My short and possibly calloused reply would be: Dude! Drop the JWs and go back to your HS and colledge friends.
I'm curious how you even got involved with the JWs.
Do you think, in the grander scheme, that god really cares one way or another if you play Rugby with the guys? Are they truly "Bad" people?
If you were to go see old friends and their families, do you think that the creator of Billions of Galaxies each with Billions of stars is going to stop for a moment and hold his breath over possible conversational matters?
I can relate to your being depressed. Who is more Christ like? People that go out door to door for hours yet do not have the personal inclination to call one of their own and see how they are doing. Or. People who have known you your whole life, or parts of your life, who genuinely care for you, and may be curious why you have distanced yourself from them.
I think that you are experiencing lack of love. Or even cognitive dissonance. I am sorry that you feel frustrated and alone.
I hope that I have not offended, as I truly mean well, I just talk funny.
There are many here who are better at talking with new posters. It is kinda a slow night, as it is late (or early a.m.) in the US, and I think it is Sunday in the rest of the world.
I don't know what else to say.
Peace.