Badger

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Posts by Badger

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  17

  Not Again...And in my backyard...

  by joannadandy in

  1. social
  2. current

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  this is just a small town about 10 minutes north of where i live and go to school...a very sad day indeed around here.... .

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  Badger

  This is just awful.

  I'm thankful I work in an inner city school. Not much bullying when you know that everyone is packing.

  you can be sure that this will lead to another flood of "The Dangers of Public Education" talks and articles
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  31

  Home Schooling

  by hippikon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what are your thoughts on home schooling?

  we had a few in one congregation i was in that practiced home schooling for their kids.

  i kina think home schooling is isolationists and for loons.

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  Badger

  I know I'm reviving a long-lost one here, but I had to add...

  Joanna, agree completely...I grew up in a cong that was the exact same way. I felt some peer pressure, but thank God my parents kept me in school. I was only two of 9 kids near my age who got out with an HS diploma. How's that for irony: going to school to AVOID peer pressure.

  Thing is, none of the students were getting into tough spots at school. They said they wanted to pioneer, but few did. Besides, I saw quitting school as counterproductive to being a effective witness. How can you expect to tackle an effective arguement that requires both research and debating skills when you haven't even attempted ninth grade english?

  In my present congregation, college is allowed by parents, if not actively pushed. Homeschooling can be very effective, mostly because of the one-on-one time it allows. Of course, if you tell a public ed critic that the smallest class size possible has results, they'll reply that you don't need more teachers.

  Now I'm a teacher, and I let it be known that if any parents in the hall keep their kids out of my class, I take it as a personal affront.
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  101

  Elders - Law Enforcers or Loving

  by Jim Dee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  they don't care

  they enforce the rules without compassion, dogma without dignity and punish with glee - it keeps the others in line.

  they have total control without guideline or being accountable to anyone.

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  Badger

  If I have problems or doubts in the congregation, I rarely go to an elder, but instead to a former one. These "Elder Emeriti" usually have seen so many things and tried to blend compassion with counsel that they burn out and step down. One I befreinded kept me from going completely off the deep end and quitting everything during my divorce while the active elders fiddled. I told him my doubts, fears, desires and he never once reported me, acted shocked or shouted me down, even if he did disagree with me.

  Plus, the tone of the elder body can also be penned on the staunchness of the hardliners in a congregation. These are usually the ones who carp to the CO about a progressive and good-hearted shepherd ("or "overly permissive," in thier words). The bottom does influence the top, folks.
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  15

  Is a University or College education still frowned upon today?

  by Richie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after about 8 months of "silence", i took the initiative to visit my daughter, who is an active jw - i wanted to see her, as i bought some good nutritional supplements which i wanted to give to her for her children.

  she was kind but somewhat distant - we embraced each other and then talked a little bit about non-essential things.

  she showed me my granddaughter, who is about 10 months old - very cute and so pretty.

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  Badger

  A Caeveat:

  I'm not repeating Bethel's line on the matter...that's here for public consumption. I was just trying to tell y'all how it's being approached at the congregational level...where the rubber meets the road.
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  15

  Is a University or College education still frowned upon today?

  by Richie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after about 8 months of "silence", i took the initiative to visit my daughter, who is an active jw - i wanted to see her, as i bought some good nutritional supplements which i wanted to give to her for her children.

  she was kind but somewhat distant - we embraced each other and then talked a little bit about non-essential things.

  she showed me my granddaughter, who is about 10 months old - very cute and so pretty.

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  Badger

  It really depends on the climate of the congregation. If you have one with a more liberal spirit (lucky you), Such a statement would be taken as blithely as it should be. Others still dwell in the dark ages.

  Case in point: my home cong was the latter. I broke the tradition of going to college, telling everyone that I wasn't cut out to pioneer and clean floors. My parents didn't like it (but came around), the older ones were apoplectic, and I got the typical "Isn't that gong to test your faith?" (My responses were either, "You've tested my faith plenty," or "No, my faith isn't as fragile as yours."

  At my current congregation, an elder gave me advice as to where to find a good graduate school program in the area. His nephew (an MS) went there.

  Luck of the draw, sometimes.
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  22

  JW strangers say mean things to you at assemblies?

  by jwbot in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  jw's can be rotten, but what about the "brutally honest" jw strangers at assemblies?

  i have had some issues with the general meaness jw's are to people that they do not even know, and are jw's.. example 1: i was maybe 13 years old and i was a fast developer, i had big boobs basically.

  well a dress i had was really nice...my parents would not have let me wear something that was not apprepriate for me, but i guess the dress was low (i didn't think so) and when i was in the bathroom at the assembly at the mirror, a woman just came up to me and was like "you are showing all the assets you have to offer" or something to that effect.

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  Badger

  I was the giver of such an occurrence once to an attendant

  Keep in mind...I've been an attendant, and was trained by my dad. Our ethos?

  • Answer a quest asked by a brother or sister.
  • Be polite and friendly
  • Offer to help
  • If there's something bad happening, see what can be done, but...
  • There's never anything bad enough that needs our intervention.

  We stuck by that code. I went to a convention (not as an attendant) and saw a pack of youths during lunch having fun in a section of the convention center. Nothing remotely untoward, just some 15-18-year-old-level fun: giggling, laughing, clean-enough jokes, light teasing, etc. I was encouraged: Not often do you see young ones enjoying themselves here.

  An attendant (not much older than these...probably on his way to MTS) dropped the hammer:

  "You kids settle down, and go sit with your families!"

  I snapped...but in a cool way.

  " Excuse me, brother ," I said softly, as the youths were stunned by his inflection, " Could I talk to you for a second ?"

  I then led him into the concourse and dressed him down in a stairwell, in a much less calm voice.

  I told him that these were decent kids, who could be involved in a lot worse things than having a good time during lunch together (I let him know what some of those worse things could be). I added that his attitude was not improving their view of the organizational arrangement.

  "Now, brother," I concluded, "Are you going to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and think that you may have run off some young ones for good? People like you are the reason some of those kids leave!"

  I saw him later in the concourse with that stupid "Quiet Please" sign. He avoided eye contact.
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  39

  Did you really believe?

  by barbar in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am interested to know whether jw's or ex jw's on this board really did believe 100%.

  did you have doubts all of the time, did you have some confusion or did you never doubt at all?

  i recognise that most on this board will have had doubts at the end but was this always the case when you were a good dub?

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  Badger

  sure...And I'm hanging on...by a thread.

  I'm right now trying to see if I can work with my doubts and stay in...I'm in a new congregation now that seems to be more receptive, but I still need to play it by ear. If "it" happens again...well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

  Faith in Jehovah? Sure.

  Faith in his people and their rules? Not so fast.
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  57

  Can we forgive our parents??????????

  by LyinEyes in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  guess this kind of goes with the other thread i started about looking at the inner child that is still hurtingk by posting a pic of us when we where kids.. i found this pic of my parents, my mom was just 15,,,,,my dad barely 18, shortly after , they married soon and i was born when my my was just 16. .

  just looking at their faces in this moment in time, in this picture, i can see , that they were just kids too, that they were not ready to face the hardships of starting a family so soon.

  i am not making excuses for the things they both did,,,,,,,,,,, they both did many things to hurt me.

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  Badger

  Jo:

  I thought of that same poem (saw it in Smoke Signals) during this post. I'm glad you recalled it.
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  17

  My parents worst JW saying !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  by run dont walk in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  well, i might have went a little too far this time, but when someone pushes me, i push back, that's just the way i am.. my parents worst saying, and was probaly one of the reasons that i left jw land was ..................."the worst person at the kingdom hall is better than the best person in the world.".

  if i had a dollar for everytime i heard that growing up.. so, i asked my mom if she still felt that way, she said sort of (very carefully), i said so the jw child molesters are still better then people in the world, is that how you really feel ?

  she started to cry, before it was the media just making up stories, now i think she is realizing that "some" of these stories are true.. she asked me why i hate the jw's so much.. i said i don't hate the jw's, i hate the organization and the lies.

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  Badger

  Or the sister of that sentiment: when a witness starts making friends outside, everyone acts surprised when they say, "They're nicer than anyone in the hall!"

  My answer to this shock is:

  "What in the #&$^ are you doing to make them stay?"

  I NEVER get a response.
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  142

  What's the most ridiculous thing you were ever counselled on?

  by micheal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  one of the cornerstones of jw's is counsel.

  they just love to give counsel and many times they will literally make things up just for the sake of counsel.

  i was once counselled for joking around too much.

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  Badger

  Let's go chronolgically:

  Age 10: Helping a classmate with a 4-H project. You think it would have been something like a flag salute or something OBVIOUSLY against teachings, right? Nope...it was helping him show a hog.

  Age 12: Trying to organize a soccer game after a meeting. I even took pains to do it during the week, and not a the meeting.

  Age 13: While out in service, reading the David and Goliath story -- c'mon, you all still like it, too -- to a 6 y.o. sister, I joked to an elderette that I always thought there was a second slingman on the grassy knoll. She, nor her husband, cared for that.The dear young sister, however, laughed.

  Age 14: I was on the debate, mock trial and academic team. My parents said cool. An elder got on the platform and said ALL extracurriculars were wrong. And he should know...he's a dad...(of five kids...all homeschooled...only one still in the org...nice batting average, brother)

  Age 15: poking fun at an obnoxious new elder's hair loss (actually, I probably deserved that one)

  Age 16: Taking the ACT test. I kid you not. (I got a 32)

  Age 17: Writing a letter to the editor of the small town paper praising our H.S. teachers. Didn't say anything about them deserving a raise or anything close to political...just a note of appreciation. Of course, out of 10 kids around my age, I was only one of two still in school

  Age 18: This starts getting stupid. I had a (well-known) crush on a sister who made Cindy Crawford look like Ethel Merman. I went to D.C. for a national debate tournament (Parents said OK, and ignored the elder, now an ex-elder, thanks to his little angels) and brought her back a Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt, per her wish (which was my command). I gave her the shirt at her house, and she invited me to eat with her and her mom. I did, and was NEVER alone or never tried anything -- trust me, if I did, I would be bragging about it. The Elders got on to me for visiting the various Gov't sites, going to the HRC, and seeking the company of the (yeow!) sister so young in life.

  The harder I tried, the worser it got. During pioneering, I was frequently counseled for not placing enough or having enough RVs, for listening to secular music, for organizing a trip to see a hockey game after service, For reading the paper out in service, For trying to show interest in sisters (again, I got NOWHERE with them), for spending too long at a door (the elder in the group had an appointment). I finally took the "loose cannon" approach: "It's a conscience matter, ain't it? Well, my conscience doesn't bother me!"

  They've stopped counselling me, aside from "Try to make more meetings" line. I don't mind that so much...that kind of sounds like I'm wanted.