Biblestudent: The thought-stopping I have noticed he says/uses most is basically "Well, I can see the positive change in my life and our family, so despite some things thats may be off this is what I believe..." or something about how actions of a few imperfect men will not taint Jehovah or his beliefs...he has also commented about how jw are the only ones out there preaching, etc.
HeyThere
JoinedPosts by HeyThere
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17
Hey There...An Introduction to a Married IN nonDub (unbaptised pub)
by HeyThere inhey there all, i just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions sich a loving arrangement .
my name may (or may not) be tracee.
i may (or may not) live in texas.
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"we must be ready to obey, even if it doesnt sound reasonable from a human standpoint"
by stuckinarut2 inso its now all clear!.
the reason why that damned wt article several months back said the quote:.
"we may be asked to do something by jehovahs organization, and we should be ready to obey even if it doesnt seem reasonable from a human standpoint or not".
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HeyThere
" I feel very sorry for any remaining JWs who are gullible enough to listen to this garbage . The whole religion is just tragic . That's all I can say."
I couldn't agree more with this. I feel sorry for the smitten witnesses who are so faith-struck they can't even see the chaos in their midst. My own husband is right there with them.
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Hey There...An Introduction to a Married IN nonDub (unbaptised pub)
by HeyThere inhey there all, i just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions sich a loving arrangement .
my name may (or may not) be tracee.
i may (or may not) live in texas.
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HeyThere
Frazzled said: It is so difficult for born-ins to throw off the WBTS shackles until they see the TTATT. It is very unfortunate that he has fallen under their mind control again. The thing that I have learned is that you have to get him back to putting the family first and get him to realise that the uncondititonal love of his family is better than the conditional sense of belonging at the KH.
Yes, I am learning more about how tied in they are. And his family is JW. That will make it more difficult. I am trying to focus much love and not beat up the topic with him about the dubs. He has brought it up a few times but does get emotional. I hope that our unconditonal love will help him out. Thank you Frazzled.
Nonjwspouse said: The WT is insidious and destructive. It creates or exacerbates deep emotional/mental problems with the members. I wish I knew this before the second date with my decades long "physically out but mentally in" husband. I love him but I would not have gone on the second date if I knew this. Life is too short....
Yes, I am jut realizing just how destructive they are. Controlling jerks! I have had the same thoughts, that if I would have known then I would not have gotten involved...I definately know I would have handled things MUCH MUCH MUCH differently. Your right - life is too short.
Lisarose said: I would not share anything more about what you are learning here, it's just going to cause him to revert to cult mode. I would simply ask leading questions designed to get him to think. Don't react one way or another, let him express his honest feelings. Family study would be perfect for this. Ask questions that he may have to look up the answers to. The Watchtower literature is full of nonsense that they published in the past that they try to hide or minimize.
Good advice Lisa, as he definitely goes into cult mode during some convos. What if I left little printouts around the house? I will be asking some serious questions from the sister I study with. I have already began so it will seem normal to her. I mentioned the sex scandals...she had no idea about them! How could she not know anything about them? oh yeah...its a cult!
Abiblestudent said: I s there a way to help him see that those life-changing events are not good reasons to become more active in the WTBTS? He is convinced tht the dubs have helped him become better. That will be very difficult and I will have to maintain that the principles of living in the bible are good - but the cult mentality and lies is not. I am trying to navigate how to do this...not fun! Does your husband love the WTBTS more than you and his children? He loves us more. I believe he loves us more... If he does love you more, how would your husband react if you and all your children went on a three day vacation far from your home and explained why you do not believe that the WTBTS is God's channel for Christians by relating your individiual stories to him, the questions that caused you doubts about the WTBTS, and that you will never return to the WTBTS? He may not be ready for that yet. I have to plant some seeds now. And let them take hold. He has already admitted there are some beliefs that he does question, so there is hope...
jgnat said: IMHO, your husband is going through a mid-life crisis. His extended family is aiding and abetting this dastardly conversion back to the Witnesses. I suspect also he is like my husband in that he dreads his own mortality, his frailty.
I would agree, but it was more like addiction issues that got out of control resulting in some very poor decision making (ahh, mid-life) which led me to seek divorce. When faced with losing his family, he immediately went on the straight and narrow. That led to him getting back into the dubs, I am sure at the urging of his family, months after he was clean and sober.
Sorry I didnt get a chance to respond to everyone, I do appreciate every single one of the responses.
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Hey There...An Introduction to a Married IN nonDub (unbaptised pub)
by HeyThere inhey there all, i just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions sich a loving arrangement .
my name may (or may not) be tracee.
i may (or may not) live in texas.
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HeyThere
First off, thank you all for the kind comments, tips, and support. This whole experience has been...un-nerving.
As I have been uncovering more TTATT, I have also been uncovering just how much of an impact the JW's had in my relationship with my husband.
To clarify the story further, I became pregnant while my husband and I were dating (he was not active at that time). He lived with me. While I was pregnant, he became active again, and shortly after I had the baby he moved out and basically "ended" the relationship with me officially, yet was still over every day to spend time with us. We went places together, etc. I began studying with one of his family members. I finally became fed up with it all, and I began a relationship with another man - afterall, we were not together, he would not even sit with me at meetings, and was just being...weird. Things blew up. I stopped studying. He faded, and a few years later we did end up back together and married.
At the time it was all happening, as a never been a dub, I had no idea what had been going on. I later found out, after the ish hit the fan, that he had been planning to propose. He never told me, one of his "spiritually weak" family members did. But I still didnt fully understand.
During this past year, I have come to uderstand the dynamic at play, and know what took place now. At it is just effed up! When we first came back I didnt know the details of the religion. Now that I know how crooked and deceitful they are, well, it pisses me off. And he is so blind to it.
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Hey There...An Introduction to a Married IN nonDub (unbaptised pub)
by HeyThere inhey there all, i just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions sich a loving arrangement .
my name may (or may not) be tracee.
i may (or may not) live in texas.
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HeyThere
he k.ows i am not
Hey There all, I just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions Sich a loving arrangement
My name may (or may not) be Tracee. I may (or may not) live in Texas. I do have.3 children ages ranging from college age to junior high. My children do not believe the wt. The adult children are absolutely not having anything to do with it and gingerly asked me one day of i believed what they taught. When I said nope, not at all, the relief was clear.
The youngest does attend kh.This child answerz several questions at all meetings, participates in family study, independently prepares for her own studies...and thinks it is a crazy cult that writes for babies )aka like a childs book) This kid is smart. At the next study she is going to make a big dramatic annoumcement about her college plans which will segway into some questions i have.
So point there...my kids are not in the cult. but my husbamd and majority of hos family members are in. my h was inactive for over a decade. I studied with his aumt cor about a year before I walking away. the cult caused many issues in my relationship woth my now h before as we werent married. So much drama...another thread...but ultimately he faded and married me, the worldly girl. But the wt has haunted our marriage, and led to resentment. It has been difficult.
After some life changing events my h wamted us to all bet back to the kh. we have been back for a year. and this ish is crazy
My husbamd is all in. he jas acknowledged he doesnt believe it all but is a born in...it is all he knows. it has only been tje past few months that he has gotten more into it...telling our child they camt have worldly friends, not wanting to go to dinner woth couples who are not jw, going theu our kids toys and tossing unicorns, smurfs, etc.
he knows how i feel for the most part, knows i am not getting baptised, will not recuse blood fpr self or child, etc. in another thread i mentioned how he told his mom that "the devil is at wprk." so thats what i am dealing woth.
i feel so sad fpr him, for things that happened in his life because of thos relovion...for the way tjey almost broke us up!! years before. for the grip they have on him. je gets zo defensive when i talk about things i have learned. he responds with the canned jw responses i have seen all over. amyways, that is me in a nutshell. i apolkgize for all the typos i am on my phone.
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Do You Believe That Jehovah's Witnesses Should Be Outlawed As They Are In Some Countries?
by minimus inor do you believe they have the right to practice their religion, as they do?.
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HeyThere
banning a religion that is weird is a slippery slope....the big picture impact would be concerning. however, being held responcible for fraudulent and/or injurous actions and could been sued over it...possibly even class action....that may help with transparen,y in the future. there are other actions even more powerful than banning.
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Do You Believe That Jehovah's Witnesses Should Be Outlawed As They Are In Some Countries?
by minimus inor do you believe they have the right to practice their religion, as they do?.
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HeyThere
I dont think they should be outlawed, but there absolutely should be reporting and fin@ncial details made public. not just for jw bit all religions. i have seen many crimes take place where a church/religion was used to cover/commit the crime. and the religion leaders and higher rankkng members were the criminals.
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Smoking
by FL_Panthers ini heard that the witnesses used to smoke back in the day.
is this true?
if so, what was the reasoning behind this?.
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HeyThere
marked
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Helsinki Times Article: "The End of the World" - Lengthy interview with many former JWs
by AndersonsInfo inhttp://www.helsinkitimes.fi/finland/finland-news/domestic/10435-the-end-of-the-world.html.
the end of the world.
last autumn, jussi k. began to plan his disassociation from jehovah's witnesses.
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HeyThere
this is just so heartbreaking for me. i feel so sad for the victims of this scam religion. i really hope that this article reaches the hearts of people so the word can spread about this. smh.
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Counting tracts as placements on reports now?!
by stuckinarut2 inahhhhhh......man....... .
so now we have to count all tracts / leaflets / meeting invitations etc as placements on the monthly report slip???.
is this just another method of control or accountability!
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HeyThere
i would love to put something innocently obnoxious on the report...but i only do field stuff with my h, and he turns in the reports.