Phaedra

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Posts by Phaedra

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  17

  Happy Thanksgiving

  by skeeter1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'd just like to tell everyone in the us (and world), "happy thanksgiving!".

  in many ways, the posters here understand me better than anyone else on this planet.

  you all have helped me tremendously.

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  Phaedra

  Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

  I will make it a point to focus on those things I am thankful for today.

  I'm so glad this forum is here to connect with kindreds!

  Phae
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  39

  What Made You Finally Wake Up?

  by Tenacious in

  1. social
  2. current

  hello to all.

  i've been on this site for a couple of weeks now posting here and there but have not had the opportunity to read about many of the regular members and what led up to their leaving the wt.. i understand that some of you (i'm part of this club) may not be able to disclose many details and i can appreciate that.. i'd love to hear what was it that finally made you renounce what is and hopefully soon to be "was" the wt.. i truly look forward to having good discussions.. thank you to all for your kind participation.. .

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  Phaedra

  I'm pretty sure reading CoC did it for me. That was way before this forum came into being, and other JW discussions like H2O were too prickly for me to play in.

  Getting the "other side" of the story from one of its own deeply enmeshed members changed the shape of my mind to where it could not go back to its original shape. When I closed the book after reading it the first time, my eyes were opened.

  Phae
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  13

  Just when you think you're past it all...

  by Phaedra in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you"re now the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the tatt, you bought into the whole "you'll never grow older in this system of things...".

  you're watching your parents grow old fully-invested.... your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative....".

  your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like.... just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of jw that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond jwism..... and you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.. may they all find their freedom one day.

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  Phaedra

  All, thanks for your comments.

  cBg! Missed you, too.

  End of the year holidays always get to me.

  Estranged family, even more distanced for living their lives according to the mandates of a few men who get to decide what's important in this high-control relgion. Auxilary pioneering in their 70's, being used up by an organization who only gives back empty promises of living forever in paradise on earth.

  Arg!

  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

  Phae

  P.S. Missfit, it was one of those run-on poetic things I had to let out (o lord, could I have used spelling check!) I don't write much anymore, but maybe I should take up journaling again!
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  13

  Just when you think you're past it all...

  by Phaedra in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you"re now the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the tatt, you bought into the whole "you'll never grow older in this system of things...".

  you're watching your parents grow old fully-invested.... your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative....".

  your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like.... just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of jw that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond jwism..... and you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.. may they all find their freedom one day.

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  Phaedra

  I do love them, Wasanelder, and hope that someday they might be "free".

  Thanks for your thoughts.

  Phae
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  13

  Just when you think you're past it all...

  by Phaedra in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you"re now the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the tatt, you bought into the whole "you'll never grow older in this system of things...".

  you're watching your parents grow old fully-invested.... your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative....".

  your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like.... just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of jw that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond jwism..... and you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.. may they all find their freedom one day.

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  Phaedra

  YOU"RE NOW the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the TATT, you bought into the whole "You'll never grow older in this system of things..."

  You're watching your parents grow old fully-invested...

  Your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative...."

  Your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like...

  Just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of JW that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond JWism....

  And you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.

  May they all find their freedom one day. Until then, by myself I hope. In isolation and lonliness, I hope that they willl someday find freedom, for as loneley as it is...

  May they find freedom from the oppression of their authentic selves.

  Thankful four...

  Phae
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  63

  Your "Things That Make You Go Hmmm?" List

  by FlyingHighNow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'll wager that the number is close to 100 percent.

  what number?

  the number of jws who have lists--lists of things that make them go hmmm or even wha'???

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  Phaedra

  A few:

  • Counting time for endless pointless, wasted hours knocking on doors with nothing to show but expended energy and resources "volunteered".
  • Loving works such as attending to the needs of fellow JWs, shut-ins, visiting elderly, etc. didn't "count" for anything.
  • Categorization of and behaviors around judging other's spirituality. "Weak", "Approved Associate", "Marked", "DF" (Shunned).
  • Outward display (commenting, highlighting WT) more important than secret spirit of heart (loving, humble).
  • "I have to get my time in." Why? For whom? God? Really? Or is it a group of men?
  • The fostering of creativity and development of talents and personal interests frowned upon.
  • The realization of the legalistic nature of the org over the secret person of the heart earnestly trying to love her neighbor, do unto to others, seek peace, and connect with "God".
  • The phrase "frowned upon". Because the JWs do so much of that to guilt, shame, and show their disapproval at every attempt you have at experiencing normalcy in life. It's the social equivalent of "that's wrong, that's bad, and if you do it, you don't get our approval, you rebelous outcast."

  Phae
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  17

  It's True: You Never Really Know What A Person Is Going Through

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  people like robin williams can make you laugh.

  we might think that they have it all but we really know nothing about their demons, their problems, their issues.

  someone might be funny on the outside but be totally depressed from within..

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  Phaedra

  We can only know what is inside of ourselves.

  This is a poignant reminder of the value of compassion and understanding and remembering that everyone is on a personal journey and many are fighting layers and levels of internal challenges with varying degrees of circumstances.

  May all of us healing former JWs find support and wholeness through our interactions with one another and allow each their own steps along the path.

  Phae
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  36

  It's my 25th yr anniversary of freedom

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  approximately 25 yrs ago today, i left the borg forever.. .

  thank you jwn/jwd for helping me heal by listening to me.

  there are not many greater gifts than freedom..

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  Phaedra
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  74

  Robin Williams passes

  by designs in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  don't know quite what to say.

  just stunned at the news.

  comic genius and actor.. share your favorite robin williams moments.. .

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  Phaedra

  You gifted the world so much with your presence, Robin.
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  15

  Have you ever given CoC to a JW to read? Or any other "red pill" book?

  by Captain Obvious in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i recently ordered a copy of coc for my wife.

  she doesn't know it exists, but i'm hoping she's ready to read it.

  it seems to be the best red pill out there.

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  Phaedra

  Have any of you done that before? What was the reaction/result? It seems to be the best red pill out there.

  LOL, it is one of the best red pill books, but contains a very kryptonite-like substance that JWs, who have not picked up the book themselves out of their own will and curiosity, that will immediately react with their cognitive dissonance with flashbacks of WT illustrations showing where that apostate-like material should be properly filed, in the nearest receptical.

  I read COC and was forevever changed. And I had to get it the "long way around" before it was available online as a PDF... I had to request and check it out from the library. And yes, it felt like forbidden fruit that I dare bring into my home with a believing spouse, but I devoured that book in the privacy of my own reading room. When finished, I KNEW the JWs were a sham and I could never go back.

  It's natural to want to share such enlightening stuff with loved ones ~ JWs trapped in... but it's a delicate issue of trust.

  When I thought I KNEW my husband would trip and gape over the same info I read, and be ready to join me hand in hand on our mutual exit into the sunset, I was dismayed that he narily got a paragraph in before declaring the "twisted things" of apostates as he lopped the book back in my direction.

  A close mind snaps shut like an iron gate if it's not ready to be opened.

  Well-written posts printed out on neutral paper and friendly links to ambiguous web pages with good articles likewise tripped the iron gate. Over the span of several years I finally accepted that good intentions weren't enough to keep that iron gate from snapping shut.

  Many battles, large and small, have been fought on our home turf about JWs, their beliefs, failed predictions, and control over people's minds and souls. Somehow we declared a truce and decided "going there" was detrimental to our relationship. We live and let live (of course, he has no qualms about letting me know I'm wrong, although he has his own reservations).

  I still have a copy of COC on my shelf. And I believe he will never touch it. I've learned it's not for me to force him to, although I really, really, really, wish he would just approach it with an open mind.

  Phae