Phaedra

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Posts by Phaedra

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  18

  How long have you been an online "apostate?"

  by Faithful Witness in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really do not like that word (apostate), as used to represent someone who decided to remove themselves, or was removed from the influence of the watchtower... but i am curious.. how long have websites like these been in existence?

  when did this movement begin?.

  personally, how long did it take for you to dare exploring information outside the watchtower publications, about jehovah's witnesses (especially online)?.

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  Phaedra

  Visiting places where xJWs went? Since about '97.

  Phae
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  76

  What is the biggest regret or source of resentment because of being a Jehovahs Witness?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm sure we could all write long paragraphs about this question, but in a few words, what is your biggest regret, or frustration in life due to being a witness?.

  what missed opportunities did it cost you?

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  Phaedra

  A virtual born-in pulled into the collective before I could speak, my whole worldview, mental, and emotional disposition was shaped by this organization. I was never allowed to naturally grow and bloom into the kind, caring, creative me that I was intended to be. When I left in my 20s, it took me years to figure out where the JWs ended and I began.

  Phae
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  37

  Have you noticed the common practice is to knock indivual's self esteem?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in another thread, one of our members made a comment that caught my attention.. i have been trying to put my finger on a practice amongst the org and witnesses in general.... as soon as someone does something well, accomplishes something, or excels at something, the atmosphere effectiveley 'kicks them in the gut' to bring them down.. anything that makes a person grow or develop is blatently discouraged and therefore self esteem is squashed!.

  the constant message telling a witness to be 'humble' is designed to suck any sense of growth or 'betterment' out of a person..... therefore this leaves the average witness to be a blubbering mess of insecurity and instability completely dependant on the organization...kind of like a 'battered-wife' scenario.... .

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  Phaedra

  As soon as someone does something well, accomplishes something, or excels at something, the atmosphere effectiveley 'kicks them in the gut' to bring them down.

  Being a JW assures a lifetime of treadmill walking with a carrot dangling in front of you.

  You are never allowed to be "ok" where you are.

  If you hit a milestone (studying, enrolling in school, pioneering, etc.), someone is there to usher, help, guilt you into, shepherd, and encourage taking the next step.

  I can still hear the haunting echoes of assemblies past, "Are you reaching out, Brothers? Or have you become complacent? Is your service to Jehovah whole-souled?"

  Their math is always A=B: (A) if you're not reaching out to the next level of service, then (b) somehow you are deficient.

  If you are (A) pursuing education for a better job, then (b) you are materialistic.

  The JW culture fosters an atmosphere of never-enough, guilt, and perfectionsim.

  Phae
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  20

  Do you still keep in touch with the Witnesses?

  by Iamallcool in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  Phaedra

  I do. With family in and all...

  Phae
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  16

  Japanese Tea Ceremony

  by jgnat in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when pushed in a discussion this spring, about what i believe now, i likened spirituality to a japanese tea ceremony.

  i believe a good part of our experience and knowing comes from a vast well of the inexpressible.

  try and explain it with words is just not the same.

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  Phaedra

  *sigh*

  Yes, obviously, a highly personal and inarticulate affair. I wish I could share it with more of you.

  jgnat,

  Beautiful share.

  Phae
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  17

  I was a door-to-door magazine salesman...but I didn’t know it!

  by Londo111 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  both jws and former jws dont seem to remember that up until 1990, jws sold magazines, books, and brochures from door to door.

  you went to either the magazine or the literature counter and bought publications that you were going to sell.

  pioneers would get a slight discount.

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  Phaedra

  Yep, LOL. "I'll be happy to leave this set of magazine's for just 50 cents." (I think I remember them being 15 cents each at one time)

  No, we're not peddler's of the good news.

  Phae
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  20

  Russell the Man

  by Farkel in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  he was asked about this association in .

  a: i have heard of the solon society, yes, sir; but i have nothing to do with it.

  the three "girls" were called to the stand.

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  Phaedra

  Interesting read. Much different than the one painted in the green Proclaimer's book.

  Miss your fascinating history posts, Farkel.

  Phae
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  35

  We thought it might be Armageddon when...

  by cultBgone in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  were there ever specific occurrences which you or those around you thought might be the start of "armageddon"?.

  i remember 9/11 being such a day as it happened right as the meeting for field service ended.

  it was the week of the c.o.

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  Phaedra

  [x] 9/11

  I was driving to work when I heard about the second tower being hit and other planes crashing... for a split second I had JW panic that washed over me.

  "It's starting."

  I wanted to turn around and go back home (I should have). Instead I went ahead to work and had the same kind of day most others had; everyone glued to TV screens and Internet trying to figure out WTF was going on.

  Some very scary moments in that day.

  Phae
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  14

  "I no longer want to be 'Bloodguilty'"

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been thinking of a simple one liner to use when challenged as to why i dont seem to be an "active / good" witness.... "i no longer wish to be considered as 'bloodguilty' thanks" and leave it at that.. if said in a dignified, (not in a smart arse way), then i think this may make people see that my desicion is a sound one based on logic and not emotion..... thoughts?.

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  Phaedra

  I was just thinking about the term "bloodguilty" earlier this week, and had one of those epiphany things that made me realize, "well, no wonder I could never get away from GUILT as a JW!"

  I mean, the words are as plain as day: BLOOD GUILTY.

  Don't go out in service and knock on doors = you can be bloodguilty.

  First of all, why is it even MY responsibility to "save" other humans (when a perfectly good God could do so much more than stumble through a 1-minute presentation to sell place the latest issues of WT and Awake!.

  And then I'm in trouble if I don't go recruit? That's putting a lot of responsbility on a child and instilling fear that knows no ends. Catastrophic illustrations of buildings falling on unbelievers who don't become JWs. "If you don't preach, you're responsible."

  Stupid cult.

  Phae
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  103

  That does it ! I'm leaving ! ! !

  by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  leaving the university with my degree!.

  exams are finished and it's just a matter of days before i walk.. i was certainly stressed about doing this.

  i'm older than my classmates and armageddon was sooooo close!

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  Phaedra

  Way to go, Billy!

  Phae