yea been there. I feel your pain. its basic respect they lack for your privacy and right to parent your own kids.
no help when you need it, when your jumping through hoops, but people sure find faults way later.
so much for being supportive.
but Im the mom, and had someone got in my way and I became aware of it, Id have pounced all over them.
elders were my equal. I chose to view them that way because its a fact. i never was in fear of the elders, and they knew it. they make mistakes too.
if they do not claim to be special, and are fellow Christians , then that means I am every bit if not more exp than they are. and often times I was.
tell them...
My kid ,lay off. my business, mind your own, follow your own advice and don't listen to gossip and stay out of my right to parent. i can read a bible.
isnt it funny, somehow this org thinks its ok to tell adults what to do...
were adults we dont need some other adult to tell us what to do and how to think.
hope all goes well