From the looks of it, sounds like your elders are pretty understanding and liberal, like many others here have said. Now, you said:
I also asked about everyone dying that wasn't a baptised witness or their children and they both said that they didn't believe that. One of them quoted the scripture that states "A great crowd of people no man will be able to number" and said that if it were just witnesses then it would be a number easily counted. I said how I find it hard to accept that a person who has spent their entire lives helping other people (eg Red Cross workers in other countries) and sees things that make them doubt God exsists or cares would be killed at Armeggedon just because they failed to listen to the Witnesses.
And he agreed and said that Jehovah knows everyone's heart and will judge on that alone. I replied that the brother at our group study the other week stated catagorically that everyone who has been witnesssed to and rejects it will die
The elder at your book study might have gotten the idea from this:
*** You Can live Forever (1982, 1990) p.255 ***
Do not conclude that there are different roads, or ways, that you can follow to gain life in God's new system. There is only one. There was just one ark that survived the Flood, not a number of boats. And there will be only one organization ? God's visible organization ? that will survive the fast-approaching "great tribulation." It is simply not true that all religions lead to the same goal? You must be part of Jehovah's organization, doing God's will, in order to receive his blessing of everlasting life?
and,
*** Watchtower 1981 December 1 p.27 The Path of the Righteous Does Keep Getting Brighter ***
Jehovah God has also provided his visible organization, his "faithful and discreet slave," made up of spirit-anointed ones ? Unless we are in touch with this channel of communication that God is using, we will not progress along the road to life, no matter how much Bible reading we do.
So here you go, it's clearly stated here that you must be part of God's Organization to be saved at Armeggedon. Interesting enough, one of the things my mom said to pressure me into getting baptized is that if you're old enough to make decisions, and that if you don't take position for God's kingdom, and get baptized, I would be destroyed if Armaguedon. Now she must have gotten that idea somewhere wouldn't she? Anyways, they flip flop so much it's hard to keep up. For example:
*** Official Jehovah's Witnesses Media Relations Web Site***
http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm
Collected on March 18, 2001
Do you believe that you are the only ones who will be saved?
No. Many millions who have lived in centuries past and who were not Jehovah's Witnesses will come back in a resurrection and have an opportunity for life. Many now living may yet take a stand for truth and righteousness before God's time of judgment, and they will gain salvation. Moreover, Jesus said that we should not be judging one another. Humans look at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. He sees accurately and judges mercifully. God has committed judgment into Jesus' hands, not ours. ?Matthew 7:1-5; John 5:22, 27.
Of course, this is a public relations website, and it wouldn't be good business if they said straight out that anyone not a JW will die at Armagueddon. Btw, I don't know if I missed it in your post, but what did they elders say about the UN/NGO thing?
Nocturne.