Wow (and peace to you all!). I truly thought I was going to be low man on the totem pole here... and so I am VERY surprised at the responses. Very. I thought not to respond at first... but I think I will.
I have several VERY good friends (i.e., that I can ask for anything and if they have it, it's mine; if they don't, they will try and get it for me), both female and male... not counting about a dozen family members (both mine and my husband's) that I would also call friends. I know I can call them all friends... because they TELL me I am their friend... and vice versa... and have proven their friendship me, as I have tried to do with them. I am very affectionate with my friends and don't hesitate to tell them that I love them (yep, I TELL them that)... without expecting the same in return. As a result, though, I and a few, male and female, often call one another and just say, "Hey, I'm thinking of you and am glad you are in my life... I love you!" We're truly friends and so it feels natural to do that. It almost feels "wrong" not to... because we DO love one another.
I was devastated to have lost two friends in the past year (well, one I know was a friend... indeed, a very GOOD friend and for more than 16 years... lost because she decided to go back into the WTBTS, which I understand for her: we live over 1,000 miles away from one another and so she needed more friends; her other ones never left the Borg and had made it hard on her for some time), and so she "can't" really associate with my any longer. I give her her space; she knows I love her, though, and will always be there for her. The other I thought was a friend... or at least heading in that direction... for about 4-5 years; unfortunately, our differences in beliefs seem to have become an issue there, too.
The thing that I have learned in my life, though, is that the only way to HAVE friends... is to BE a friend. First. And no matter what. No matter what your friend believes/doesn't believe... or perhaps does/does not due. Even if they get on your nerves from time to time. In which case, you will most probably HAVE friends... no matter what... because like people often attract like people... and so you will most probably get on THEIR nerves from time to time, too.
I truly hope that some of you are able, at some point, to experience real friendships in your lives. While they are not necessarily necessary, like spouses, children, grandchildren, and pets... they greatly enhance your life and make it SO much richer. It certainly makes leaving something like the WTBTS a bit easier to endure.
Peace!
A doulos of Christ,
SA