Looking at this at merely a secular level, and not religiously at all, what your mother did is very irritating....not to mention illegal. I have over 20 years in the healthcare field (in the management part, not in direct patient care) and it is things like this--repeated by people all over, that helps to contribute to the rise in medical care costs. Using false names or addresses to obtain 'free' medical care is FRAUD...it is lying, cheating, and stealing.....it can be punishable by law. Now, factor in the religious aspect, and how can she truly rationalize that it's alright as a JW to lie, cheat, or steal?? Aren't JW's obligated to follow 'Caesar's laws'? As you can tell, this is a topic that can really get my goat. :-) Does she use a false social security number, too? There are ways to track people down and, if found, they can find out if a person has the means to pay and could pursue collection and/or legal action. But, it doesn't sound like she is open to much reason. Personally, I feel that people who try to cheat the medical system need to be turned in.... if not, all it just hurts the others who are honestly working to pay their bills, because it causes the fees to increase, etc....I just don't know if you want to be the one to do that or not....it doen't mean she'll stop, she just may go somewhere else in the future and not tell you....unless it is done anonymously. Just my 2 cents.........
Posts by Alana
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23JW Hypocracy at it's Finest
by teenyuck injust got off the phone with my mother.
she had a weird friend drive her to the er.
mom "well, i have no insurance and they have to treat me" .
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20
Indianapolis? Eastgate/Arlington Heights?
by Ghosthunter inanyone "lurking around" ever attend indianapolis eastside congs (eastgate, arlington heights, irvington, etc.
) about 20 - 25 years ago?
i've been df'd about 20 years and have never looked back.
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Alana
Wow....it's so much fun when you find people who knew people you did and/or attended congregations you did! I attended Irvington Congregation for a few years when I lived in Indy. I moved there in 1988 and left Indy about 1992. A sister I knew here in IL moved there and got me interested in a brother over that way and I decided to make a move. This friend ended up marrying one of Glen Kleine's sons - Nathan. I knew the Needhams, Sparks, Staleys...and my good friends were Kevin & Cathy McAtee (I still get mail once in a while from them, as they apparently don't know that I am now an evil, inactive one) and Carl Bredensteiner. I also knew the Spencer's, who I believe attended the Arlington Heights congregation. I also briefly attended the College Park congregation, but I didn't like the 'attitude' of the brothers up there on the NW side....they weren't as friendly as my friends on the good ol'East Side. After I moved out of state, I know that they changed all the congregations up and have since torn down the old Irvington/Arlington KH and rebuilt a new Kingdom Hall there, but I haven't been back in that area to even see it. Anyone still in that area??
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48
New Here
by Stefanie inim new here.
there is alot of stuff to read.
its gonna take forever to catch up.
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Alana
Welcome! Hey, I used to live in Houston, for about 2 years......I lived down in the Clear Lake/Webster/League City area........and I still wish I was back there in Texas instead of IL! I loved it down there and I truly believe there is no one like a TEXAN!
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13
JW Clan coming to visit!
by Golden Girl inand i want to run away!....
hubby's mom and sister and brother in law (all jw's) are coming to visit him next week.
only for one day this time.
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Alana
Blondie,
In my area, I have seen it twice where they have had the casket in the Kingdom Hall. One was an opened casket service (my ex-father-in-law) and one was closed (a 20 year old who died in childbirth -- along with her baby -- due to the blood issue) I really never understood it, unless it was another 'control' thing....so they could control the service and possibly who is there or whatever. But, my ex-husband is very DF'd and he was all over that Kingdom Hall just talking to everyone and even went up to the mike to say some things to the crowd before the service. I wonder if the elders cringed at that....I am sure that my ex (knowing him) loved every minute of telling them what to do and not letting them make him be the quiet DF'd person in the last row. :-) Then again, other churches do have funerals in them, so I guess it really isn't all that unusual. YIKES, that means they are doing things like Christendom!? OMG!
~Alana
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25
Beware! Xmas Morning ELDER attacks!
by LovesDubs infor those of you trying to sneak out the back door without being dfd or dad...and plan to do holidays, please remember that the jws are tightening their grip on detractors and those who think they can leave without consequences and they will come to your door christmas morning to try to catch you!
i have heard of this countless times since leaving in jan 97. keep everything that might incriminate you away from the front door!!
and that includes your kids whom they will ask direct questions to!edited by - lovesdubs on 12 december 2002 14:23:44.
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Alana
Been there...done that!!!! Don't think that they won't!
I am usually at my non-JW family's house on Xmas day...well, about 4 years ago my ex and I weren't leaving to go there until about noon and it was the first year that we got daring enough to put up any kind of decoration thing that could be seen from the street. Well, lo and behold, who shows up at the door but the P.O. and another elder.
The chicken that I was.....I ran downstairs hiding......and dummy that he was...he LET THEM IN!! Well, there is our daughter just tearing into gifts, and the tree, etc. Basically, they looked disappointed and shocked and told my ex "You know what this means, don't you?" To which he replied, "Well, then do what you feel you have to do." I was furious later.
I ended up writing a letter to the elders, certified mail, using one from a site online as a basis.....threatening legal action of I heard of any kind of announcement about me, etc., as they did not see me, nor did they speak with me and a bunch of other things and I had quotes from the "Flock" book where it states that if someone has not been claiming to be a JW for a while that they don't need to take action necessarily, unless that one tries to return, or something like that. Fortunately, we have not heard back from them....but, I think that it is partially out of respect for my elderly (adoptive) JW father. I assume that once he passes they will be back.......of course, this would be the year, even though my father is still living (in the nursing home), when they come with my outdoor decorations and live-in boyfriend....and we will be home part of the day Xmas this year. Oh boy...... I will let you all know if they come a'knockin'!
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christmas tags
by Shakita ini came back from the store and realized i had forgotten to buy christmas tags.
so i went on-line and below are the sites of some i thought were really cute.
just print and cut out.
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Alana
Those sites are wonderful! Thank you sooooooo much for the links!
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Name That Tune...
by SpannerintheWorks ini thought it would be fun to do this.
anybody can post a lyric from a recorded song.
we have 5 "post-chances" to guess the song.
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Alana
I just love these games!
Anyway.....could the answer be: "On The Street Where You Live" by Vic Damone?
ps....if this is right, I don't have a new lyric to submit....YIKES!!....will that disqualify me????
Edited by - Alana on 3 December 2002 17:9:42
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24
What Dogs Really Want (it's gross)
by Robdar ini love animals and have many pets.
this past year i got a dog.
i have a fenced-in back yard so the dog goes outside a lot.
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Alana
Hi all....I'm a newer poster, so you all may not be familar with me and I don't want to just barge into a thread, BUT.....whenever dogs are concerned I have to brag about my spoiled rotten mutts!!
I don't know how to insert a pic and have it show up, but I have a solid white German Shepard named Gunner and a big, fat Beagle named Remington! The beagle is a natural glutton and will eat anything he can.......we have nicknamed him 'Hoover', due to his amazing abilities to act just like a vaccuum cleaner sucking up anything in sight!
They, also, love anything gross and disgusting.....outdoors or indoors......all the trash cans in the house have to be the kind with lids, because the beagle loves to eat trash of any sort (his favorites are used kleenex and q-tips! ewwwwwwwwww!!!)
Anyway, I love seeing all the pics of your doggies......is there a trick of some sort to posting pics, as I've seen some on other threads not show anything but a little box with an "x".....if I know how to do it, I will post my babies on here, too!
~"Alana"
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10
It Could Happen to You.....
by pettygrudger ini left the jw's at 16 - df'd actually, 17 years ago.
it was horrific.
i lost friends, to some extent family etc.
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Alana
Petty,
That is a wonderful story. I know that I lost several friends when they were either DF'd or DA'd and it tore me us so much inside. I was a 'good JW' and shunned them as I was supposed to, but hated every minute of it.
Later in life, when I made the decision to drift away, I still felt so bad for my treatment to some of these ones. One was reinstated before I left and I said I was sorry, but she was shocked that I would say that, as I was doing "what a Christian should do"....well, now that I'm drifted away her sister has shunned me, but she will still occassionally email, but with the intention of getting me back to the KH.
But, I did look up some other people I knew and sent letters or called them to apologize for my treatment of them. Most were surprised that, first of all, I'd leave JWs since my dad was who he is (P.O. and all) and even more shocked that it hurt me enough to feel like I needed to apologize. One of my best friends, said that she never thought ill of me, because she knew I still loved her and that I wasn't acting that way because I wanted to....but only because I "had to", and that she knew I was smart and would finally figure it all out on my own and that she was waiting on the outside with open arms for me. That was the best ending.
I only had one who did not respond and when I called her she was rude and hung up on me. She is very bitter toward JWs and especially my father, so she had no desire to talk to me or accept any apology or attempt to make amends.
But, I love those with the happy endings!
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121
Hi
by trybalance ini'm a first time poster.
i'm not a jw.
my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.
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Alana
Hi, Trybalance......I understand what you are saying. I don't post here all that often, but I read the posts all the time. I also know alot of XJW's that have been able to go on....some here, who are here to help others heal and try to get on with their lives. My first husband was a JW and he was able to move on with his life and when I spoke with him a few years ago, I mentioned the online sites and he said he didn't need to re-live that part of his life....that that part of his life was gone. He's 'healed' for the most part.....he still lost most all of his family, and no doubt somewhere in his heart he feels pain, but he says "that's their choice".
However, I do honestly believe that unless a person has experienced what another person has in life, they don't know exactly how it feels, or how that person will handle things.......as many times the way we handle some things depends on how we were raised or taught to do so.
My boyfriend has a hard time sometimes with all the XJW things and doesn't understand how they can require their members to do some of the things they do and act the way they do......like not report things, cut off family, etc. But, I tell him that if that is all you were ever taught and have that fear instilled in you, you do things that you may not like.....yes, it's your choice, but if it's all you were ever taught and you sincerely believe that it's the most Holy way to act, then you do it.
So, people let bad things continue (i.e., child abuse, die from no blood, not report physical abuse, etc.) because they know no other way or are afraid of the consequences to "their little insulated world" if they do try to 'buck the system'.....they will be branded as evil as Satan the Devil himself. I don't think I have as "bad" of an attitude about JWs, I feel more pity for them....at least the ones like my elderly parents, who sincerely want to be serving God and feel this is the only way........they are not currupt indivuals, just misled sheep. I feel that God can see in each of our hearts and knows which ones are like that....and which ones are just bad people.......just like in any religion.
I also feel that many online, who have been hurt so bad by what they have experienced, just don't want others to fall into the same trap that they did and possibly experience the same pain. People vent this in many different ways.....and many online are at different levels of 'healing'. Each of our personalities are different as well, and just handle any kind of matters differently.
Personally, I am glad you feel you have the ability to move on when you need to in your life and not dwell on things that may not be able to be changed (like situations that have occurred). Others may not be able to as well, and others yet may not wish to, as then they feel that others may then suffer, too, because of their complacity. We are all different and I relish the freedom to be able to be different. It has helped me to hear some of these others' experiences, feelings, and ventings.......even if sometimes they do have "an attitude".....because I have experienced similar things and can relate to the feelings and frustrations and no longer feel "alone" out in this world that I was taught was so unGodly, vile, and evil......and, which, by the way, I have found is not that way at all.
I hope things continue as well for you as they seem to be now. I had a friend growing up that married a non-JW, and they are happy together now for over 20 years......it was quite a scandal in our little congregation, even though eventually those in the congregation did some to like him. He has never studied or become a JW, but attends sometimes on special occasions........and the congregation goes to their farm sometimes for picnics, etc., and do sincerely like him. But, even his wife feels bad sometimes, because she knows that according to her beliefs, he will be destroyed by Jehovah at sometime, with the rest of the non-JWs at Armageddon and it makes her sad sometimes. He's Lutheran, and while he may beleive some of the JW doctrine, he has no desire to convert....and he hasn't interferred in her raising their three children as JWs. They, however, are more of the exception, rather than the rule, but it can happen.....and I hope it stays happy and that way with you and your wife.....I truly do.
I feel that most everyone here is basically well-meaning.......it's like when a new person to JWs feels they "have the Truth" and has to tell everyone in their family.....because they don't want them to die at Armageddon.....so, out of love, they might pester the hell out of their family and maybe even drive some of them away.....and maybe they use that "tough love" approach, that JWs are masters of.......to shun them until they 'come to their senses'. Most of the time, while not the most kind thing, may truly be out of love.
So, please keep some of these thoughts in mind when you read some of the online things from XJWs....that we all react differently when actually are in certain situations and some want to be vocal to try to help keep others from being hurt.....or, they are hurt and are vocal for help, healing, and companionship.
~"Alana"