I'm still not fully awaken...But I started to open my eyes when I had to move back in with my mum and returned back to my original congregation about 7 families had moved out (there were issues in the cong) and I didn't feel right being there. I told myself it will all be dealt with, it was 1 montth before convention so I was trying my best to follow and do what I know is the norm -meeting and ministry.. During the August convention all I felt was guilt ( the previous year I was reproved) the GB member was there but I didn't feel any other different just the same things over and over again. I kept trying to get myself to focus listen the 'time is near'- I sat next to two pioneer sisters who were beaming with joy over the whole thing and I was just unmoved.
It wasn't until after the convention I went out for a meal with 3 of my first friends I met when I started studying and it was all revealed 2 had stopped coming to meetings and one was on her way out too- we cried about the whole thing told ourselves how we regretted getting baptised because if it was true we may have still gotten a chance of ressurection.
So beginning of Sept I stopped regularly attending meeting I havent been to a meeting since October- I had in my mind maybe I will return next year or whenever if it isn't 'too late' because I couldn't see myself joining any other religion. I've started doing some research and right now I can't believe what I've gotten myself into, I'm trying to fade out completely but it's hard as my mum attends regularly and I live in close proximity to the Hall.
But soon I will be gone and I can't wait!