not bitter

searching4?

I was raised from birth as a Jehovah's Witness, but have been disfellowshipped for 13 years. Alot of ex- witnesses are bitter and bad mouth the witnesses, but my experience has left me feeling this way: Being in the "truth" makes some people happy, and they are truly doing what is right in their own heart, and to condemn them for that is wrong. As much as we oppose the witnesses and can see the real trurh, everyone is entitled to believe what they choose, and I truly believe that if someone is doing what is right in their heart and it makes them truly happy, then God will love them for the pureness of their heart. If someone is unhappy as a witness, it should be their decision to leave, and I don't think it's right to try to convince them to make that decision based on our own thoughts or beliefs. That being said, I appreciate the fact that I have the support and understanding of others that have left the "truth." It's true, I have been banished, losing life long friendships and the sense of community and family that comes along with belonging to the congregation. Many times I have contemplated returning to meetings, but it would be wrong to comprimise my own beliefs, thoughts and feelings just to regain the acceptance of former friends in the congregation. I have been left feeling alone, confused about God, religion and church, but I believe in time, all will be made clear to me. I am hoping through this website, to find friends that have been through what I have been through and to find a place to talk with others, share my own thoughts and feelings, but also be a listener and friend to others as well. I don't wish to badmouth, condemn or judge anyone.

sf

Your topic thread is not uncommon here.

Welcome.

sKally

Sheri

Welcome to the board!

Sometimes when you feel that you have been betrayed by what you believed was the "truth" and then start to research and find it is not there are many emotions that come up such as hurt and anger, which takes awhile to release.

If one was allowed the free choice to believe what they felt was acceptable to them and still have the freedom of friendship with others all the while also granting them freedom of thought, then you may find that there would not be so much expressed against witnesses. However, the "Society" preaches freedom of speech but does not practice this nor the freedom to question biblical teachings as presented by WBTS.

Either you are with us or you are against us forcing all members to adhere to this pricinipal, or to be secretive in their support of a loving friendship that is now hidden in fear.

This board is a great site for expressing yourself and also learning from others on scripture teachings, just keep an open mind and you will feel the peace and healing to begin.

Peace & Love

Sheri

Gretchen956

Welcome! Some may come off as bitter, I think that maybe angry is a better word. Anger can be a healthy release for someone overcoming the trauma of leaving the WTS, its a stage of healing. As long as people don't get stuck there I don't mind a little venting. Personally I have been out about 15 years and I left that behind a long time ago for the most part. Certain things will dredge it up a bit, child abuse for example. I agree on allowing people to believe what makes them happy as long as they are aware of potential danger to their families when such a danger exists.

I think this board has some pretty awesome people on it. People who are in all stages of that process and have wonderful insights to read about and even learn some. Some are pretty amusing, and some are a little annoying and most are the friendliest people you will ever meet.

Again, its good to have you here and I hope your experience is a positive one!

Sherry

OldSoul

Welcome!

We don't bite, unless asked politely.

I am still nominally one of Jehovah's Witnesses, but have been inactive for over a year. Disagreeing with teachings and leaving over it is not a Scriptural reason for disfellowshipping. You are welcome to have and share your viewpoints here.

it would be wrong to comprimise my own beliefs, thoughts and feelings just to regain the acceptance of former friends in the congregation.

I have made the identical determination for myself and I do not expect to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses for much longer. When someone asks my beliefs and the reasons, I have this very irritating compulsion to express myself with "great freeness of speech." I am not bitter, although I admit to indignation, pain, and frustration.

Most, but not all, share your wish not to badmouth or condemn anyone. I would say that most here have no problem bad mouthing and condemning policies and procedures that hurt people and tear apart families and friendships, but by and large we separate indignation toward the Organization from feelings toward and about the people.

Post to your heart's content.

Respectfully,
OldSoul

garybuss

Welcome!
First I had to separate "belief" and "behavior".

Narkissos

Welcome searching4?

When I first came across an xJW forum, many years after I had been df'd, my reaction was about the same. Gradually I realised this is a very sensitive issue, and when bitterness occurs there are usually good reasons for it.

This being said, I am all for a non-judgemental attitude -- even toward apparent "bitterness"

Cellist

Hi Searching4?. Personally, I'm not the least bit bitter. We had alot of good friends that we left behind when we left the organization. And a few that turned out to be not so good. We realized that if they were happy there was no point trying to dissatisfy them. We nearly got ourselves df'd by talking to friends who appeared to be dissatisfied. They were actually just complainers, upset that they weren't being promoted as fast as they thought they should be.

Cellist

nowisee

best wishes to you.

may you find help and support and answers. i think it remarkable that you post without bitterness and with such understanding and benevolence.

wanderlustguy

You said you are starting to find out you are bitter...there is something to be said for that. Maybe you are starting to see from reading here there is much more to this that you were led to believe.

Now your journey begins for real, and it's more than you can imagine. I'll enjoy watching you as you go...just remember to keep an open mind, you're about to learn how to learn again!

Welcome!

WLG

not bitter

Share this