First, Hello and Welcome!
I'm so sorry that you have had to ride this roller coaster!
Sadly, all you have described is typical of the way that the Organisation can guilt the JWs with manipulation and fear. You are right - This is not normal behaviour. However, unless the one being manipulated sees it for all it is, there is little chance of you shining a spotlight on the inappropriateness of the cults behaviour.
Cult specialists use the BITE method of describing this:
Behaviour Control
Information Control
Thought Control
Emotional Control
Ask yourself, "does all of this indicate that the Organisation is a high control cult?" If the answer is yes, then this is your chance to look at things in the cold light of day and see whether or not you want to waste your life chasing someone who is bound to such a highly controlling group.
Much love!