just a little process writing ... with a some tongue-in-cheekiness tossed in.
i pulled out my copy of this book, which i still have with all the highlighted answers and scriptures written in the margins when i was a tween and teen studying to get baptized.
my whole existence was based on the ideas in this book being real and true and i lived my life accordingly, sacrificing myself to the jehovah's witnesses organization, with nothing to show for it.
My intermittent study for baptism in that book literally spanned three conductors and four years.
In the front cover I wrote some notes. One reads: "Completed February 16, 1989."
The other, a numbered list that was a constant gauge to measure my spiritual health:
5 Valves
http://nyp.st/1mgz4ql.
this group built a place for non other than jesus-heck with those "ancient worthies".. just saying!.
eyeuse2badub.
Miracle Wheat?
the COMING 1975 and GOING
the growing number of the 188,000
i remember going out with other jws after the memorial.. small gatherings.. picnics at some local landmark.. the feeling of closeness, camaraderie, friendship with like minded people you could trust.. haven't experienced it since i left.. really miss that..
Thanks for the insights and sharing. Reading some of the comments here have given me some much-needed perspective. I can appreciate the range of experiences many of us have; as well as the gradients and context that make our stories what they are.
I attribute much of my naive thinking to being raised-in, with a close bunch of friends before I came of age, and a couple of mentors who took me under their wing when my parents separated. We had lots of fun times: picnics, square dancing, a formal, skating, and even talent shows before they clamped down on socializing outside of the KH. I've also been part of very small congregations who are family-like in taking care of one another.
My need greater parents currently reside in a
close-knit congregation, but at the heart of it all, even they were ready to disown me if I signed a letter with my intent of disassociation. So I didn't. I said to my elder father: "Dad, I'm not going to sign anything." He didn't know how to handle that moment, as it was not in his playbook. It's been left like that since, and we are simply all estranged.
After I entered my 20s, I started experiencing the undercurrents of cognitive dissonance. It wasn't until I got online in the mid-90s that I followed my intuition into forbidden territory, and the rest is history. And yes, I know at the core of it all, if you are not speaking the language, you are no longer part of the community. It's all too easy to be judged and cast out for daring to be yourself and express what's really in your heart. You can't. It all has consequences.
The longing to belong... a deep human need. I know all too well.
On a lighter note, will y'all please stop scrapping in my thread. ;)
i remember going out with other jws after the memorial.. small gatherings.. picnics at some local landmark.. the feeling of closeness, camaraderie, friendship with like minded people you could trust.. haven't experienced it since i left.. really miss that..
I remember going out with other JWs after the memorial.
Small gatherings.
Picnics at some local landmark.
The feeling of closeness, camaraderie, friendship with like minded people you could trust.
Haven't experienced it since I left.
Really miss that.
the 2016 yearbook is up on jw.orgbranches of jehovahs witnesses: 89 (was 90)number of lands reporting: 240 (was 239)total congregations: 118016 (was 115416)worldwide memorial attendance: 19,862,763 (was 19,950,019) decreasememorial partakers worldwide: 15,177 (was 14,121 in 2013:13,204) large increasepeak of publishers in kingdom service: 8,220,105 (was 8,201,205) minor increaseaverage publishers preaching each month: 7,987,279 (was 7,867,958)percentage of increase over 2014: 1.5 (was 2.2)total number baptized: 260,273 (was 275,581)average auxiliary pioneer publishers each month: 443,504 (was 635,298) huge decreaseaverage pioneer publishers each month: 1,135,210 (was 1,089,446)total hours spent in field: 1,933,473,727 (was 1,945,487,604) decreaseaverage home bible studies each month: 9,708,968 (was 9,499,933)
Memorial Partakers Worldwide: 15,177 (was 14,121 in 2013:13,204) LARGE INCREASE
The biggest elephant in the room that the organization won't address and JWa don't talk seriously enough about.
WHY?
is there a way to stop the advertisement videos that play when i am reading a thread?.
i don't remember this happening until this afternoon.
there is no 'pause' or 'stop' button to grab so i can silence the video and it slows down my system.. i don't mind static ads but the videos create stress on my computer system - and me!.
rogue advertisers are common on another board I frequent.
the wtbs is changing media from print to online.
if we look at other companies doing the same the obvious buissness model is subscription with a monthly fee people can choose themselves.
the wtbs can continue to offer everything for free, however subscribers might earn a button for social media or somesuch ("wtbs donor").
sorry to say that i was snapped up by born-agains post-jw.. gotta say they were much better than jws, but still had the same problems.. namely, no way to validate what they taught was real.
not to mention all the other problems with christianity.*.
just wanted to share that it's totally natural to keep looking for "truth" after you leave jws until you realize there's no way validate what *any* religion out there teaches.. learn from my cliff notes and save yourself some years of experimenting.. *see cofty's threads for all that.. phaedra.
Sorry to say that I was snapped up by born-agains post-JW.
Gotta say they were much better than JWs, but still had the same problems.
Namely, no way to validate what they taught was real. Not to mention all the other problems with Christianity.*
Just wanted to share that It's totally natural to keep looking for "truth" after you leave JWs until you realize there's no way validate what *any* religion out there teaches.
Learn from my cliff notes and save yourself some years of experimenting.
*see cofty's threads for all that.
Phaedra
just a little process writing ... with a some tongue-in-cheekiness tossed in.
i pulled out my copy of this book, which i still have with all the highlighted answers and scriptures written in the margins when i was a tween and teen studying to get baptized.
my whole existence was based on the ideas in this book being real and true and i lived my life accordingly, sacrificing myself to the jehovah's witnesses organization, with nothing to show for it.
everybody gets one, the gift that stared up at you hopefully from its beautiful wrapping, and then, like a deflated balloon, delivers the worst gift ever.. i'm not talking about the gifts from small children like the "greatest aunt" coffee mug or the red and black lace folding fan.
surely you never would have chosen them for yourself, but it's the thought that counts from small people who love you.. then, there's the what the hell were they thinking gifts.
my mother-in-law has been giving these a lot lately.
