Xander -
but if the OVERALL affect of the WT advice results in 'failure'...I have found in my travels, though, it is the exception rather than the rule.
Unfortunately, since we are both using our personal experience as our evidence, we cannot verify this either way without extensive work. My experience, through my "travels" has been the exact opposite. The COMPLETE opposite.
you did say the WT only 'helped' - I had read your above post to mean that the WT was the reason, which was the point I was argueing.
The "help" IS the "reason." An alcoholic can say, "AA is the reason I was able to stop drinking." Of course, we know that it is not the only reason, but that wouldn't disqualify his statement. I can effectively say that the teaching of the WT is the reason my parents have a happy marriage. If he had gone to another religion, he may not have agreed with their doctrinal beliefs and woudn't have followed any of their advice. Since he became a JW, he did follow their teachings and what they taught him about marriage was a benefit.
How many marriages have you been in? 1? Right. The problem with the society's solution is that is makes the marriage LOOK like a success to everyone but whose in it. Indeed, the participants in the marriage will tell their closest friends only how happy they are. In fact, they probably continually tell THEMSELVES how happy they are. "Really, I'm happy". "This is a godly marriage, and that brings me peace". "I'm supposed to be filled with joy, and I am". "A three-fold cord can't easily be broken, and so our marriage is strong". While looking into a mirror trying to force a smile.Maybe you DO have a happy marriage applying WT counsel. Good for you. I have found in my travels, though, it is the exception rather than the rule.
You are either making the assumption that a good number of JWs are unhappy in their marriage or you have actually talked to a lot of JWs who have told you they are not happy. I will use the same reasoning many have used against happy JW marriages...if they are unhappy in their marriage as JWs, they would probably be unhappy in their marriages if they WEREN'T JWs.
Again, my point is that the WT direction to married couples in most cases seems to help (from my experiences.)
I'm sorry, this is just idiotic. Why don't you ask a women, any women, why she has a problem with the concept of her being inferior
Submissive does NOT equal inferior. Just ask Hyghlander.
Ever once here an elder EVER mention time to sit down and have a nice dinner, and NOT TALK ABOUT RELIGION or spirituality? Just thoughts, goals, feelings?
I don't think an elder would ever discourage a couple from talking about the Bible, but I HAVE heard elders encourage talking about thoughts, goals and feelings.
Joy2bfree -
As IW pointed out and Intro, marriages in the Borg are programmed; they don’t deal with feelings or emotions.
Of course they are programmed, they try and program them according to the bible, it is up to the individuals to take that "program" and add the love and kindness to it. I have consistently seen the WT encourage the dealing of feelings and emotions between marriage mates, just because people have difficulty applying this does not mean the information is not there.
I have a brother and a sister whose marriage is just in word only. They and their spouses don’t share the same bedroom and hardly talk to each other.
Sounds like they are not following the advice of the WT and the Bible. I've never seen any WT that says if you don't get along, just live in seperate rooms. I would think they have some problems they need to deal with and are choosing not to. That is not encouraged by the WT.
Take the time, while you and everyone that is lurking here, to really look at yourself. Being honest with yourself and what you believe is the beginning of freedom not the parroting of someone else’s beliefs and actions.
Please do not assume that I am a "lost sheep" and that you are one of the "enlightened" who is here to nudge me along. I would make a guess that you have jumped from the frying pan into another frying pan if you went from being a JW thinking everyone else was wrong to a ex-JW thinking JWs are wrong and need to be enlightened. I am completely agnostic and always eager to learn, I realize that everyone one in the world can be enlightened on a daily basis. I am also not foolish enough to think that anything I say or do is so original that I am not "parroting someone else's beliefs." I have yet to meet someone who has risen above this.
