you have your facts straight. That may sound harsh coming from me, as I'm not so much inclined now to get embroiled in debates, but....you hit a raw nerve in me by minimizing and demeaning the seriousness of this report of JW behaviour.
The kind of mental sickness as was described in the topic's experience DOES INDEED exist....I LIVED IT...and even though it may not have been as often as MANY others have gone through, I can still feel the impact of that "smack in the mouth"
and see the stars I saw 20 years ago.
My elder ex-husband and his other elder cronies often joked about wives....."first you have to get a 2x4, smack them over the head and get their attention....". I tried to excuse this behaviour myself by saying typical things like..."if I hadn't made him mad....or...if I hadn't said suchandsuch out of line...or ...if I was just a better wife/JW, then he wouldn't feel like he HAD to 'get me back in line'."
To try and deal with the turmoil this caused in my mind, while trying to be a good elder's wife and a spiritually-strong JW, I told my doctor about this. His words helped me to take the first steps to leaving. He simply said: "No woman deserves to be hit...and no man has the god-given right to hit a woman."
Anewme also said:
To criticize a group for its published doctrines you dont agree with is one thing.
To point to individuals errors and claim the whole group does the same is pure lies
No where in PopeOfEruke's relating of this experience did he say "the whole group does the same".
Yes...not all JW's behave this way or even condone this kind of behaviour....but we cannot turn a blind eye to the drastic amount of people who ARE going through this and accept it, or are told by some elders to accept because of whatever sick reason, or who just feel they can't change it, or have gone through it and got out...like I did. And Yes....it is not just women who experience this kind of abuse as others have related in this thread.
Flyinghighnow says:
Go ahead and smack me in the mouth, dude. You have to sleep sometime. *Evil laughter!*
That has been my motto since I left my ex. but my husband doesn't give me any reason to have to worry about that.
Kimberlee D. Norris...non-JW attorney at law says:
In the course of investigations related to JW abuse litigation, i spoke with SCORES of women who were married to repeat offenders who 'confessed' to elders; the wives were NEVER told, even when they had children in the house the same age/sex as the kids who were victimized. Many of the perps were physically abusive to keep wife in line and keep her mouth shut
Thank you for all your hard work with abuse victims Ms. Norris and for your input into this thread.
If the powers that be would fail to protect other kids from sexual abuse at the hands of repeat offenders, why would they care if wife gets slapped around a bit?
EXACTLY!!!! Well said. And this is just another of many reasons why I have ... and call myself...... Had Enough