Posts by PLAYGROUND

20

28 years

by PLAYGROUND in

earlier i posted about my loveless marriage.

i was baptized at a very young age, and during that time period i was having sex.yes i made a dedication knowing i was still practicing fornication.

i had raging hormones since my youth.

I have been separated from my marriage mate for 2 years pretty much. Which doesn't make what I am doing right. I need to come clean and I'm not saying it would happen today or tomorrow but it needs to be soon.

Thanks all...

20

28 years

by PLAYGROUND in

earlier i posted about my loveless marriage.

i was baptized at a very young age, and during that time period i was having sex.yes i made a dedication knowing i was still practicing fornication.

i had raging hormones since my youth.

PLAYGROUND

They are not a witness, that's why I was up front with them eventually when I started having feeling for them. They didn't speak to me for about a month afterwards. Little by little they came around and now we are at a good point.

20

28 years

by PLAYGROUND in

earlier i posted about my loveless marriage.

i was baptized at a very young age, and during that time period i was having sex.yes i made a dedication knowing i was still practicing fornication.

i had raging hormones since my youth.

PLAYGROUND

I don't want to play around with anyone emotions. We have talked and I have explained that I am not in any position to be in a committed relationship. So we hang with each other like we are friends to the world but behind closed doors its different. Jehovah knows, this something no one needs to tell me.

I can't continue to have my cake and pie too. This is killing me, you don't have to believe me but it is.

20

28 years

by PLAYGROUND in

earlier i posted about my loveless marriage.

i was baptized at a very young age, and during that time period i was having sex.yes i made a dedication knowing i was still practicing fornication.

i had raging hormones since my youth.

PLAYGROUND

Earlier I posted about my loveless marriage. I was baptized at a very young age, and during that time period I was having sex.Yes I made a dedication knowing I was still practicing fornication. I had raging hormones since my youth. Later I had sex with random people, less than 6 one them on a regular basis, while maintaining a good standing within the congregation.Most of the individuals I had sex with was just to release needed pressure. I have been leading this double life for 28 years and I am tired.I have death sentence I know. This world end is fast approaching and I will be killed and everyone will know I was not faithful.

I got married because I hope my need for sex would be put in its needed place. That marriage was so wrong, I guess I got what I deserved for living a double life. However during that period I was faithful, although the marriage was abusive.I had privileges within the congregation at that time. Since we haven't been together I tried to remain faithful, however I've been keeping another secret, I'm gay. I married to get that out of my system too. This person was suppose to be my all to end all, who knew they were literally a sociopath. I never saw that coming. I guess Jehovah was punishing me for my double life. During that time period I did want to commit suicide.

Here I been unfaithful to Jehovah and the congregation for years since my youth. I married someone and its trouble. I lost privileges, although I shouldn't hadn't them. How do you not want to walk in front of a semi-truck? Who want to disgrace their family.

I want to confess it all, I know I will be disfelllowship. The elders would think I'm not repenting because I should had confess years ago and more recently.I am repenting, I am so sorry. I love my family, I love them to death. Is that funny, because they will be seeing my death.

Jehovah is going to kill me and I won't be a thought to my family. I messed up, I know and I don't need anyone to tell me. I want to make it right, I do. My worst fear is being disfellowship. How many times I can I go to the hall, assemblies, regionals, memorials and gatherings and put on this pretense?

And now I have met this person and I want to be with them but I can't. The sex, conversation and the way they treat me is unbelievable. I can't continue this I know. I must be the worst JW in the world right now. I have to get this out of my system soon.

Am I the only witness that have live this way for so long? I just need to put my thoughts down.

54

Separated from a loveless Marriage

by PLAYGROUND in

i don't know where to start.

i got married a year and half ago.

some months into the marriage things where discovered.

PLAYGROUND

I had my convention a week ago and one of the releases, a movie entitled What is True Love? Is playing with my mind. This is crazy, I know I made the right decision, but still

54

Separated from a loveless Marriage

by PLAYGROUND in

i don't know where to start.

i got married a year and half ago.

some months into the marriage things where discovered.

PLAYGROUND

paradisebeauty, before we were married, I didn't see any signs in my spouse that something was wrong .

If I am truthful, I really didn't see this coming at all. When I say the personality change, it really honestly changed.

54

Separated from a loveless Marriage

by PLAYGROUND in

i don't know where to start.

i got married a year and half ago.

some months into the marriage things where discovered.

PLAYGROUND

When you hear talks about family life, or marriage discourse you start to wonder was there more you could have done. People look at you strange because they are wondering what happen to your marriage? You have Elders that ask about you, us getting back together. Everyone just know one said of the story, my spouse.

How do you tell someone that you were truly frighten and scared? How do you tell people that there was so many sleepless night, wondering what was going to happen.

I want happiness, but not living in that situation.

I thank everyone for their kind words and advise.

24

What are the consequences if a JW files for an unscriptural divorce?

by Daniel1555 in

in january my wife separated from me, because she views me as an apostate (to make the story short).. at that time the elders explained to us, that the bible doesn't approve of such a separation.

i heard from my mother in law, that my wife finally wants to divorce.

(when i think of how my wife treated me the last year i actually want a divorce too).. now my question to you:.

PLAYGROUND

I can tell you from what I am go through right now, she and you will not be in good standing. I don't care what congregation you go to, on your publisher card it would be marked with a letter "NOT IN GOOD STANDING" you both are not exemplary individuals.

54

Separated from a loveless Marriage

by PLAYGROUND in

i don't know where to start.

i got married a year and half ago.

some months into the marriage things where discovered.

PLAYGROUND

Just an update. The brothers are still trying to get us back together ignoring what is being said. I had my meeting yesterday and sitting there listening to the watchtower was just disturbing.

54

Separated from a loveless Marriage

by PLAYGROUND in

i don't know where to start.

i got married a year and half ago.

some months into the marriage things where discovered.

PLAYGROUND

Missfit, thanks for checking on me. I have had good days and bad.At this moment conversations has came to a stand still. The Elders has not said anything to either party. Don't know if that is a good thing or a bad one. I know what is in my heart, I also know what my gut is tell me. Either way someone will be hurt.