I do understand what you mean regarding that PTSD. For a long time, the meetings were making me ill.
I'd vomit before going....I was so stressed..the stress grew as my husband and I felt the cold distance of being 'socially shunned" - we were not under reproof and certainly not disfellowshipped - we'd been irregular for nearly a year as we sorted out some deeply private and difficult problems....when we went back we needed love, support and good cheer as we were thriving and earnest to just "get on" and do our best, be part of the congregation.
I remember crying on the way home so often - I felt so lonely - and once upon a time, we'd been in such a different situation - guess we dropped the ball meeting wise and we were left on the outside.
The elders knew what we'd been through - and you'd think they would want to be the family nest we needed so badly - as we had no family who were witnesses and who lived locally.
We didn't go to the memorial this year or last year - although we had a couple of texts reminding us in a kind way.
These days, the date isn't really a biggie for me - I can ponder on the meaning anytime, any day.
Take care.