A sincere welcome to our wonderful community Red!
It is great to have you here.
It is indeed a nerve wracking experience to post for the first time here. We completely understand.
Please be assured that you are in safe place,
As you go through this part of your journey, just keep your dignity, poise and grace with your family and those inside the cong. They all may not ever understand the TTATT (The Truth about The Truth),and they may cause you issues, BUT make sure that they see you as the calm person.
Don't allow the frustration to play into the society's stereotype of "apostates".
Much love!