what's the bloody point of it all?
Saw your photo. You are a likable dude. You should like yourself too.
The point of it all is justice.
As you experience and everyone else too, life is not everything. You have heard expressions like "it is better to die on your feet than live to live your knees, etc. You are not alone in the "suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.. whips and scorns of the oppressor's wrong.."
Also, mental depression can make things seem worse than they really are.
You need to have the courage to let go and rely on God. You should be able to communicate with God and I do not mean talking to a wall. When you realize that the horse talks back, you will see the point.
Hang on to life, poi.
That is how I see it.