David,
Our quiet, empathetic thoughts are with you. You'd think at this very sobering 'fork in the road' in your parent's life...they would/could see what a terrible waste of time and love...it has been following the WT corporations by-laws. I truly hope this shakes their faith.
I have to deal with shunning issues from my own children and other JW's, too. It's a one-day-at-a-time endeavor, my friend. Some days are just a lot worse. Recently, I was rushed to a hospital emergency room, very sick. My sweet wife called around to inform relatives, including one of my kids -- there was no return calls from any witnesses.
It's just so damn sad. And, I feel so sorry for you, me and all of us who've been touched by this inhumanity the JW's accept as love. Sickness and death tho'...sometimes has the power to pry open the skulls of the toughest nuts. The fact that they did call and allow their son's presence...maybe...is a hopeful sign.
I tend to shut down, too. Ms. Rabbit won't let me do that too much. Rely on people who are reliable...and I hope you and your family the best.