Posts by Alive!

20

Make the Truth Your Own

by neat blue dog in

this is something that hit me just relatively recently.. the phrase "make the truth your own" is a very famous catch phrase in jw culture.

it was a pet philosophy of daniel sydlik and has been used and is used in talks, literature and song.

every witness knows this trope.

Alive!

In the scriptures, the only truth is the Christ.

I never really felt comfortable with the expression ‘in the truth’ as used by JWs.

it always felt a little ‘off’ to me .....even as a fully committed JW.

23

Massive hints against alcohol

by purrpurr in

jw
friends

in the most recent assembly there were several heavy hints about not drinking alcohol at all.

saying that it doesn't give a good witness or would stumble others.. is this a new "unwritten directive?.

Alive!

My experience was that a large number of witnesses were/are extremely heavy drinkers, men and women.

And....I’m talking about fully approved Elders, Ministerial Servants and Pioneers...not just ‘fringe-dwellers’.

I dont mean this in a judgemental way....but as mentioned, the CD needed to be numbed, I’m sure.

When I look back, overall we just didn’t have a wholesome culture.....something was ‘off’.

To live in belief that the lives of billions depended on your ‘witness’, to know you failed time and time again to ‘win’ people over, many who were family, loved and known to be decent folk.....the emotional burden is heavy. One minute you are out under the ‘guidance of angels’ searching for honest-hearted ones in the most significant mission in the history of man, the next minute you were planning that evenings social activities....which always involved alcohol. Our conversations could be all about interior design, the latest plan for this and that...the next second we’d be straight faced ringing a doorbell, offering a magazine on Armageddon.

I look back....it was borderline insanity.

No wonder heavy drinking was prevalent.

15

The Red Headed League

by dropoffyourkeylee in

i am sitting here watching my pioneering wife get service time ‘writing letters’ to not-at-homes.

she has a long list of names and addressees where the jws in field service never got anyone home.

the letter is simply a word for word copy, handwritten on note paper, then sent in the usmail.

Alive!

One particular "special" drive to get us all auxiliary pioneering turned out to be a month of rain, lots of it.

So, I had my first taste of meeting at the KH and writing letters to "not at homes".

We brought our own paper, envelopes and stamps....and copied letters one after the other.

I looked around at the morning group, as we did our best handwriting, and I just KNEW this was wrong on so many levels. We were fleshing out our time, that's what it was all about. And it wasn't even about fellowship, as everyone quietly got on with their work and my occasional comments (which I thought were funny!!) were met in smiling silence, but not encouraged any further for chat.

So, the next time we all sat down, the Presiding Overseer was joining us. At the table, I asked if anyone had thought of word processing the letters, printing them out...and then we could just hand sign, with a brief sentence or two, to add the personal touch which seemed to be the argument as for why we were handwriting.

Clearly, it was not appreciated that a friendly good suggestion was put out there.....

This was yet another time where I felt the dark thud in my heart -because from the JW perspective, there are people out "there" who are going to DIE - where was our true urgency? In that room, I felt a certain chilled callousness about our work, sending tracts containing worrying illustrations and things, with no thought for the mental health of those who might receive them, or how their personal circumstances were when they opened the envelope.

And I DID feel that the personal handwritten touch was indeed creepy, and not something that a non-believer would feel very comfortable with.

Seemed to me, a word processed letter hand signed by a sister or brother was a nicer way - but no.

Oh no, no, no. It was all about getting in the hours. Madness, dont you think.

25

...and so it begins

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i've had an email from a sister who tells me that out in field service this morning a long standing route call has told them she won't be taking any more magazines and doesn't want them calling on her again because she has heard about the jws child abuse scandals and cover ups.

she was quite angry with them and said your elders say there is nothing wrong but there is and it will all come out.. this is the first time anyone i know of has been challenged on the doorstep and they were absolutely shocked and also angry.

angry that the organization is not preparing them for dealing with this and for not being honest with the brothers about what is going on ie: lawsuits etc.. just thought i'd share that with you..

Alive!

That IS interesting Phoebe.

16

Session #8: "Bullet in the Head"

by Brian J in

so at the phd today with my wife and me, and in slowly getting to the heart of matters (like peeling an onion if you ask me), the dialogue in part went like this: .

phd: if it came down to it, would you take a bullet in the head instead of giving up membership in your organization?

wife: absolutely, i would die for my faith.

Alive!

Hi,

Your wife sounds like a very special person. You clearly love and respect her. She's a deep thinker, intelligent, loves and cares unselfishly. All these qualities and the family life you share add up to real blessings, real quality of life.

But, you've mentioned before that she lives with suicidal depression.

I also struggle with suicidal depression....and so much of that I trace to living twenty years of cognitive dissonance in the Watchtower pressure cooker.

Oh, I've got a history of trauma events...truly painful and not your usual 'life' experiences...and I accept that there is a knock on affect from that. However, I always outwardly presented well, my inner emotions were kept under guard, escaping now and then.

So, the organisation and my faith built structure into my life.....and I was a true believer, I seemed to thrive, my life was full on as a JW, for many years.

But, the tension of believing everything came from God via the Watchtower, whilst experiencing the reality that too many Watchtower scriptural interpretations were at best weak, at worst biased and convoluted...and somewhat dishonest....for a 'deep thinker' like myself, this was painful to the nth degree.

The depression comes and goes in waves for me, now I've been 'gone' for nearly 6 years.

Age is not on my side, being 60 and losing my life's investment in friends, faith and life structure.

Go carefully with her Brian - I'd suggest her declaration of 'taking a bullet' for her faith is more about 'taking a bullet' rather than lose everything that is her 'life' as she knows it.

Or at least tightly wrapped up between her 'life' and her 'faith'.

This isn't about her intelligence, her ability to think.....but the potential dread of the unknown outside of her 'safe' place as a JW. Terrifying for her likely. Terrifying.

I'd be inclined to understand her declarations as self protective screams against the Unknown. For her, protection and love from God, can only come through the organisation.

And whilst that is deeply comforting when one believes it to be 'true' - it is terrifying when cracks are shown......

25

...and so it begins

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i've had an email from a sister who tells me that out in field service this morning a long standing route call has told them she won't be taking any more magazines and doesn't want them calling on her again because she has heard about the jws child abuse scandals and cover ups.

she was quite angry with them and said your elders say there is nothing wrong but there is and it will all come out.. this is the first time anyone i know of has been challenged on the doorstep and they were absolutely shocked and also angry.

angry that the organization is not preparing them for dealing with this and for not being honest with the brothers about what is going on ie: lawsuits etc.. just thought i'd share that with you..

Alive!

That's interesting to read Phoebe.

The child abuse issues will not convince 'the sea of unbelievers' that 'God is truly with you people' - the way the JW organisation appeared and handled questioning at the ARC (and I watched every live-streaming video from Australia) will alienate décent people who are 'interested' but not yet 'invested'.

19

They have nowhere else to go!

by Crazyguy in

i think the overwhelming problem with trying to wake up friends and family is they have nowhere else to go.

i mean these people all their friends are jws a lot of them their family is jws.

if they wake up or agree with you in anyway they know instantly that they loose all this, many will even loose jobs.

Alive!

"Among the fence sitters, there are many Jw's who have doubts, however, they are sincere believers who love their God and want to continue as JW's. These are the ones who happily wait on Jehovah to correct matters."
Agree. Sadly, those same ones are prepared to see others suffer loss and misery for their personal convictions that Jehovah wouldn't teach by manipulation and lies.
But, there is no doubt, many faithful witnesses believe they are 'holding the fort' whilst waiting for Jehovah to correct things.
In the meantime, their faithfulness means they have to shut their eyes to proven slight of hand, smoke screen tactics.
Converts like me, didn't sign up for that....and are left distressed and broken by it all...and so we have to face the pain of disengagement from it all.....quite horrible.

14

no...No...NOOO...JW's are not a cult!

by FedUpJW in

just read this over on jw talk:.

will we be willing to leave unbelieving mates and unresponsive kids behind when given direction on what to do???

what about grandkids who fall under their parents who are not witnesses???

Alive!

It's a relief to know I don't have to sit alongside people who think this way....and pray in unison with them.

And their madness isn't their own thinking....it's the product of the Watchtower's grooming.

I remember the anxious discussions around this....only discussed with better grammar!

This is what the 'truth' is all about.

66

Since leaving the JW Organization, who is believing?

by Issa in

jw
friends

i left the jw organization last year during summer.

maybe some of you can relate.

who of you are agnostic or an atheist?

Alive!

Well, I keep faith.

I'm not offended by those who think it's all delusion and rubbish. Although it puzzles me how the door could be so firmly closed on the actual possibility of a higher power by some. Just as it probably puzzles non-negotiable Athiests that I am prepared to share my thoughts and hopes with an invisible Father figure who has never once audibly spoken back to me in a way that is Headline News evidence of His existence.

But, I've always felt aware of something beyond me, our world...as a child, through angry anti-religion teens and into my thirties, when I finally sat down and spent time with coming to grips with my senses re the spiritual dimensions, my internal yearning was as real to me as anything.

Millie wrote it well, regarding the scriptures etc.

I don't treat the bible as an 'idol' - however I do respect and have faith that the progressive writings are pointing us towards a greater truth and hope.

Anyway, that's how it is for me.

29

Anxiety, OCD, Hoarding, and the JWs

by Spiral in

i'm noticing what seems to be a higher incidence of the above among the local jws than in the "general" (read: worldly) population.

i don't say this lightly, my wanderings around the fringes of jw society locally is revealing an alarming trend here.

the poverty doesn't help (there are good jobs, but you need a degree or qualifications to get one).. anyone else see this?

Alive!

I have to say that in my experience the incidence of OCD behaviours and other such issues amongst the JW community is extraordinary high. Really.

I often experienced dry retching attacks prior to a meeting....and I was a full on 'happy' believer.

These were times when I had a whole lot circumstantial emotional stresses on my plate, and the thought of spending the evening in a large gathering of people was NOT upbuilding for me, personally. The chit chat before and after felt excruciating, even though I focused on the person in front of me, and not myself as a sort of self regulation....it was wearying.

There was a period of time, where I was grieving, deeply grieving and I really just needed a kind and non confronting soul to just sit with me, the only company I desired outside of the workplace was in my home setting....and one to one.

Not just for a day, a night....but for a period of time I needed space, some dignity in solitude....and the anxiety of not having endorsed permission to be absent from meetings as a JW made me ill.

It really did.

The religion did a lot of productive things for my life...externally, it all looked good...our house, our social life, our finances and businesses....

But I was one of those who picked my manicured fingers, picked at my head....such anxiety underneath the gloss and the apparently happy life.

My JW friends all drank far too much...elders, pioneers....we all did.

My JW girlfriends were always on edge, or taking medication for anxiety.

Many of us were really all quite spiritually, emotionally and physically sick, when I think about it.

I saw many lives ruined. And that's not sour grapes.