With respect nicolaou, those who are DA'd are treated exactly as the same as those who are DF'd. I appreciate that the sitution Rebel described is one who was DA'd many years ago, before the current arrangments were in place, but in the mind of and in the eyes if the org someone known as "disassociated" is just that, disassociated, for whatever reason or whenever it happened.
pages 110-112 of the ks10 make it clear, including the announcment to be made when someone DA's, either through verbal means or actions. The announcment is "[name of person] is no longer one of jehovahs witnesses", the exact announcment made when one is DF'd.
please let me say im not trying to be insensitive to the sad family situation you described or in any contridict you, only pointing out the current organization realities.
If someone is known to be in the sitution rebel described, a dubbie would shun.