Hey pale emperor.
Firstly, PLEASE be assured that you are not in this alone. Many, MANY, of us have traveled this path. I say this not to minimise your situation or trivialise your feelings, but rather to assure you that we genuinely empathise and "get it".
I find it helpful to focus on the things you DO have, rather than the things you may think you are missing.
What value do you place on knowing the facts about the society?
How much better do you feel to realise that witnesses indeed fit the very definition of a cult? (Google the identifying signs of a high control cult)
How much better is life free of FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt)
And, that life with just a few good friends, is worth far, far more than life with thousands of fake or conditional friends who are so keen to judge you improperly!
Most importantly, you have a girlfriend who enjoys your company for who YOU are! Enjoy the time with her, and look forward.
Remember too, The windscreen is bigger than the rear-view mirror! Look forward, don't look backward....