Elders- what counter balance is there to control the abuse of power by the elder or elders.
Other elders. They police each other, too. At least, they are supposed to.
Say he is unmarried but attracted to a JW wife of non JW. As there is no control by congregation, what defence against does the wife have against that interest- or does she have to just accept that interest.
No. She does not have to accept such interest. In fact, she would be strongly encouraged to knee him in the groin and bloody his nose if he tried something like that. We are talking about abuse of power and authority in the context of religious oppression and repression of freedom of expression. No one would have physical authority over your JW wife.
Why does wife have to have separate meetings within church without husband.
You could go with her, but you would have to sit through JW meetings. I was saying that a non-JW husband would likely not waste his time at 3 meetings per week and riding around out in field service without being able to get out of the car unless they all stopped for a break.
The husband must wonder what the wife is saying to her faith in private and lead to lack of confidence in marriage.
Yes, I wonder what the elders and others in the congregation are saying to my wife that will lead her to a lack of confidence in our marriage. I have instructed the elders not to speak to my wife regarding our relationship and to ask her no questions about me or my activities. They have repeatedly failed to honor this demand.
Confidence in the marriage must be shattered if the wife does report the husband. Can she be trusted by the husband again.
I trust my wife implicitly. I also know her, thoroughly. I know they have deeply ingrained in her a sense of trust in the elders. When they ask her questions, she feels very uncomfortable answering them but she has been "programmed" to do so over many years of indoctrination. I still trust her, I don't fault her because I know where the vile source of the problem actually is.
Sometimes it must be very difficult for the elder to separate a domestic matter which they should not be part of and spiritual matters - there must be many grey areas. How does the elder ensure he is simply not poking into a private domestic situations
Elders don't trouble themselves to be certain they are not prying into things that are none of their business. Our sexual tastes have been asked about, our viewing habits (what programs/movies we watch), reading material, music—you name it.
How can a person kill his wife or children in the name of a simple paragraph in the bible which only talks about eating blood when you place it in context of the other reading in the parapgraph or does it usually not come to that.Is the spouse that unimportant to them when placed against the impotance of their faith.
Again,it is important to remember that their laws are enforced by threat of Disfellowship, which they equate with a "visible" sign of God's displeasure in their choices. When they began to allow blood fractions I don't know of a single Witness whose conscience failed to suddenly feel fine about accepting them. These Witnesses who believed "God would be displeased with them" for accepting fractions the week before, suddenly had no qualms of conscience about accepting fractions. The only explanation is that conscience is not, and never was, the deterrent at all. Fear of expulsion is the deterrent.
To illustrate: A Witness believes a Disfellowshipped person will not be resurrected. Dying in a "disapproved" state is a Witness' worst fear. If a Witness male accepts a blood transfusion for his wife she may die anyway, in a "disapproved" state. He also will become "disapproved" through his action. If he were to die before regaining an "approved" state, he would die believing neither he nor his beloved wife would get a resurrection. So, the punishment of not getting everlasting life is used to batter, bruise, and beat the flock into submission to man-made traditions. This same construct applies to explain why Witnesses comply with anything else the Governing Body makes a law about.
Their interest seems to be their own salvation and interest and ensuring the church expands nothing more. Similary with the problem with blood transfusions their interest lies in ensuring they conform to their faith and by implication their own salvation, as seen by their faith, of themselves rather than helping their family member survive.
You are getting the correct idea. They say they are helping the community by teaching them about the Bible, but they teach very little of the Bible and a whole lot of man-made traditions and unscriptural doctrines. It seems like you are using "faith" and "religion" interchangably. I believe real "faith" is evident independent of a code of laws from a religious group. If that isn't the case, I don't think it is really "faith," it a false claim of faith.
Maybe my thinking is distorted in some way.
No. Your thinking is right on target.
What balance does the non JW husband have against a mischievious wife simply using the elders to get what she wants in the marriage. What confidence can the husband have in the marriage if he knows he can be reported on any matter by a wife.
It depends on the wife. In the Governing Body laws, there is no balance against the spiritual authority of the elders for a JW husband, so there would obviously be none for a non-JW husband. The confidence would have to be in the person (the wife) and from that there might be reason for strong confidence in the marriage (as in my case, but I'm a lucky son-of-a-...gun). But if you marry someone who is a JW and who wants to remain a JW you can expect that the elders/Governing Body may hold sway over her thinking and behavior in many areas.
The elders have NO authority over a non-JW husband, but can heavily influence the success or failure—the delight or misery—of a marriage nonetheless through the exercise of spiritual authority over a JW wife.
Again, I hope this helps.
Respectfully,
OldSoul
