Posts by Stirred

73

Will my inactive JW bring our children up as a witness?

by stevepill in

i have been with an in active jw for 6 years, she now wants to marry and have a child, will she want to bring a child up as a witness, she says not but any experiences?

will she start go back once we are married?

(i'm a non jw)

Stirred

Investigating mormons was/is very helpful for me. Found this quote|:

“If we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed.”

– President J. Reuben Clark – Mormon Church (past president)

I understand not being interested in holidays....I am still there but loosening on Thanksgiving, Valentines, etc. She needs to get past fear of reading. So if she finds stuff out she can either prove it right or wrong. Does she want to live in darkness just to retain a similar view with parents?

It is painful to learn many things you thought were true are not. She obviously knows something is wrong with JWs. Her guilt and fear are keeping her from examining her beliefs. Remind her the Bible commends the Bereans (Acts 17:11) for not blindly believing what they were told by men, but by searching the scriptures and proving what they said.

Here are some nice quotes to share when appropriate:

“If we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed.”

– Past President J. Reuben Clark –Mormon Church

"I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant."

H. L. Mencken

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”
― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

“Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it.” George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Some people think that the truth can be hidden with a little cover-up and decoration. But as time goes by, what is true is revealed, and what is fake fades away.

Ismail Haniyeh

By doubting we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.

Peter Abelard

“All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed; Second, it is violently opposed; Third, it is accepted as self-evident.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer

Peace to you

73

Will my inactive JW bring our children up as a witness?

by stevepill in

i have been with an in active jw for 6 years, she now wants to marry and have a child, will she want to bring a child up as a witness, she says not but any experiences?

will she start go back once we are married?

(i'm a non jw)

Stirred

I am a woman, mother, wife of inactive that believes and newly inactive that is trying to free my mind. I don't feel that I will rush back, ever, as I see now how shallow any relations are and all the hypocrisy. Big issue is to compare the shunning, marking and extreme judging with Jesus's words and actions - totally incongruent with WT teachings, customs. I realize her family is in and she may be held to keeping up a fade to have a relationship. It's like death, divorce of nasty kind, terrible estrangement....

I am not without hope and i don't believe she is either. Remind her that if you never join, your kids will be marked and have little to no association as a "weak" family. Would she really want that for her kids? For herself? Does she really think all other kids, people on planet will be killed and that God will not see their heart, problems, etc?

COC book helped me immensely as well as UN issue - went to UN sources and proved to myself beyond statement of "imperfect men" excuse. If Jah was truly leading them, he would not let the organization join for a library card. Once this hit me, I could open to other issue. I am striking hard at the trunk, so to speak, and not worrying about the branches as yet.

If you love her, help her. Show her what love really means, even if you decide not to marry. I just read you also have kids. A divided house with kids being taught different things would be so difficult.

I am fading and inactive and will not go back but am in mid-point where I also cannot celebrate holidays (only interested in thanksgiving and Valentine's really, low-key, family only bday ). The holidays would be issue too. Don't marry until she is clear and can say goodbye to any harmful teachings.

You can point to fact that WT has perhaps some Truth.....but so do many other religions. Like other religions, it also has an underbelly and many untruths. If you can help her, even if you do not marry, at least you tried to help a friend. She may not have many.

22

Seriously, Why Can’t Jehovah’s Witness Women Wear Pants?

by Watchtower-Free in

i found this.

http://jwvictims.org/2014/02/05/seriously-why-cant-jehovahs-witness-women-wear-pants/.

seriously, why cant jehovahs witness women wear pants?.

Stirred

Agreed. When I was studying I was in corporate world and often wore attractive pant suits and came to meetings from work in them. I was eventually called to back room by two elders and I had a hard time with the discussion on my suits. Put me back aa year or more before I would baptize. I concluded I either leave or try to vpbe humble. Is it not too much to ask. Eventually I stopped wearing pant suits for work then left corporate after being baptized....to go to grad school. Bones are there, just in process of changing years of muddled thoughts and feelings.

26

Can we be deleted as an appointed man, or disfellowshipped without meeting in a committee?

by stuckinarut2 in

so, i am genuinely wondering if the above is possible nowdays?.

with the changes in the power structure of co's, the changes in gb directives re never questioning "jehovah's appointed channel etc", i wonder if "disciplne can be given out in absence?.

i know that several elders in our cong have little "discussions" about my apparant slackening off, and would love to take action against me... they have tried to chat with me but that has been shot down.. so i wonder if they could just make a decision without me being present for it?

Stirred

Dear Stuck......

So they have unilaterally removed you from position but not as an active JW. Right? Family and friends may question and this could be opportunity to put it out there that based on your trying to find your way with all the changes, they deleted you fir not unquestioningly accepting and promoting all the new changes..... or however you would explain it so you don't come off as apostate but as a sincere brother who must internally comprehend and believe before you can promote, etc.

Good can come from this. Think of the pressure that will be off you now.

peace

18

All this new JW.org stuff is hurting my brain

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

so i just watched the singing cart video.

i literally cannot describe how i felt watching that.. growing up as a jw was serious business.

we had to take the preaching work seriously, watch our conduct, give a good witness by our actions, and be on our best behaviour to ensure we made it through the great tribulation.. when i was a child, i had dreams of being a cartoonist.

Stirred

Many in 40s 50s still not used to Internet and not really fishing for info. My husband is one of those. He is only of recent years basically navigating to Netflix, news, some email. I still have to bbasically guide him. I showed him YouTube . He still thinks it is the Truth nut we are talking and he is open as long as I dont show him any angry, obviously lying, over the top stuff.

143

Prank call to Governing Body member Anthony Morris III gets through

by Watchtower-Free in

alert..............alert.....breaking news .......... john cedars of jwsurvey has pranked called governing body member anthony morris iii at bethel .

over 2 minutes of pranking .

as i type he is editing the recording into a video .

Stirred

Dissappointed. It shocked my doubting husband who previously liked Cedars videos and more level approach. This prank put him back several steps in credibility. I can see logicalo points on both sides but I do believe a better approach is to focus on always being respectful, logical, mature, expose the fallacies and hypocrisy of other side but don't lower your standards.

143

Prank call to Governing Body member Anthony Morris III gets through

by Watchtower-Free in

alert..............alert.....breaking news .......... john cedars of jwsurvey has pranked called governing body member anthony morris iii at bethel .

over 2 minutes of pranking .

as i type he is editing the recording into a video .

Stirred

Can't wait.

18

Using the tv.jw.org as a wake up tool with my kids

by konceptual99 in

jw
friends

so, i have been badgered recently to do some kind of family study by my wife.

thanks to tv.jw.org i now have a really easy tool to use that not only passes this time but actually makes them question the organisation.. our sessions skipping through the delights of the monthly broadcast have been very interesting.

derision at the wooden delivery of the gb.

Stirred

Interesting points. I want my kids to be critical thinkers, authentic, compassionate. I feel we can learn "pearls" of truth and good lessons from anyone. I am fading and my kids know why. At this point I am still visiting around in new/old town occasionally and reviewing videos, researching, reading.

My kids enjoy the white board animations but are bored with TV. Husband thought there were some relevant points about education - have a plan so not to get into deep in debt.

i think reviewing any of these programs with a critical eye will help kids and I refine our discernment (aka baloney detectors). It will help us to become authentic wherever we wish to visit and attend. I am fading and showing kids that I take commitments serious and don't leave quickly and trash it all without careful checking.

As I/we fade, we are reaffirming what we stand for, our vision and what future will look like in terms of worship, service to community, core beliefs for our Multi-generational viewpoint and security. Have a plan or plan to fail. I think we have had a losing, painful plan and don't want any in my family to repeat our mistakes.

I am not raising fake kids, but ones who are cautious due too past and ones who will be more likely to test and look at evidence. Clearly, TV show shows dim light at best as they keep changing position on rules and conscience matters which is not really food of any kind. GB opinions are still just opinions.

I also watch so that I can honestly reply to friends and family that I am in touch and have good question and for pure curiosity. I can't always take it.

28

making meetings more interesting

by openminded in

jw
friends

do you keep falling asleep during meetings and assemblies?

long and boring home studies?

> here's a way to change all of that.. > > .

Stirred

Thanks for the laugh!

111

Who is your favorite "Apostate"? Who helped you see the truth about "The Truth"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i would have to say that ray franz was the biggest influence for me.. when i first got on this board, a poster by the name of james, a former bethelite and organization heavy, helped me understand a lot of the inner workings in the upper echelons of the society.. .

and of course, farkel's common sense approach was (usually) helpful..

Stirred

Ultimately it was Ray Franz's book that helped me make my mind up that there indeed were problems all the way to the top.

I Read COC but can't seem to get through ISOCF with all the changes and fires I am now managing in my still-awakening and mid-fade plans. Initially though, I stumbled on e-watchman and his original Paradise Cafe where I learned about UN. It made a huge dent and impression but spouse and elder friends tried to reason me back in and I decided to stick it out and try harder while family was dealing with health crisis. I needed faith and friends and with all the crises, I put my trust in J and head down to submit to my spiritual headship as a dutiful wife, sister, etc....it lasted many years...

When lack of love and hypocrisy became truly attacking and damaging to my family, despite doing all I could with balancing service, work, family, I turned to Internet again and found an abundance of shocking info that I previously would not dare to read. JWSurvey, JWfacts and this site also helped....Barbara Anderson, Silent Lambs. It all helps/ed but, at times, it can be overwhelming when compounded with confusion, anger, regret, shame, friends, family, kids, spouse. Breathing and working my way through what seems like a grieving cycle but not exactly.

I am Implementing positive healing, seeking contentment in my authenticity, and restructuring my self-esteem. I find theses topics vital and lacking on all these sites. It is a bit too much negative and depressing sometimes, thus I am working on a better plan to incorporate healthy, upbuilding habits and treatments.

peace