Divergent: Sorry to be so blunt, but you only have yourself to blame if you realize something is wrong butallow your cognitive dissonance to kick in. If you are confronted with facts which are reported by reliable sources which are hard to dispute and deny, and you choose to dismiss these as "apostate lies" rather than looking at these from an objective point of view, it's your fault and you deserve the consequences of willful ignorance!
Sorry to be so blunt, Divergent, but YOU are part of the problem.
Adopting a "blame the victim" attitude is not going to help anybody but yourself. Your post reveals that you have no understanding of the factors that are at play in 1.) a cult and 2.) an abusive relationship.
If you are interested in expanding your knowledge base, it would be good for you to spend some time researching the power dynamics in both 1.) cults and 2.)abusive relationships. I would suggest that you start with investigating the "Stockholm Syndrome".
Developing a critical mind is one thing, but being critical from ignorance is quite another, Divergent. You need to apply your own advice to youself. Educate yourself. Ignorance is unattractive.