As a wife, I keenly felt the angst of 'not being a model family' if I went to the meetings on my own -I'd feel terrible sadness and...resentment... my husband was not appointed, no responsibilities assigned ......and in JW world it means you are spiritually 'shite'...
The sad thing is that my husband was a generous and humble type, before he let the JW 'male' culture rub off on him - the association of the cynical elders and hard nosed bullies messed with his character development - I'm sure of that.
We are having real quality discussions these days, we are unravelling the mess and finding peace. Reclaiming our identities, getting grounded in the good parts of our characters.
The culture of JW land is geared towards unnatural tension, blame and frustration.
Hugs to all spouses that are suffering and hurting from the crazy stuff.