Posts by alfie

9

Dateline vs 60 Minuites

by Beans in

i think dateline was easy on the dubs!

i firmly believe that if 60 minuites would have done this coverage it would have been better and more directed and clear!!!.

beans

Trained Lobsters

by alfie in

> > > thought we could all use a chuckle!.

> > > in a small fishing village, a newfoundlander was walking up.

> > >the wharf carrying two - at least three pound live lobsters -.

> > >
> > > Thought we could all use a chuckle!
> > >
> > >
> > > In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up
> > >the wharf carrying two - at least three pound live lobsters -
> > > one in each hand. It was three weeks after the season closed!
> > > Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Fisheries
> > > Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters,
> > >says:
> > > Well me Laddie I got you this time - with two live lobsters -
> > >three weeks after the Season Closed!
> > >The Newfie says, No - My Son you are wrong! These are two
> > > trained Lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season
> > >ended.
> > >The Fisheries Officer says, " Trained Like How ?"
> > >Well my son, each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf
> and
> > >puts them in the water for a swim. While they
> > >swim I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke, or two. After about 15
> minutes
> > >I whistles and up comes me two Lobsters, and I takes them home!
> > > Likely story, the Fisheries Officer says! Lets take them on
> > >down the wharf and see if its true. So, the Newfie goes ahead of the
> > >Fisheries Officer to the end of the Wharf where, under
> > >supervision, he gently lowers both Lobsters into the Water. The Newfie
> sets
> > >on a Wharf Piling and lights up a smoke, then another!
> > >
> > >After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie -
> > >How about whistling? The Newfie says " What For?"
> > >The Fisheries Officer says, " To call in the Lobsters"
> > >The Newfie says, " What Lobsters ?

What's it all about?
alfie

3

cell phone call

by alfie in

several men are in the locker room of a golf club, showering, getting.

changed for the 19th hole.

when a cell phone on a bench rings, a man picks.

alfie

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club, showering, getting
changed for the 19th hole. When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man picks
it up, engages the handsfree speaker function, and begins a conversation
(M=man, W=wife):

M: "Hello?"

W: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

M: "Yes."

W: "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a
beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?"

M: "What's the price?"

W: "Only $1,000."

M: "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."

W: "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001
models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me
a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought
last year..."

M: "What price did he quote you?"

W: "Only $60,000."

M: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

W: "Great! But before we hang up, something else..."

M: "What?"

W: " I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we
looked at last year. It's for sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English
Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property."

M: "How much are they asking?"

W: "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price. It may seem like a lot, but I was
reconciling your bank account...and I see that we have enough in the bank to
cover the down."

M: "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"

W: "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later! I love you!!!"

M: "Bye...I love you too..."

The man hangs up and closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at
him in astonishment and derision. The man holds up the phone and asks
"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

What's it all about?
alfie

22

Beards,Tatoos and Body Piercing !

by YYHWH in

jw
friends

it sure is nice to have the freedom to enjoy some of the simple things in life without having a guilt trip.. i remember when i was in the non-truth and i would go on vacation i would always use the oppurtunity to grow out my beard, of course my wife would insist that i shave before anybody from the hall saw me.. now i keep a full beard and it cracks me up when i run into people from the hall and when they talk to me they seem to not be able to not stare at my beard.. i cant wait to get me a tatoo.

alfie

So if I were to get a tattoo on my chest, would that be like tit for tat?

What's it all about?
alfie

8

What was your most embarrasing moments?

by Tammie in

i'll get the ball rolling with mine.

i actually have two, but i will talk about the one that happened at the kingdom hall.

i was about 17 years old at the time.

alfie

My most embarrassing situation happened on a particularly hot summer evening during a Service Meeting. Our KH was old and stifling due to lack of windows and air conditioning. I had to read a letter about the atrocities committed against the witnesses in Rwanda.
Being so hot,(and I perspire easily and profusely),I was drenched in sweat and dripping all over the letter I was trying to read to the congregation,a pioneer sister in the front row got up and mopped my forehead right there in front of everyone.To top it off, the letter was so touching, I started to weep, which for a guy my size, is pretty embarassing.

What's it all about?
alfie

17

UNWANTED DONKEY LOVE......ewwwww

by think41self in

check out this video clip .

http://www.madblast.com/view.cfm?type=video&display=984.

if i'd known i was going to live this long, i'd have taken better care of myself!

alfie

Kinda makes you wonder;which ass wanted it more

What's it all about?
alfie

15

Old School Candy!!!

by Mister Biggs in

inspired by closer2fine's 70's/80's thread.. .

.

alfie

Does anyone remember HOT Cinnamon toothpicks?

What's it all about?
alfie

11

More threats...

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

i received this message from someone trying to "help" me by making threats of eternal damnation.

ahhh yes, can't you feel the love?.

if you die today will you go to heaven .

alfie

Although I no longer attend meetings or associate with the WBTS, I became a Witness because their message at least made some sense to me, unlike these freaks who run around spewing this kind of nonsense.

What's it all about?
alfie

13

Going Down Without Guilt.

by Englishman in

jw
friends

lots of posts lately about oral sex.

natural or perverted?

normal or disgusting stuff?

alfie

My bathroom instrument is a karaoke machine

16

Our 1st Tree

by Mulan in

jw
friends

i bought a tiny christmas tree today.

it's of rosemary, and smells heavenly.

i bought some small ornaments, and put them on it, and when my husband came home today, i surprised him with it.

alfie

Hi there all,
We too in our family have finally made the leap into Christmas with all the trimmings.Our "worldly"relatives have welcomed us with open arms and happy tears.As it's the very first Christmas for our daughter,son-in-law and granddaughter,we've decided to celebrate with just the five of us,and our families think that is great.In my pre-witness days,I loved Christmas and,as I write,am about six feet in the air.My wife still feels a little funny,but she's finding it easier with each passing day.Well,MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone.

What's it all about?
alfie