The key here is honesty. It would be understandable if a marriage mate became upset and felt betrayed if their other half had already come to know TTATT before the marriage but deliberately decided to go through with it anyway. It would be like a man courting a woman for a while and then getting married to her, only to realize later on the big honeymoon night that she actually has an Adam’s apple and the plumbing to go with it. Now don’t you think that poor gentleman would have the right to be a tad disappointed with the “woman” he ended up marrying, which in this case was actually a man, if “she” (he) deliberately failed to come clean on the gender issue BEFORE the marriage? I would not be too happy, to say the least. (Unlike that movie The Crying Game, such a real-life scenario would not really be funny; the reality of it would be too bitter and distasteful a pill to swallow, I’m sure.)
Now, however, if both parties went into the marriage innocently believing in the WTS’ song and dance at the time and then one of them (husband or wife; it doesn’t, of course, matter which one) discovers TTATT afterward, then, well, it would obviously and rightly be understandable, because it wouldn’t be a case of trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the prospective marriage mate and deliberately leading them along just to secure the marriage. (Everyone obviously has the right to, and damn well should, search and find out TTATT, regardless of what kind of relationship or union they find themselves in.) In that case it would be the WTS which both the husband and wife could rightly be upset with and feel betrayed by, because the WTS has knowingly been leading on and misleading folks right from the get-go.
The unfortunate thing, of course, is that when a person comes to know TTATT, it is often too late because they have already found themselves married to someone who is strongly allied with the WTS but hasn’t (at least yet) discovered TTATT. Many, many people are finding themselves in that situation, and, unfortunately, this works to maintain the de facto power of the WTS’ control mechanism; i.e., shut up and believe/obey or we’ll cut you loose from your close loved one. (What’s that called again . . . . oh yah, “blackmail.”) Their shunning thing is a really stupid and evil tactic, but unfortunately it works and they’re getting away with it (at least up to now).
The only thing I can say is, Just be honest to others, but also be true to yourself, . . . . or at least as much as you can do both at the same time.
