I question myself everynight befor I go to sleep, will I be saved? Does god love me? I can not stop doing what I do, its my nature. I am so sorry, but i need to know is god going to love me? I am sitting here at my computer with tears. I know that the moment my family finds out about me: im out the door, so will god be there for me? I also question everynight to my self and cry myself to sleep, to is there really a god?
Welcome to the Board, To Be or Not To Be.
You post took me back about fifteen years. I was in the same position you are. Praying for a change that would never come. Knowing that if I were exposed, my family and friends would abandon me. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of options, do there? Well, I'm happy to say that things do and will get better. About five years ago, I met the most wonderful person and decided to spend the rest of my life with him. I was so filled with happiness, that I couldn't stay 'in the closet' any longer. I came out to my family. But to my surprise, they didn't shun me at all, they told me that they still loved me. Something I never would have thought possible at sixteen.
As for God. I believe (S)He exists. And, yes God loves you. He loves all of us! God would no more deny His love because you are gay/bisexual than because you have green eyes.
Again, welcome to the board. There is a lot to learn here from some wonderful people. (Gretchen is just one of my favorites! ) And be sure to check out the other websites that are geared specifically for gay/lesbian/bisexual JWs. Please feel free to send me a message if I can help you in any way.
CountryGuy