Anyone here from New Zealand?

by bledback2life 13 Replies latest jw experiences

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  skinnyboy

  G'day from me too!
  
  p.s. ya git ya jandles on bra?
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  teela(2)

  Yes in Sunny Gisborne. Did a runner from the cult when I was about 15. Being a small town the ,elders that were around when I was growing up are now dieing off (I'm 43) The rest just shuffle around the streets.
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  bledback2life

  Hey thanks for all the other greetings and welcomes. Shout-outs to my fellow Kiwis, the people across the Tasman, and everyone else out there.

  It's good to see all you ex-JWs exubberant and full-of-life, in direct contrast to the way the JW organisation portrays ex-JWs as depressed, lost souls, endlessly and fruitlessly searching for meaning in life.

  I will endeavour to become active on these forums in due course as there seems to be a wealth of knowledge, experiences and good advice circulating these threads. (I have final year Law exams coming up so between now and mid-Nov you won't be seeing much of me here...)

  Steve2:

  Thanks for your well thought-out exposition on the relationship between religion and mental illness. Indeed, establishing the element of causality can be tenuous at times, as we often come across in the legal cases we discuss in lectures with regards mens rea etc.

  I was thinking more of how the social conventions you have to adhere to within the JW organisation can serve to compound one's sense of guilt/shame, thus resulting in the suppression of one's natural inclinations and hence some form of mental breakdown. (I have very rudimentary knowledge of Freudian/Jungian analysis so you might have to fill me in here.) I'm not sure whether this is a credible/sustainable hypothesis, empirically speaking. Through observation and experience though, I know a good number of JWs who indulge in covert activities who later feel really guilty about things and become chronically depressed because of this tension inside. Moreover, they are forced to keep this to themselves, for fear of being shunned - another cause for grief/anxiety.

  You're right re the constant doctrinal flip-flopping that is masqueraded as New Light. This doctrine of the New Light is nothing more than a cloak explaining inconsistencies in the development of thought, as well as a vehicle for attaining acquiescence and compliance. Mind control is indeed an insidious and powerful tool. Hitler pulled it off remarkably well; the WTBTS is doing just that.
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  steve2

  I was thinking more of how the social conventions you have to adhere to within the JW organisation can serve to compound one's sense of guilt/shame, thus resulting in the suppression of one's natural inclinations and hence some form of mental breakdown.

  Hi bledback2life,

  Yep there do appear to be perhaps more NZ ex-JWs here than who actually surface.

  I appreciate your thoughts on the religion's impact on member's mental health and acknowledge that you were not implying a cause-effect relationship.

  I take the view that the JW religion is simply a more intensified microcosm of wider "secular" society, for want of a better label. "Normal" rules of relating become more intensive in smaller groups and the problems are not so much different in kind but rather frequency and duration because of the closeness. Living in any group incurs "costs" in terms of one's individuality and freedom to think for one self, but has "benefits" as well - and there's the rub.

  We ought not forget that people who convert to the religion do not join as empty vessels, but already have within them their personalities and dispositions. Quite frankly, many people who've already been through the mill mentally and emotionally as non'witnesses, so to speak, seem to be attracted to the JWs message. So, how can we say the Watchtower Society has an even worse impact on them when, even before they joined, some people have been experiencing poor psychological health? And what about the people who swear that the religion actually saved their lives? And what about families whose involvement goes back several generations? It's not uncommon to hear about the huge drop-out rate and, if not that, a growing nominalism among older members. The religion is not 1984 (Orwell), although sometimes its practice may invoke that image.

  None of this ignores or downplays the undoubted adverse effects of the religion's expertise in "making" members feel guilty and afraid in the service of ensuring loyalty to the religion. But lots and lots of religions do this. Here is a truism: Religions do what religions do; namely, keep people in line, on the "right" path, so there are no surprises there.

  Also, getting kicked out need not be an entirely adverse experience which is not to say that you should pretend it's positive when it has not been positive. It's the way we explain our lives to ourselves that matters. I love to say that the day the elders disfellowshipped me was the day I finally grew up and began learning about taking responsibility for my life. Painful, hurtful, but ultimately freeing.

  For too long, I had gone through my childhood, adolescence and young adulthood willingly turning my life over to others, presumably because I believed they had a direct line to Jehovah. But on a more prosaic level, living in human communities depends to a great deal on fitting in, conforming. However, it was the Watchtower's pressuring witnesses to conform that worried me. Am I doing this because I believe it or because I want others to approve of me? Boy, choosing to live my life to please other people is a poor substitute for loiving my own life; but it also has compensations: Getting a pat on the back from others can be really affirming; and if other people make decisions for me, I can stop worrying about needing to do so myself.

  I can see why people stay - I just wish they wouldn't delude themselves - but, hey, that's the nature of religious belief in my view (i.e., an organised delusion to avoid confronting the harsh world).

  No, I wouldn't wish the personal pain of being rejected by the JWs on anyone else. Yet, I can also look back and conclude, I got through it, I did not succumb to emotional blackmail, I did not have to force myself to go through the motions simply to get other people's approval - that was a game the JWs wanted me to play and I didn't want to and I subsequently learned that I could resist the blackmail. When I see the man I have become, I am amazed at my resilience and, honestly, I am a better person for it.

  I fully understand people decrying the treatment they have suffered at the hands of the JWs - even I will do so from time to time. And, yes I do worry about the mental health of the JWs I knew. But not in the sense of the watchtower making them mentally unwell. But rather, their being more vulnerable to the strictures of the religion.

  Hey, it's good to hear from you and when you can, share some more of your experiences, won't you?

  steve2