Anyone here from New Zealand?

bledback2life

Hey everybody!! *feins a Nick Riviera (a la The Simpsons) accent*

I'm new to these forums. I've been surfing the web for JW resources (the 'anti' and 'ex' sort, of course ) and chanced upon this site.

Just wondering if there's anybody here from New Zealand? (Ok dumb question; sure there are, but I haven't been able to browse through the entire membership database...)

I'm just about to pop back into a lecture, so I'll post a wee background about myself soon.

But here's a brief spiel about myself

I left the fold back in 2001. I found, inter alia, the mind control tactics of the JW hierarchy rather abhorrent, to say the least. The powers that be within the organisation would intimidate you into silence, and any doubts you have will be 'addressed swiftly' - i.e. the Elders Brigade being sent around to your place, trying to ensure that microchip lodged in your brain is still functioning up to Governing Body dictated standards. (Incidentally, it shows you how paranoid and insecure the JW hierarchy is...) Having a naturally inquisitive mind, even from young, the institutional practices, ethics, policies, beliefs and attitudes of the JW organisation eventually drove me out.

Since leaving, a number of JWs have asked me "Why do you wanna leave the fold?", as if my life would end up in tatters now that I'm 'part of the world'. Some added "You should come back; you know you will and want to". Right... My reply was as follows:

"Why would a bird that has been freed from the cage want to fly back in again?"

Ok, more irreverence next time...

Btw, if anyone wants to get hold of me, whether you're a New Zealander or otherwise, I can be reached at [email protected] for correspondence and/or MSN chatting. Peace and until next time.

misspeaches

Hey ya... welcome to the forum. There are some regular NZ posters here and I am sure they will pop their heads in to say hi.

Meanwhile I am just across the ocean in Australia... There is a few of us here too.

Look forward to hearing more from you!

steve2

hey bledback2life, I'm a New Zealander and, among many other labels, an ex-JW. See my profile. If you still want to talk, this is the forum for it!

bledback2life

Hey misspeaches and steve2!

Thanks for your replies. I've read both your profiles.

misspeaches:

Indeed, friendships within the organisation are conditional. While JWs go to great lengths to condemn worldly peer pressure and the superficiality of worldly friendships, they fail to realise that the peer pressure within the organisation to conform and toe the line is actually much more insidious and endemic. Also, the so-called friends disappear from your life like a mist when you're disfellowshipped, or in my case, disassociated myself. (I was never baptised, despite murmurings and pressure all around me, like "brother/sister so-and-so already got baptised when he/she was 15; have you given any thought to doing likewise?" Also: "Why aren't you baptised yet? You were brought up in The Truth." Right... So now I'm a faithless wannabe-goat 'cos I ain't baptised yet. )

I was having a heated debate with my best friend (now ex-best friend...) recently, whom I've known since the age of 2. He now considers me less of a friend simply because I cease to believe in the JW faith. On top of that, I get the blame for 'ruining our friendship'. (Errrrrr no dude, you choose to think less of me just because I have renounced the faith.) So it's not that ex-JWs don't wanna remain friends with their JWs friends; it's the other way around.

I really feel sorry for the people still trapped inside who wanna leave but are too afraid to do so due to the fear of ostracism. And there are many of them... Some continue to lead what WT doctrine would deem 'double lives', and these individuals continue to live in guilt and remorse, much of which is unnecessary and unfounded.

steve2:

Wow - you're a psychologist? You know, I'd always wanted to study psychology. Somehow I ended up doing law instead. That said, I did a paper entitled 'Psychiatry and the Law' last year and found it immensely insightful. (Yeah I know there's a difference between psychiatry and psychology, but there's overlap too...)

There's studies that have been done to show that the rates of depression and mental breakdown among JWs are markedly higher that the rates of the general populace. Do you know about and/or have the details/statistics on this?

I too am agnostic 'cos, like yourself, I find that atheists can at times be as dogmatic and narrow-minded as fundamentalist Christians. Just as it is hard to empirically prove God's existence, so too is it hard to disprove God's existence.

Which part of NZ are you from btw? I'm from Auckland.

under74

Welcome to JWd bledback. Hope you find this place as helpful as I have.

Legolas

Welcome to the board!

Reefton Jack

Welcome Bledback2life.

I'm from NZ, also - however, my alias is not quite a geographical pointer!

Jack.

steve2

There's studies that have been done to show that the rates of depression and mental breakdown among JWs are markedly higher that the rates of the general populace. Do you know about and/or have the details/statistics on this?

Nice to hear from you bledback2life (I love your alias). I enjoyed reading about your discoveries when you started to question the religion. Yes, the JWs are into emotional blackmail big time. Basically, they're now criticising you because you've dared to rub more than one brain cell against another and, lo and behold, the religion doesn't add up at all. The religion's fine if you're not into thinking things through. But it's a disaster for those of us who want to "make sense" of things. And as for all the doctrinal and interpretive flip-flopping over the more than 120 years! If anything characterises the Watchtower Society, it's the arrogant doctrinal flip-flopping and authoritarian tactics to achieve "unity" of belief. I agree with you: Who knows how many JWs are trapped inside because of family and even business connections and to leave is to invite a massive loss. So, in the trapped state, people do what people do: lead double lives. I am never suprised when I hear through the grapevine that JWs in evidently good standing have been caught cheating on their marriage partners or, in other contexts, just trying to have some (legitimate) fun but had the misfortune to get caught. Tip of the ice berg, I'd say!

I should say I do not believe the religion "causes" mental health problems. I have spoken about this on an earlier thread several months ago. I posited several plausible explanations for the observable mental health problems among the rank and file witnesses. Unfortunately, all the research studies I have read have been glaringly flawed in their methodology. Jerry Bergman, a US psychologist and ex-Jw composed some papers several years ago. But, honestly, the man began with the untested assumption that the religion caused mental illness and proceeded to construct an extremely one-eyed account, based largely on andecdotal evidence. Any researcher worth their training knows that because two variables are correlated (religion and mental illness) does not mean there is a causal relationship and that a (as yet unknown) third variable may underlie each.

Unfortunately - again! - when I initially raised these and other issues on this site, some ex-JWs thought I was defending the religion. I wasn't. I just thought that poor research should be identified as such.

Hey, I live in the Wellington region. I have business in Wellington today, but will endeavour later to track down my earlier thread on the topic. Or you could go to my profile page and look at my history of postings - the topic of Mental Health and JWs should be there.

catch you later.

steve2

alw

Welcome - another Aussie - hope you get some healing here!!! alw

Mackin

Hi there Bledback2life,
I'm a kiwi and I live in Auckland like you. and it seems we left the "troof" about the same time.
I don't spend too much time on here these days, but I must say this forum was a vital part in my learning how to live again after leaving the borg. I stopped visiting the site so much after some of the right-wing Americans on here became rather tiresome with their "ra, ra, ra, America is the greatest, we know what's best for everyone in the world" posts. Huge political fights ensued and that's not what I was here for. However it seems most of those posters have gone now.
If you want to get in touch send me a PM and I'll give you my e-mail address

Mackin.

Anyone here from New Zealand?

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