by Mulan 32 Replies latest jw friends
A friend of mine read a book about 30 years ago, that said people are basically categorized into two main types. Here's how you define yourself:
When you walk into a room full of people, do you think to yourself "Here I am" or do you say "There you are".
I am definitely a "there you are". I love people and don't expect them to come to me.
Anyone?
I´m of the type "I´m out of here".
I´m of the type "I´m out of here".
That reminds me of a T shirt Dave has. It says "Just pretend I'm not here. That's what I'm doing". He usually avoids get togethers where he doesn't know everyone. Even then, he is a bit uncomfortable. I think he would be happy for life, with just me and a visit from the kids and their families from time to time.
Im neither! Im like ok, will anyone talk to me? Should I go say hi? Unless of course I have had a few beers, I go mingle with everyone!
Hmmm.. I'd love it if there were one of those online personality tests I could take to help determine that (caty, her mom and sister, and I have been fond of them). Of course, personal reflection and pontification is the best way to discover such trueisms.
I would like to think people can be a mixture of the two, leaning more one way or the other depending upon environment, circumstance, mood, etc. I think I am more of a "there you are" type only because I am trying to get over my distaste for ignorant and selfish people. For instance, I just woke up a half hour ago and heard a lawn mower outside so I looked at it was my neighbor's adult son mowing my front lawn (they do it for me because they know I can't do it myself and they've seen my 60 yr. old mother doing it sometimes even though I insist she not do it; my mom is eternally and stubbornly altruistic, but my neighbors don't like seeing her doing it any more than I do), so ANYWAY (thank you Chuck Klosterman) I made it a point to go out and thank him a few times and chat a bit. Now, alternatively, that could also be considered a "here I am" moment, as I had motive and desire to make my thankfulness known so he'd be aware of it, and it makes me feel better about myself when I 'go out of my way' to thank people for their charity.
Good posts today to jumpstart my mind. Thank you Mulan for posting this. :)
Neither, I am actually a painfully shy person and have been all my life. So for me its "I'm not here" People just unfairly interpret this as me being "here I am", which certainly isnt the case.
That reminds me of a T shirt Dave has. It says "Just pretend I'm not here. That's what I'm doing". He usually avoids get togethers where he doesn't know everyone. Even then, he is a bit uncomfortable. I think he would be happy for life, with just me and a visit from the kids and their families from time to time.
That's a bit like Mozz. I have to say though that since we got married, he's gotten a LOT better. He's more comfortable with himself, which makes him more comfortable around strangers. I'm not shy, so I just taught him that if he feels an awkward silence in a conversation to ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. Ask about their job (What do you do?) ask about their spouse (Where did you and Marilyn meet?) ask about their kids (Which one just did the triathalon?) - he's gotten alot more comfy just by doing that. It works like a charm, I swear!
Both.
Either way a dualism is being projected and maintained, and this is how separation is ensured. What if, just what if, there IS no "I" or "you"? Investigate and see if there really is an "I", and if the "I" cannot be found there can be no "you" either - separation then disappears and with that, so do "problems". Life then takes on a completely different tenor.
Depends on who is in the room and why I am there
I'm actually quite shy with strangers. It takes me a while to warm up.
But then I can also go into a room of strangers and speak for over 3 hours non-stop giving a lecture and not feel shy or awkward at all
