by Mulan 32 Replies latest jw friends
I guess I need to clarify this, since almost everyone is saying they are both. Let's pretend you are going to a party where you know everyone. Let's assume you want to be there.
What is your attitude when you walk in? Here I am. ... or .... There you are.
I am shy so if I didn't know them I would be like..."Oh my gawd...can we go now?" Unless I was drinking or something then I wouldn't mind as much!
"What is your attitude when you walk in? Here I am. ... or .... There you are."
There is no "reference point" to do either.
Im def a "there you are" person, I couldnt be someone who just stands there and expects people to come up to me. My sis in law to be however is a "here i am" she turned up 1.5 hours late to our engagement party was drunk and brought friends and was pissed off at me coz i didnt rush up and say hello to her. As she put it she expects the hosts to come up to her!!!!!
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kid-A said,
"Neither, I am actually a painfully shy person and have been all my life. So for me its "I'm not here" People just unfairly interpret this as me being "here I am", which certainly isnt the case."
Well, I would characterize this as declaring yourself as "here I am" in a backhanded or "negative" sort of way - you have a definite sense of existence as an 'egocentric' enitity, but it seeks to avoid being noticed.
I'm a "where's the beer?" person.
Well, I would characterize this as declaring yourself as "here I am" in a backhanded or "negative" sort of way - you have a definite sense of existence as an 'egocentric' enitity, but it seeks to avoid being noticed.
No, I would strongly disagree. Shyness is not a choice, it is a biologically determined predisposition. My inborn trepidation around strangers is not based on any egocentric tendencies. Look around any roomful of infants, you will find "extroverted" children and "introverted" children on a natural continuum. Biologically, we know that extroverts have higher levels of certain neurochemicals such as dopamine, while shy, introverted people have lower endogenous levels.
So kid A, how would you explain it if someone were to change? Do you propose that the chemical levels can shift? For example I was an extremely shy person as an adolescent, but have become more extroverted and outgoing as an adult. To answer the question I would say that I am a here I am, there you are, but lets see if we can connect type person. If I am around people I can connect with we usually don't have to plan anything out...we meet somewhere in the middle, naturally.
So kid A, how would you explain it if someone were to change? Do you propose that the chemical levels can shift?
People can and do change. Inborn biological predispositions however, do not change. Yes, it is possible to force yourself to do almost anything. I can only speak from my own experience having been shy all my life and having known many shy people: "extroverts" very often accuse us of being 'selfish' and self-centered and this is total nonsense. I am not shy out of disdain for others, my shyness is not a choice. Its difficult for extroverts to understand this, and naturally shy people often end up being ostracized for no justifiable reason.
sounds like shy people are easily and often misunderstood.
