sidney

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Posts by sidney

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  41

  "We Miss You! (but only at the meetings)"

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it has been a good (7) weeks since i've last attended a kh meeting.

  this weekend, however, the calls of "encouragement" came rolling in.

  on saturday, a brother (actually a very decent, likable, and genuine man) left me a message and said that he misses me at the meetings.

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  sidney

  I completely know what you are going through as I went through it myself. Friends that I thought were friends suddenly would only talk about the meetings and spiritual stuff, where as before we talked about other stuff. They practically ignored my husbands existance ( he had drifted out before me) almost blaming him on me drifting out. The phone calls and visits didn't last long and they soon treated me like a stranger - so much for unconditional love!! and now my oldest friends say they can't see me as often as it might weaken their faith! It does get easier, but I still nearly four years on find it hard and have guilty feelings but I am happy now, which I wasn't when I was in the borg. I am thinking of you as are everyone else. Sidney
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  21

  JW marriages: happy/unhappy

  by starfish422 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been wondering how many jws have gotten married too quickly, without knowing their prospective "mate" well enough, and have ended up really unhappy.

  it always seemed to me that a couple would be dating for, like, 6 or 9 months and get engaged, have a 9 month engagement and be married; often because they bought the "no sex before marriage" garbage.

  i'm sure that there *are* happy jw marriages out there; and certainly being unhappily married isn't the sole property of jws.

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  sidney

  My husband and I got married 11 1/2 years ago when we were witnesses. I feel what we have is special and am glad I haven't slept with any one else. We have grown up together ( we got married when we were just 22) . Although I do know many who haven't been as lucky. I do feel that we weren't given enough trust and freedom and maybe we should have seen a bit of the world before settling down but having said that we are extremely happy but both feel we should have enjoyed our twenties alot more by going out and having fun instead of going out on the service and attending meetings!!We are now doing that with our daughter and are really happy together. Sidney
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  33

  First Christmas

  by yxl1 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when we first left the dubs, we celebrated x-mas pretty much straight away, but had no decorations or tree, and only gave gifts to each other.

  for some reason it just seemed wrong to put up decorations and we continued to celebrate this way for about 5 years.

  we decided to put up decorations when it was my daughters 1st x-mas, and have never looked back.

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  sidney

  Hi, my first christmas was in 1999 we had only been out for a couple of months, we didn't have a tree, just some twigs with lights on, then the following year we went to my husbands parents who did EVERYTHING I was frightened to enjoy it. We now get a real tree which is so pretty and get pressents. But to be honest all I enjoy about it is the pretty lights, I don't enjoy the traditions eg Christmas Dinner I just enjoy a quiet time with my family. Sidney
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  14

  Sometimes they do something caring...

  by jws in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was talking to my dad this weekend and he mentioned that the jws in his congregation and others were planning to rent out a park pavilion and throw a party for a guy to cheer him up because he's been pretty sad after his wife died a few months ago.. first thought was, after hearing all the stories about how cold and heartless the jws can be, here was one example of them seeming to show some genuine concern.. of course, not to let them off the hook entirely, this guy was pretty well known.

  i've been away from it for a while and he wasn't part of our hall so i don't remember his resume all that well, but i'm certain he was an elder and i think has at least a couple of sons who are elders and i think he played a big role in helping run conventions.

  your average non-ms, non-elder, isn't very likely to get a pavilion full of friends.. i give them credit for showing concern, but there are a lot of people who also need help and fall through the cracks.

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  sidney

  In my experience they seem very kind and caring to those who are studying, and those in good standing in the congregation, but the minute someone is drifting they distance themselves only encouraging those ones if they attend the meetings. That is what I experienced. Sidney
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  15

  I did not go to the one day Assembley!!!

  by Singing Man in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  yes verginia, i did not go to the one day assembly today because of these reasons:

  i sang with my friends at a night club till 1:am, and i slept till noon, and just had to set in my sweats and eat hot cakes with sausage gravy along with a cup of coffee.

  and because i find surfing the web much more educational and entertaining than setting on hard seats hearing some cone head asking me "what sort of persons ought you to be blah blah" and waiting in lines to go pee and do #2, and i find it much more fun to plop down in front of my tv and watch cable springer eating potato chips and dip.

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  sidney

  I hated assemblys everyone all being thrown together. I remember a sister asking me if i enjoy assemblys, to which i replied no....... she gasped in horror and said.. but you are with all your brothers and sisters! SO!! I still hated them. Who can listen to the same old thing all day long? Sidney
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  16

  Social anxiety VS. Jw influence

  by NEWWORLDSLACKER in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my question for tonight is this : after leaving the witnesses do you still feel disjointed from society in general ( and i mean the human race not the wt) ?

  im realizing that i still have quite a hard time in social situations where there are more than say 4-5 people .....i tend to get into a dreamy feeling state , and just basically out of it feeling .

  i tend to blame it on being raised a dub .

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  sidney

  I do understand what you are feeling. I feel like I can't talk about stuff before I was out of the "truth" as my new friends would not understand. I feel like I have had two lives one in the "truth" one out. I still don't vote as it feels wrong so I don't talk about politics etc. It is getting easier but still hard to shake off these feelings. Sidney
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  47

  Do You Automatically Believe Everything A Poster Says About Him/Herself?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sometimes, when i read what a poster says, especially a new poster, i don't always assume that they are legitimate.

  do you ever feel this way?

  does it cross your mind that a person is falsely representing himself/herself ??

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  sidney

  no, I am afraid I don't, I am wary and cautious. I am new here and have met a couple of people who seemed odd and not too be trusted but on the whole everyone has been lovely and very supportive so a big THANKS especially Pleasuredome. Sidney
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  29

  LIFE AFTER FEAR

  by Dansk in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when i was a jw i prayed regularly and often and i thanked jehovah in prayer again when events turned out favourably.

  however, sometimes things worked out unfavourably for me or a member of my family but we never blamed jehovah.

  having now been out of watchtower clutches for over seven months i began to realise that jehovah couldnt lose!

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  sidney

  HI Dansk,

  I drifted out late 1999, very hard break but the best thing I did, I am loving the time I can spend with my family, and not dread the weekends anymore, I can be true to myself and not have to lie and make excuses which is what I did nearly every weekend when I was going to the meetings. Sidney x
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  59

  I SEE A BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! (rayzorblade)!!!!!!!!!!!

  by Jesika in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  rayzorblade

  post 2845 of 2845. from 12-jan-03.

  birthday!.

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  sidney

  happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear rayzor!, happy birthday to you!!! Hip-hip-horray, have a great day!!!! Love Sidney x
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  5

  Coping with Hope

  by Tashawaa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  just curious... for those of you that are "out" and you're lucky (oops, bad word) enough to still have some family talk to you, how do you cope with their hope.. namely, the hope they hold out of your returning to the fold.

  do they hint at it, pressure you, etc.

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  sidney

  Hi I am new here, and enjoy reading these posts, it is so nice to know I am not the only one going through the same thing! My family "marked" me for a couple of years after I stopped going to the meetings , I am not Disfellowshipped, but a year after leaving I celebrated Christmas.They keep on saying I should come to my senses. They are upset that I will not even go to the memorial, but my view is all or nothing, and if I went I would give them false hope. They still talk about the meetings etc but I switch off, I have told them the more they nag me about it the further away it pushes me. That seems to have worked so far, I hate hurting them but I need to do what I believe in and that isn't the "truth" . Bye for now, Sidney x