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Finally-Free

I started studying in '83, baptized in '84, and by 1992 I decided there was no way in hell I would live in their "new system." I still believed the doctrine but couldn't stand the people. I had decided that if I survived armageddon I'd shoot myself the next day. I stayed in and went through the motions because of my wife and mother.

It wasn't until 3 years ago, when I learned how widespread the sex abuse problem was that I decided I could no longer allow the watchtower society to bring a stench upon my name and good reputation. I did my research and DA'd.

I'm so glad I'm out!

W

BrendaCloutier

My biggest excuse was "It's not the organization, it's the people in it"

When I was 25, I had been "inactive" - basically out for 6-1/2 years. I FINALLY left my violent abusive JW (inactive) husband and went back home to get back on my feet. I went to a couple meetings with my parents, saw old acquaintances, etc. My dad finally confronted me about going back and needing to go before a JC, etc. I told him I wasn't interested in going back because of the way I had been treated, and he threw the above back at me. I had been to several halls in the Vancouver, Portland, area after being shunned because of the family I married into, but once my eyes had been opened to the hypocrasy, I couldn't stomach it any more. I also couldn't stomach going before a JC because of the treatment I endured under my first husband's "loving" hands. So I saved my paycheck, and found an apartment and my parents helped me move out of the house I lived in with husband, and into my apartment. It was during that move they SAW his behavior. My husband was breaking my things, hitting walls, and throwing stuff. My dad confronted him and was ready to beat the shit out of him! Later, my dad actually gave a semblence of an apology thinking my leaving was my fault and won't I consider going to the meetings with them. I told them thank you for seeing and understanding what I went through, but none of the elders would help me then, why should I think they would be forgiving now? And he said he understood. My dad was a pretty cool dude. He also taught me how to swear... by overhearing him cussing out other elders!

Mysterious

When I was younger, perhaps 13 or 14, I remember having doubts that it was "the truth" but justifying it to myself that there was nothing I was missing out on and that even if they were wrong I would have lived a good life...barf.

When I was older it was a case of not being able to rationally wrap my head around how things like their "prophetic interpretation" could possibly be wrong..or how someone who was "annointed" was so sure in their hearts...or just not being able to do research that didnt involve d://watchtower.exe

And perhaps when I finally made my decision that it was bunk and I was going to leave I knew it would only cause problems at home and I waited until the time was right.

mustang

I knew something was wrong and just “put it in neutral” and coasted until I could get my life together. (Maybe coasting isn’t so accurate; towards the end, when I would attend meetings, I sometimes rode my motorcycle, and wore combat boots and an Army jacket :) )

When I got things together, I literally moved over 2000 miles away. Then within 6 months I quit attending meetings.

Thereafter, I really didn’t think about JW’s, right or wrong. “DOING LIFE” was more important.

While what started it was the realization that there was something deeply wrong with them, I just decided they weren’t really RELEVANT. So, I ignored them and stayed out of their way for a couple of DECADES.

6 or 7 years ago I discovered this and its predecessor websites. Then I started putting the wrong things together and sorting out my older thoughts. I can now express them and point to things that are wrong with JW’s w/out suppressing them or suspending thought on the matter.

Mustang

codeblue

well...indoctrinated from youth, we were told we must put up with imperfections to prove we love Jehovah.

That was drilled into our brains from day one...3 times a week.

Finally, seeing many things that just "didnt' add up" I had a little talk with myself. (35 years later after putting up with things one should NEVER put up with)

Since Jehovah is suppose to be our "father"....and I have been a mother, I know I would NEVER expect my child to always prove they love me.

It would be like me telling my child: "you must keep your hand on the hot stove, just to prove you love me???"

I would NEVER do that to my children and I told myself, Jehovah wouldn't expect me either to tolerate painful, emotional experiences, just to prove I love him. It doesn't make sense at all.

Codeblue

mamochan13

It was mainly family. I knew that to doubt would mean loss of family. But when even family turned against me, I really had no excuses anymore. I stayed because I didn't know any different...I kept hoping that the way I was raised was not wrong. I wanted to believe. I knew the elders and the GB were wrong. I fought against it. But everyone I loved was still part of it.

The day I left for good was memorial. I chose not to attend, but made the mistake of allowing my children to go with their (my/extended) family. I paid dearly for that decision. I remember how they came to my home the day after, to attack me and try and force me back. I had done the most horrible thing...

I know now that I did the most wonderful thing by finally having the courage to stay away from memorial. I no longer believed. They had f**d me over so badly, there was no reason why I was still around. Except for family.

I don't want to talk about the rest, its still way too painful. But I lost my family that day. I've made a few inroads over the last while, but it will never be the same. I'll never again have a mother, a sister, an aunt, a brother. I may know my mother because she is sick now, I try to build a friendship. But I lost what really mattered when they came to my house the day after memorial and punished me for not attending.

Sorry...I've gotten off topic here. I haven't told my story on this board, and LL's question just kinda got me going...

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