"shes mad, that her life isnt like those fake made up experiences she hears at conventions, or reads about in the year book."
sowhatnow, you are spot on on this one. Her life is not matching up to what it SHOULD be. She is not happy. NOTHING is happening, no END in sight. I do believe some, for the very first time ever, are having to realize that they will die. It's a tough pill to swallow.