Posts by OneEyedJoe

35

Hello!

by mikeypants in

jw
friends

wanted to say hello to you all.

i am new to the forum and just wanted to introduce myself.

i was raised a witness, never baptized (yay) and am married to a lovely baptized witness of jehovah.. i had been trying to get back into it due to both our families being j dbs but just never could get it into my heart.

OneEyedJoe

Welcome aboard. When I was at the zone meeting, I was thinking to myself "we're going to see a lot of new members on JWN because of this" and sure enough there have been a few trickling in.

You'll find that there are a number of folks here in a situation similar to yours - dealing with a spouse that's in while you're waking up to TTATT. You're certainly not alone, and there's a lot of support here. You've definitely got a leg up on me, having never been baptized - I was born-in and almost made it, but at a weak, emotional point in my life my father pushed just the right button and I got dunked at 19. One more year and I would've been out of the house and could've had a normal life. Since you were never baptized, you may have better luck waking up your wife and keeping your kids out since she would've had to be a little lacking in faith to marry you in the first place.

Keep learning, and vent your frustration here so you don't blow up on your wife. Go slow in dealing with your wife, don't just dump all you learn on her in one big go. Best of luck to you in your journey!

29

Family Gathering ( or the day also known as Thanksgiving)

by Theredeemer in

jw
friends

every year on a certain thursday in november my family and close witness friends would get together, eat menudo ( hispanic stew) and other foods, watch football and then get dressed to go to the meeting.. sister so and so would bring her famous pie, bro and sister so and so would bring their gross punch and bro and sis so and so would bring mexican sweet bread.

sometimes we would go to "worldy" aunt's and pick up plates of turkey and fixins.. this was every year on a certain date, on a certain thursday in november.. this continued until my mom got alzheimers.

by that time i was married and had my own house.

OneEyedJoe

Yep, it's absolutely indefensible considering their stance on birthdays and christmas. If you sat around (tree or not) giving gifts on christmas day, that's a no-no, but having family over on thanksgiving for a huge meal involving turkey, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes is fine just as long as you don't go around the table saying what you're thankful for.

In my family, we'd use the loophole of doing it on the friday after thanksgiving. But by that logic, celebrating christmas would be fine since it actually falls a couple days after the winter solstice.

26

If You Don't Believe In God Anymore, Do You Still Say God Bless You or Thank God, etc.?

by minimus in

jw
friends

honestly, do you??

and if you do, isn't that hypocritical!.

OneEyedJoe

I never say "god bless you" because of my jw upbringing. I do say god damnit and Jesus Christ ( or if I'm really mad, Jesus f***ing christ) a healthy amount. I don't see it as hypocritical, is just a speech pattern picked up from my environment - no different than an accent or like people in Texas that say ya'll.

That's the same reasoning I used when I was still an indoctrinated jw to excuse saying good luck to someone.

20

Elders: Born-Ins vs Recruits

by breakfast of champions in

this is an unofficial survey.. was curious as to the number of currently serving elders who were born-in and/or raised as jw versus those who were "recruited"( i.e, not born in or raised as jw.).

for instance, right now in the hall i am assigned to:.

2 elders were born-in and/or raised as jws.. 5 were not (recruited as adults).

OneEyedJoe

I don't think we should expect the ratio among elders to deviate from the general ratio among Witnesses. If 66% of Witnesses are born-ins (to make up a number), then 66% of elders should be born-ins. The way the religion works on the mind, a convert can be just as much a captive of the concept as a born-in.

Thinking about it, I actually wouldn't be surprised if converts where more likely to be elders, or atleast become elders early on. Often converts are recruited in a deeply vulnerable state and the cult fills some need in their life. As such, they're likely to "give back" more to it and therefore rise through the ranks pretty quickly. Born-ins on the other hand are more likely to see that being an elder is a thankless job and a huge time-suck. Born-ins are also more likely to be less zealous since the cult doesn't necessarily fill a need in their life, it's just sort of always been there. I've seen one or both of these factors cause born-ins to delay becoming an MS/Elder for many years on several occasions. I know of one that didn't become an elder until his 50s after his kids moved out - he even admitted to me once that he carefully limited his service time in order to avoid appointment. In contrast (anecdotal though it may be) the few male converts that where above the age of 30 that I've known have always risen through the ranks very quickly.

36

A Non J-Dub paying a visit to KingDumb Hall!

by J-DUBBED in

i was thinking of doing a pop-in visit when they're doing their thing(what ever that might be).

to just see what it is that lures and hooks people, like our son.

i was worried there is some sort of subliminal messages in audio or video that start to brain-wash a person.

OneEyedJoe

I don't know but I keep thinking there is a way I can "Fix" this. Wake him out of this bullshit.........

Maybe it's really out of our control. It really f'd up our family..........All from one f'd up Jehovah Wingnut Devil Woman.

There may be yet. At least you're likely to be able to mend things sufficiently that you could get back into communication again and that's the first step. To that end, going to a meeting may help, but you might be better off reaching out first and making ammends for any pain you may have caused, as steve2 said in your other thread. I really reccommend reading Steven Hassan's books - they're written precisely for people in your exact situation. It's a little more difficult for many of us who are in the cult and trying to get ourselves (and spouses/friends/family) out to implement some of Hassan's advice because the strongest strategy is to ask questions and once you're in there are questions that can't be asked. In your case, however, you can provide your son a view from the outside using Hassan's strategies. There's going to be a lot of work involved, as there is no silver bullet, and the first step is to repair the trust in your relationship with your son.

20

Elders: Born-Ins vs Recruits

by breakfast of champions in

this is an unofficial survey.. was curious as to the number of currently serving elders who were born-in and/or raised as jw versus those who were "recruited"( i.e, not born in or raised as jw.).

for instance, right now in the hall i am assigned to:.

2 elders were born-in and/or raised as jws.. 5 were not (recruited as adults).

OneEyedJoe

I don't know for sure about all in my congregation, but any of the elders that are under the age of 60 are born-in. A couple who are 60-80 are recruits but have been in the cult for well over half their lives at this point. Of the non-born ins that I know a little better, all were recruited in their late teens or early 20s.

36

A Non J-Dub paying a visit to KingDumb Hall!

by J-DUBBED in

i was thinking of doing a pop-in visit when they're doing their thing(what ever that might be).

to just see what it is that lures and hooks people, like our son.

i was worried there is some sort of subliminal messages in audio or video that start to brain-wash a person.

OneEyedJoe

As others have said, the love bombing is the biggest thing to be aware of your first time out. If you're aware of what's going to happen, though, it will give you the objectivity to not be sucseptible to it. You'll likely quickly understand how someone in an emotionally vulnerable state could get pulled in.

I would also reccomend that you read this information on the BITE model just so that you can be on the lookout for ways in which they are able to control people. You'll almost certainly see examples of emotional manipulation at every meeting, and the behavioral control will be obvious when you walk in and see a bunch of clean-shaven men in suits and women in dresses (no pants) etc. The information/thought control is a little less frequent but it wouldn't surprise me if you caught some good examples of that too.

Also, while far from the magic mind control ray that you fear, I would also suggest that you not participate in singing the songs (someone will almost certainly offer you a song book), or bowing your head during the prayers. There's a known psychological effect that occurs when you perform small acts of conformity like that and it will cause you to relate to the cultists a little more and you'll lose some of your objectivity. I don't think it's likely that you'll get sucked into the cult, but it's important to stay as detached as possible so that you can recognize and call them on their bulls**t if needed.

All that is probably overkill, but I'm the type that prefers to be over-prepared for things and figured if you asked the question you might be too.

What would you suggest? I have no idea other than to walk in and act like a deaf mute....

It depends on what you're hoping to gain by the visit, but I don't see any reason why the truth (that your son joined up and you thought it was time that you saw what it was all about) would hurt anything.

60

How Do You Answer Someone Who Says JWs Are Not False Prophets?

by minimus in

jw
friends

it used to bother me that people would say that about my well meaning religion.

how do you prove that witnesses are indeed, false prophets?.

OneEyedJoe

If you ask any JW what prophecies the WTS has made / got right then they will invariable say something about predicting 1914.

That was me probably a year ago - though I was also the one asking the question. You don't even have to find old publications, even the latest "God's Kingdom Rules" book admits that in 1914 they believed that JC's presence began in 1874.

60

How Do You Answer Someone Who Says JWs Are Not False Prophets?

by minimus in

jw
friends

it used to bother me that people would say that about my well meaning religion.

how do you prove that witnesses are indeed, false prophets?.

OneEyedJoe

One of the most damning indicators of Watchtower's guilt as a false prophet is their own Reasoning Book

Out of curiosity I looked it up. I found this sentence particularly hilarious -

If any individuals or organizations claim to represent God but decline to use God’s personal name, and make it a practice to express their own opinions on matters, are they measuring up to this important qualification of a true prophet?

By this line of reasoning Jesus was a false prophet! If I remember correctly, there's no recording of him using God's personal name.

And the second half is pretty good too, if an individual makes it a practice to express their own opinions on matters they're a false prophet - Sorta like AMIII at two zone visits, and he even went so far to tell any objectors "take it up with god" and to claim in his concluding prayer that the cousel was not from the branch, but from jesus.

False prophets even by their own convoluted definition

10

The Jonestown Massacre, Remembered

by Londo111 in

jw
friends

http://time.com/3583781/jonestown-massacre/.

it was 36 years ago today.. the watchtower has caused far more deaths due to the blood transfusion ban and the suicides from disfellowshipping.

unfortunately, these deaths are mostly invisible to the public, since they didnat occur at once and in one location.. .

OneEyedJoe

I truly feel that the essence of the WTB&TS boils down to the same kind of control that Jones had.

I don't think there can be any arguing with that.

http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/would-you-take-the-pill-a-simple-facebook-test-has-shocking-results