CountryGuy, thanks for your account. I guess theres is hope yet! I am just at times constatly worried about the worst that could happen, and by viewing some of the stuff here, the worst has happend to some when it comes to family.
I'll be staying in touch with this BB, thanks everyone. :)
SC_Guy
JoinedPosts by SC_Guy
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55
*sigh* I think I'm staying in the borg
by SC_Guy ini *can't* leave, i'm trapped.
i was talking to my twin sister tonight on how i didn't want to go to the upcoming convention this weekend because we had already been to it 2 months ago... .
i have to prepare some audition matrial for a arts event and my parents are not sympathtic to the fact i got allot to do, and we've already been.
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SC_Guy
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55
*sigh* I think I'm staying in the borg
by SC_Guy ini *can't* leave, i'm trapped.
i was talking to my twin sister tonight on how i didn't want to go to the upcoming convention this weekend because we had already been to it 2 months ago... .
i have to prepare some audition matrial for a arts event and my parents are not sympathtic to the fact i got allot to do, and we've already been.
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SC_Guy
franklin J, I'm not in school... I finished a state-run homeschool program 3 years ago that my parents wanted me to do in 3rd Grade. I have not had much outside my home... my parents don't want me to leave... and I'm serious when I say this. My parents won't even let me get a job so I could support myself, the only thing I can really make money with is with my gigs I have at weddings, dinner parties (I'm a cellist)... even then I can't take a job that will interfere with the meetings.. I try to save every little bit, but all my money goes into a bank account that my parents have to co-sign in order for me to withdraw any money. My pioneer sister is 25 and she's still at home because my parents really want to keep her close. The only time she ever left was to goto college for around 3 months, and she was only allowed to stay with a JW family while going to college. My parents are werid, but I don't know how do without my sisters.
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55
*sigh* I think I'm staying in the borg
by SC_Guy ini *can't* leave, i'm trapped.
i was talking to my twin sister tonight on how i didn't want to go to the upcoming convention this weekend because we had already been to it 2 months ago... .
i have to prepare some audition matrial for a arts event and my parents are not sympathtic to the fact i got allot to do, and we've already been.
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SC_Guy
Thanks guys.
I know if I stay, that I will be doing something that isn't fair to me... but if I go, I know what will happen. My DA'ed Grandmother I have never met her up untill 3 years ago... just recently I took a visit to go see her and she was such a comfort to me. She told me life is just too short to treat people like garbage or to be wasting your time with people who treat you as such. My aunts, some of them never got dunked and they just left... my family shuns them as well... my father is the most 'zelous' when it right down to it. I've expressed this to my arts teacher, she has been the most supportive person in my life now... she's ex-morman, she knows about it... Last week, I was a crying mess and she gave me a big hug and she gave me a perspective about what she has went though.
I'm not babtized yet, and I'm close to 18... my family prods me about it allot, and I made the decision to do it this summer to keep up apprences. When it comes down to it, I do hate it... I hate it with every fiber of my being. I hate just going to the bookstudy/WT Study and hear people roll around information in a paragraph and afterwards people will be like "Oh, that was SUCH a good study!" Or sing songs about "Loyal Submission"... I'm sick of it all. Just sometimes, everything feels like it's crushing me all at once... my past history, what I want to do and people excpect of me if feels like I can't breath and I just want to explode... I've already attempted sucicde a few times, I just don't know how much worse I can feel at this point... my life really sucks. -
55
*sigh* I think I'm staying in the borg
by SC_Guy ini *can't* leave, i'm trapped.
i was talking to my twin sister tonight on how i didn't want to go to the upcoming convention this weekend because we had already been to it 2 months ago... .
i have to prepare some audition matrial for a arts event and my parents are not sympathtic to the fact i got allot to do, and we've already been.
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SC_Guy
I *can't* leave, I'm trapped. I was talking to my twin sister tonight on how I didn't want to go to the upcoming convention this weekend because we had already been to it 2 months ago...
I have to prepare some audition matrial for a arts event and my parents are not sympathtic to the fact I got allot to do, and we've already been. Well, anyhow... my sister came to me and told me she was worried that I didn't want to be a JW cause I don't want to goto the convention... my sister, is really sincre and sweet when it comes to these things... and she was really worried, she was even crying a little. She even said "I don't know how I could live without my twin in the new system" That made my heart and feelings just twist up in a knot. When it comes down to it... I wonder if I can ever go from the borg... I just don't want to loose my family over it, and I don't want to flush my dreams down the toliet for a religion either. I guess you could say I'm screwed either way.
Thanks for lettin' me vent..
-SC Guy -
7
Do JW scholars always have tie problems?
by GermanXJW ini found pictures of the only two jw scholars i know of.
both seem not to care about their tie when a photo is taken.
both pictures are from their official websites!
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SC_Guy
Flawed? Some might argue that, however a consideration of the history of the word "Flaw" might give some insight into the matter. 'The New World South-Westren libral babtist's handbook brings out that: "It is clear to us since God made everything on this earth including words, flawed is only a word that God uses for the gloifcation of his unique Jesus prasin' servants."
As some may not know, the Hebrew word for unique (Ga-il'g-o-ma'ga-late'-porn-o'ifa) means "Tie" or "Tie that becomes crooked". Giving this further thought, it has been brought out in a teaching example of God's love in the book of Malarky 3:12 that "I shall carry the unique ones of my flock in my Harly-tote"
What does that mean for us today? It means we can be sure that God's mercy will be extended to those who are imperfect. Praise to be Jehovah who lovingly guides his imperfect ones to the perfect light of truth! -
44
Fibbing about your time
by SC_Guy ini'd never thought about this... but last night my father asked for my time.
and i told him i didn't have any.
he didn't seem to mind so he went ahead long his way.. .
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SC_Guy
"...BUT... really.. What did you think of his reasoning on this?
What did I think? Well, I don't know. I think it's dishonest... but my parents are my parents... my mother gave me a down-the-road on how I should not be questioning my father's time... it's not my place she said. (and it's probably not) When I told my pioneer sister, she said: "Well, if that's the case... I'm going to go ahead and report 160 hours a month!" lol. -
44
Fibbing about your time
by SC_Guy ini'd never thought about this... but last night my father asked for my time.
and i told him i didn't have any.
he didn't seem to mind so he went ahead long his way.. .
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SC_Guy
I'd never thought about this... but last night my father asked for my time. And I told him I didn't have any. He didn't seem to mind so he went ahead long his way.
Later on that evening, he left his computer on with his Outlook express e-mail client on the screen... and believe it or not, he was e-mailing our family's time in. Guess what? My dad listed me for 3 hours. Hmm.. he also listed put down 7 hours in his time slot along with a family study report. Few things... my dad has not gone out in service in Dec nor have we had a family study (barf) in 4 or so years. I asked him about it, why did he do it.. ect. He said that he accoplishes his misistry through his Good conduct... and the family study because he makes sure we study (on our own) for the bookstudy and WT... :p Yeah. (I just underline things in a paragraph.. takes me only like 5 minutes) He said he'd help me make the time up next month and it's okay to put down hours that you didn't have.
I beg the question... did anyone else count time for "Good Conduct" or family studies when you tell your kids to study? :D Or, did you ever add hours you never got? :P -
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Mormons tried to recruit me on the phone
by Mulan ini think the mormons are trying a new tactic.. i got a call yesterday from the mormon church in salt lake city.
it seems one of my malaysian friends, is a bishop or something with the church in malaysia.
i knew he had been in slc recently, because he called me one night.
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SC_Guy
Yes, they do... But it's for even weirder reasons... I cannot confirm this to be true since I only heard this in a Pioneer group (:-P) but, I heard that if the young men do not compleate their preaching missions, they are shunned. *sigh* The JW's are not so diffrent. :(
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19
My story
by SC_Guy indear friends, .
i belive i signed up to this fourm a month or so ago, yet i find that durning this time it has taken some time for me to come up with a way for me to share what has happend in my breif period of living.
my parents moved out of that area when i knew harold by the way.
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SC_Guy
Dear friends,
I belive I signed up to this fourm a month or so ago, yet I find that durning this time it has taken some time for me to come up with a way for me to share what has happend in my breif period of living. I am 18 years old, male. I'd rather not share any more details regarding to where I live in fear of someone being able to trace me to where I am.
I guess you can say I'm not like some of the people here... so bitter over what has happend to them regarding JW's... I guess it may come with passing of time. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't feel anything but num from it all, and just some days I don't want to wake up and get out of bed and start another day... I don't know if sometimes I can deal with people and things in my life. Sometimes, the day goes better if I don't overthink things and move on with the pace life grants... and just continue that untill I hit another rock in the road in life.
The religion started with my parents... when they were young and married... 3 years into their marrige I believe. Way before I was born. I knew the man they studied with when I was about 7... he and his wife were very kind people and they had 3 children who also had children.. I played with them whenever I could. Life was simple, like I suppose it is for anyone who's 7 and 8 years old.. :) I remember bits and peices of that life, but I will never forget the thing that changed my life. My parents took us (me and my sisers) on a vaction to a place up north and we camped in that state for a week and a half. My parents loved the place so much they decided to move into the area, and looked for houses a few days before the vacation was over. I remember staying with my aunt a few months later while my parents went back into that state to look at houses some more. Later in the winter of that year, they bought a house and we moved.
It was January the first time I saw the house, it was brown and ugly. The insides were OK, but my parents had plans of remodling.. big time. That night, JW's from the hall helped us move in. I can't remember much else other than a blizzard hit late that night... I remember my first meeting at our new kingdom hall... there was one boy 2 years older than me... mean kid. Nobody talked to me... except this one brother. His name was rick he was from Ohio I think... such a nice guy. Rick lived in that area for 3 years before he became a CO... I haven't seen him since I was about 10 or 11.
When winter cleared, some of the brothers who were considered wealthy came back from their winter homes with thier awful children. There were 2 boys and a girl. I later formed a friendship with one of the boys who I still have contact with, and we are still friends. He is 20 years old, and still lives in the same place... he's a pioneer.
I guess you can say one of the things that hurt me when I was young was contact with a elder who took me under his wing. He was older, his wife had died... I'm not sure if he was a person who graduated from giliad but he oftan talked of his missioary service in Honduras and did parts on the meeting about it. His name is harold... he died awhile back, 2 years ago I think. God. It's hard for the words for what happend, I'll make it simple.. I spent the night some times with him, most of the time it was on saturday.. we'd go out in service.. go to his home stay the night and go home with my parents after the sunday meeting. I'm not going to say what he did once, but the act was so suddle. I told my parents right away...
They didn't believe me. I don't remember much... I think my mom believed me but there was so much fighting. My parents had me and them talk to the elders including harold, and he looked my parents in the face and lied. Somehow my father thought I was making it up for attention or because I wanted a toy or some such... my mom I guess was later convinced of it. I remember after it my parents would drop me off at this pioneer sisters house were we would have a bible study every week... I think because they thought I was a liar.
I didn't know that what happend to me at the time was sexual or unhealthy. I just knew it was wrong because my parents told me if someone touches you you need to tell us. I found out later about what he was doing with me when I was 14 or so. Beauty of the internet for you I suppose.. my parents never told me about sex so I looked it up! Ha.
Him doing what he did never had a huge emotinal impact for me (like some do have).. I always had and always will have bad feelings for it, I was led to belive I did something wrong for telling someone I was violated. Some days it's bad and some its not so bad. What hurts the most is now that I am older, I have had an attraction to men for many years. And, I'm still with JWs and still with my parents and sisters.
There.. never said it before. I'm gay. There.
I used to pray every night and ache for Jehovah to fix me. I would cry untill I fell asleep... I still do. although, I don't pray anymore. I have attemped suicide twice, once through asprin licor, another on a handful of codine... the second time my parents found out about and I'm still studying with the person they begged to help me. Later on I guess you can say I found out the truth about the truth. And belive it or not, not through apostates! :) It was through reading into the older WT bound volumes and finding things about 1975. I had questions... one thing led to another. As far as my parents know I'm a babtized publisher with above average hours.
My parents moved out of that area when I knew harold by the way. I live in a diffrent state now. We moved twice, really. I'm scared of the real world though, my parents homeschooled me so I have little contact with those outside of the congergation. My parnets have warmed up to the idea of me going off to college to study music preformace (classical music). And its strange that they have offered to help me out... you know, since college isn't really looked well on. I have made some friends on the outside, 2 or 3... and I am feeling myself slip away. I don't want to loose my family or my long time friends, but I am afraid of that being a step I have to take sooner rather than later.
But, thats my life thus far. I do feel better after typing this. Thanks for letting me share.
I'll try to stick around and talk.
-SC_Guy -
208
THEY'VE DONE IT!!!! The WBTS set a new date!
by dmouse inthe latest watchtower, dec 15th 2003, is an out and out attack on the rank and file for dropping into a drowsy state spiritually.
ok, so armageddon didn't come before the generation of 1914 grew old and died.
but does that mean that the big a isn't near?
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SC_Guy
Hi, lurker here. I guess you could say I'm still in the borg... mainly just to keep the close family, I'd hate to loose my parents who are hardcore. Anyhow... I still go to meetings and coventions... and I have to say that the Noah's day vs. ours has been at an all time high since 95-03 Check the watchtower library, convention programs and new sunday talk outlines for living breathing examples. At times, there is refrence to 120 years of noah right along in the same paragraph or thought as 1914. This new Dec 15th WT creeps me out, and it may not be 'new light' sugguestions, but I'd bet a good deal of my income on that it is. 1914, 1925, 1975 was like watchtower shooting it's self in the foot as well, but they managed to sail through... and with bigger numbers since those dates. *sigh* -SC