Posts by Phaedra

i've been on this site for a couple of weeks now posting here and there but have not had the opportunity to read about many of the regular members and what led up to their leaving the wt.. i understand that some of you (i'm part of this club) may not be able to disclose many details and i can appreciate that.. i'd love to hear what was it that finally made you renounce what is and hopefully soon to be "was" the wt.. i truly look forward to having good discussions.. thank you to all for your kind participation.. .

Phaedra

I'm pretty sure reading CoC did it for me. That was way before this forum came into being, and other JW discussions like H2O were too prickly for me to play in.

Getting the "other side" of the story from one of its own deeply enmeshed members changed the shape of my mind to where it could not go back to its original shape. When I closed the book after reading it the first time, my eyes were opened.

Phae

13

Just when you think you're past it all...

by Phaedra in

jw
friends

you"re now the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the tatt, you bought into the whole "you'll never grow older in this system of things...".

you're watching your parents grow old fully-invested.... your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative....".

your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like.... just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of jw that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond jwism..... and you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.. may they all find their freedom one day.

Phaedra

All, thanks for your comments.

cBg! Missed you, too.

End of the year holidays always get to me.

Estranged family, even more distanced for living their lives according to the mandates of a few men who get to decide what's important in this high-control relgion. Auxilary pioneering in their 70's, being used up by an organization who only gives back empty promises of living forever in paradise on earth.

Arg!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Phae

P.S. Missfit, it was one of those run-on poetic things I had to let out (o lord, could I have used spelling check!) I don't write much anymore, but maybe I should take up journaling again!

13

Just when you think you're past it all...

by Phaedra in

jw
friends

you"re now the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the tatt, you bought into the whole "you'll never grow older in this system of things...".

you're watching your parents grow old fully-invested.... your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative....".

your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like.... just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of jw that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond jwism..... and you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.. may they all find their freedom one day.

Phaedra

I do love them, Wasanelder, and hope that someday they might be "free".

Thanks for your thoughts.

Phae

13

Just when you think you're past it all...

by Phaedra in

jw
friends

you"re now the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the tatt, you bought into the whole "you'll never grow older in this system of things...".

you're watching your parents grow old fully-invested.... your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative....".

your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like.... just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of jw that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond jwism..... and you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.. may they all find their freedom one day.

Phaedra

YOU"RE NOW the "unbelieving mate" who is now pursuing your degree just before your mid-life crisis hits because until you woke up to the TATT, you bought into the whole "You'll never grow older in this system of things..."

You're watching your parents grow old fully-invested...

Your spouse still invested because "there is no better alternative...."

Your in-laws still won't come over tomorrow (thanksgiviing day) to eat turkey because it might just look like...

Just when you think you're past it all and you feel that little bit of JW that is still there at your core eventhough you think you're beyond JWism....

And you remember and empathize and love your loved ones just a little bit more... because as of yet, they cannot find it in them to distance themselves from somethign you found limiting, closing, dark, and oppressive.

May they all find their freedom one day. Until then, by myself I hope. In isolation and lonliness, I hope that they willl someday find freedom, for as loneley as it is...

May they find freedom from the oppression of their authentic selves.

Thankful four...

Phae

63

Your "Things That Make You Go Hmmm?" List

by FlyingHighNow in

jw
friends

i'll wager that the number is close to 100 percent.

what number?

the number of jws who have lists--lists of things that make them go hmmm or even wha'???

Phaedra

A few:

Counting time for endless pointless, wasted hours knocking on doors with nothing to show but expended energy and resources "volunteered".
Loving works such as attending to the needs of fellow JWs, shut-ins, visiting elderly, etc. didn't "count" for anything.
Categorization of and behaviors around judging other's spirituality. "Weak", "Approved Associate", "Marked", "DF" (Shunned).
Outward display (commenting, highlighting WT) more important than secret spirit of heart (loving, humble).
"I have to get my time in." Why? For whom? God? Really? Or is it a group of men?
The fostering of creativity and development of talents and personal interests frowned upon.
The realization of the legalistic nature of the org over the secret person of the heart earnestly trying to love her neighbor, do unto to others, seek peace, and connect with "God".
The phrase "frowned upon". Because the JWs do so much of that to guilt, shame, and show their disapproval at every attempt you have at experiencing normalcy in life. It's the social equivalent of "that's wrong, that's bad, and if you do it, you don't get our approval, you rebelous outcast."

Phae

17

It's True: You Never Really Know What A Person Is Going Through

by minimus in

jw
friends

people like robin williams can make you laugh.

we might think that they have it all but we really know nothing about their demons, their problems, their issues.

someone might be funny on the outside but be totally depressed from within..

Phaedra

We can only know what is inside of ourselves.

This is a poignant reminder of the value of compassion and understanding and remembering that everyone is on a personal journey and many are fighting layers and levels of internal challenges with varying degrees of circumstances.

May all of us healing former JWs find support and wholeness through our interactions with one another and allow each their own steps along the path.

Phae

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