Read my last post again. It is up to you now to do something. You're letting anxiety rob you of any energy or strength to act on your own behalf. For one thing, stop wasting energy expecting him to behave any certain way. Just go on and do the things you're invited to do. It's time to love yourself enough to take some of that energy you are putting into being a perfect wife and prepare to take care of you. Once you accept that he is who he is and isn't going to change, it will help you. Do what you have to do as a wife and nothing extra.
FlyingHighNow
JoinedPosts by FlyingHighNow
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45
can an unhappy married woman vent?
by sowhatnow ini continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .
let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].
he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.
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I'd like to share something
by WillowTrees inhttp://youtu.be/vg1nxxju8wg .
i don't know how to insert the video.
i thought i'd share my music here for those that are insterested in ambient stuff.. .
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FlyingHighNow
i'm like.......dude, it's MY studio!
Yeah, it's YOUR studio.
Do you make dub step, too? I love good dubstep.
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I'd like to share something
by WillowTrees inhttp://youtu.be/vg1nxxju8wg .
i don't know how to insert the video.
i thought i'd share my music here for those that are insterested in ambient stuff.. .
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FlyingHighNow
Very new age, trippy.
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I'd like to share something
by WillowTrees inhttp://youtu.be/vg1nxxju8wg .
i don't know how to insert the video.
i thought i'd share my music here for those that are insterested in ambient stuff.. .
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51
Your favourite dog breed ...?
by LoveUniHateExams inin an earlier thread, i mentioned that i wasn't a particularly doggy person but that my parents got a husky last year that i've come to regard as a kind of brother.. huskies superficially resemble wolves and for me it's been fun to compare and contrast husky and wolf behaviour.
huskies howl but rarely bark, and seem to have a strong prey drive and a strong pack instinct - a nod to their wild cousins.
this is why i love huskies, i think.. do you have a favourite dog breed and why?.
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FlyingHighNow
I like terriers and toy poodles. German shepherds are big sweety pies, but they shed hair.
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45
can an unhappy married woman vent?
by sowhatnow ini continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .
let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].
he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.
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FlyingHighNow
now im running out of strength, i dont have it in me physically to work a 40 hour work week.
It's difficult to find a 40 hour work week anyway, unless you can do basic factory work or call center work. If there is a Costco near you, consider applying for CDS, the company Club Demonstration Services. CDSJobs.com. It is part time, but pays much better than minimum wage. The work is not hard. There are people in their 70s and 80s doing it. It's about preparing samples to talk about and serve to people, or talking about a coffee maker or vacuum sealer, etc. There is no handling of cash or the need to be lightening fast. It's a form of marketing, really, making up your own infommercial everyday.
I have been where you are and I can tell you that if there is no hope to improve things with your husband--if you want to leave and be on your own, I have some tips for you. You don't have to follow any of my suggestions. They are only tips. The alanon tip comes from a friend whose husband was an addict/alcoholic.
1. Eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep.
2. Get some counseling or self help for anxiety. Anxiety can rob you of any energy and/or zest for life. It can make you so sick you can't function, emotionally, mentally or physically. Many current and ex jws suffer with it. They think it is depression, but once they learn to cope with it and control it, magically, the depression is a thing of the past. It's something to do for yourself that can take a lot of weight off you, so your load is much lighter. Consider Alanon for you. Your husband won't do AA, but you can get help for you.
3. Get enrolled in some kind of schooling or job training BEFORE you leave. 4. Get a job and save some money, BEFORE you leave. Then you will have money to pay for deposits and rent, etc.
4. Work on your personal credit score.
5. Remember that you are not alone. Many couples of your age and marriage duration are more like friends or room mates, with a heavy obligation not to date. It's time to take care of your mundane things you already do, but then concentrate on you and what makes life fulfilling for you. YOU, not you as part of a marriage or dating couple, are important.
6. On the subject of future dating. Dating is not simple. It is a thing that can super complicate your life. Getting on your feet, taking care of you and getting all of your ions back in sync, first, may open the way someday for divorce and moving on to a new chapter in your life and who knows, maybe meeting a nice fellow to have some romance with.
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45
can an unhappy married woman vent?
by sowhatnow ini continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .
let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].
he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.
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FlyingHighNow
At 52 your life is not over. I am 56 and my life is not over. Your husband can't keep you from doing nice things for people if you can use all your faculties and drive a car. You can be charming and pleasant, while being assertive.
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45
can an unhappy married woman vent?
by sowhatnow ini continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .
let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].
he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.
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FlyingHighNow
well , now im going to be out of his hair so he can drink his beer in the house instead of out in the garage. and watch his rated R man movies.
Sounds here like he doesn't drink beer in the house when you are there, but rather he drinks in the garage. Sounds here like he doesn't watch his rated R man movies when you are home. Sounds to me like you do get your way some of the time.
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Just stopped by to say hello
by stillajwexelder inmust be two years since i was on the board.
hope all are well.
i still go to the odd meeting.
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FlyingHighNow
Hello, Stilla. Checked in and found your thread. I go weeks without posting. So many of the originals and earlier posters are gone now. I miss the excitement of the older times when JWD was really hopping. Good to bump into you here. I see you on facebook, so I had no idea you hadn't posted here for two years. Grand to hear you are doing less at the KH. Big hugs to one of my favorite posters.
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Elders and priests what 's the difference?
by sparrowdown inis being a "good" elder the same as being a "good" catholic priest?.
is there any difference between representing the rcc and representing that other bastion of child abuse the wt?.
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FlyingHighNow
The level of education and training is vastly different.